Gorgon Zolo: Trial by fire
by Amaxing
Summary: Part 2 of my pirate-lawyer saga thing. A murder. A marine. A mystery. A marimo. Roronoa Zoro returns as rookie attorney Gorgon Zolo, and he'll need every OBJECTION! in the book to save his client...
1. Turnabout Sequel

Official dispatch from Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc

This is just to say…

Writing the first Gorgon Zolo… it took a lot out of me as a writer…

I have nothing left… absolutely nothing…

So despite the generous amount of positive reviews…

It pains me to say this, but…

I will no longer write any more Gorgon Zolo stories…

I'm sorry if the ending to the last one was misleading

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**OBJECTION!**

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Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc…

With support from viewers like you…

Proudly presents…

GORGON ZOLO…. THE MUSICAL!!!!

(Dainty show tune music plays)

Zoro: _I…object…to everything_

_That you…say…EVERYTHING_

_Cause in…there…SOMETHING'S_

_A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE_

_I know that in….there…somewhere's_

_A contradiction SOMEWHERE_

_And when I POINT OUT WHERE_

_You'll CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY_

Witness: _That I knew the time?_

Zoro: _Everything_

Witness: _That I didn't lie?_

Zoro: _Everything_

Witness: _That my statements rhyme?_

Zoro: _Everything_

Witness: _THAT I DID THE CRIME?_

Zoro: _Damn straight you did_

_I'd… risk… anything_

_To prove this…ANYTHING_

_Cause I…object…to EVERYTHING_

Witness: _Everything?_

Zoro: _Everything…you say!_

**OBJECTION!**

Sanji couldn't take the pressure anymore. He jumped onto the table, crawled across it on his belly toward the green-haired swordsman, and…

**OBJECTION!**

Franky: No way! You're seriously, like, a cyborg?

Kuma: Like, totally, like, why are you, like asking?

Franky: Because I'm like, totally a cyborg too!

Kuma: OMG! No! Way!

Franky: Yeah, I know!

Kuma: We should, like, totally make out!

Franky: OMG! Let's do it!

**OBJECTION! **(A/n: If I see any Franky/Kuma pairings now, I'm shooting myself.)

"All the evidence points to one thing!" yelled Zoro, arms placed on his hips. "Crocodile!"

"YOU ARE REALLY A WOMAN!"

"Urgh…. Ugh…" muttered Crocodile. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

**OBJECTION!**

"THIS IS MADNESS!" Yelled Skyler, pulling at his perfect blue hair.

"Madness?" taunted Amaxing "This is _fanfiction!_"

"Why? Why are you writing a story like this?"

"I'm not."

"…?" Skyler was puzzled.

"Think about it, Sky, look at the evidence and tell me. _How can what I just said be true?"_

Skyler thought, then…

**TAKE THAT!**

"Section 5 subsection c of the AFFI handbook states that every chapter in every story must begin with a disclaimer!" He slammed the desk (Where did the desk come from?). "ERGO! None of this…"

"HAS ANYTHING TO SO WITH THE STORY!!!!!"

Amaxing clapped. "Job well done Sky, job well done."

"Does this mean I get to be a main character?"

"Just start the story."

"Oh…."

Disclaimer:

I COULD NEVER HOPE TO

I COULD NEVER HOPE TO OWN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

COULD NEVER HOPE TO OWN YOU

WILL NEVER OWN ONE PIECE OR CAPCOM, THROW ALL YOUR HANDS UP

NO!

COULD NEVER OWN

COULD NEVER OWN

COULD NEVER OWN YOU! (Awesome guitar riff)

Gorgon Zolo: _Trial By Fire_

Thousand Suns. 8/18. 7:06 pm.

Lightning flashed outside the Thousand Suns. The ship rocked violently back and forth, and its passengers were thrown about on the waves like rag dolls. A shrill cry of pain echoed from beneath the deck, sending shivers down the spines of all on board.

"I….I CAN'T!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!!!!"

"ZORO! DON'T GIVE UP! DON'T YOU QUIT ON ME _NOW_!!!"

"Nami… stop…. I just… I WANT TO DIE!!!! LET ME BE!!!"

"I'M NOT LETTING YOU QUIT, YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE!!!"

"no…."

"YES!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! FOCUS!!!!"

"I…. I'll try…."

"THAT'S IT!!! DON'T GIVE IN NOW! HOLD OUT!!!" She took a deep breath, and then held up a slip of paper. "Alright Zoro… what…. Does 'double jeopardy' mean?"

"That's…. that's where a person… can't be put on trial for the same crime twice? Right?"

"YES! YOU DID IT!!!!" Nami struck a victory pose. "See? I knew you could do it the whole time!" She began to dance around the room. Zoro, exhausted, slumped against the wall, and began talking to himself.

_My name is Roronoa Zoro. Up until a few weeks ago, the crew knew me as a feared swordsman and a stoic first mate. But then _that trial_ happened, and ever since they've decided to give me a _new_ title._

Flashback

"IT'S FINISHED!" yelled Usopp triumphantly.

"What? What's going on?" asked Zoro. He was blindfolded, being led to the deck by Nami.

"You're going to _love_ it, trust me" assured Nami. She took the blindfold off. "TADA!!"

Zoro stood in front of his cabin; his jaw dropped wide open in shock. On his door, Usopp had painted a silhouette of him with his pointer finger outstretched; below this read the words "Gorgon Zolo: Ace Attorney."

"Pretty good, huh?" smiled Usopp. At least, he _would_ have said that, had Zoro not leapt on him and begun strangling him.

"WHAT! DID! YOU! DO! TO! MY! DOOR!!!!" he screamed.

"But… it looks _so_ cool!" pleaded Nami.

"Does not!"

"Does _too_!"

"_Does NOT_!"

"_DOES TOO_!"  
**OBJECTION!**

"Can't hide it forever, Zoro. You're a lawyer." She made an 'hmph' sound, and walked away.

"can I…. have my…. breathing…privileges…back now...?" came Usopp's choked voice.

"NO."

"…fine…"

End Flashback.

_Yeah. Don't worry; I didn't kill Usopp. Not yet._

From the deck of the ship, Usopp's scream could be heard. "AGH! ZORO'S GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!'

_Mind reading gag…still being used… must… escape… _

_Anyway, over the past few weeks, Nami has decided she's going to be my 'legal aide' and started telling me to study up on law. Normally, I wouldn't go that kind of thing, but… she bribed me with having me debt paid off… at least, part of it anyway. And the rest, as they say, is hell. Err… I mean, history._

"LAND HO!" yelled Franky from the crow's nest.

"Already?" asked Nami "We're only on the first chapter!"

"We didn't even _have_ a ship scene in the last story, remember?" reminded Franky.

"Ah, true."

"So… what island are we at this time?" asked Zoro.

"Lets see… it says here… Nitonnec"

"Are you kidding me? Can't it have a normal name like Spring Fields or…"

"It's Nitonnec."

"Fine…"

Nitonnec Square. 8/18. 8:03 pm.

The island of Nitonnec was horseshoe-shaped. The majority of the island met the sea as sharp cliffs and hills. In the east, however, these cliffs faded down into a sandy beach; where ships docked. From this beach, a path led to the center of the island, Nitonnec Square (you know how European countries usually have large plazas in their major cities? Picture that), one of the largest ports in the area.

"We'd best find some place to stay, it's getting late" said Sanji.

"MEAT FIRST! THEN SLEEP!!!" cried you-know-who.

"We just ate half an hour ago…"

"MEAT FIRST! THEN SLEEP!!!"

"I don't know," pondered Brooke "it would be nice to rest my BODY somewhere other than that hammock! YOHOHO!!!"

"You really need to get a better line, man," said Chopper.

"That's be SUPER!" agreed Franky.

Chopper stared at Franky as the five of them went off.

"Well then… I suppose we could look around a bit before dinner…" mused Zoro.

"Yeah! Where should we go?"

"How about the courthouse?" offered Robin.

Nami's face lit up, while Zoro made slashing motions across his throat.

"What about the courthouse?" asked Nami.

"Nitonnec is world-renowned for it's courthouse, it's one of the biggest and most beautiful in the world."

"You're not just making that up now, are you?" eyed Zoro.

"We're going to the courthouse, Zoro!" cheered Nami.

"Oh c'mon…"

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/18. 9:16 pm.

"Erm… this… is world renowned?"

A finely-made, golden gate opened up to a large, impressive building that stood on a tall hill; a long, winding dirt path ran gently down the slope, lush and green like a certain lawyer's (Zoro: SWORDMAN'S!) swordsman's hair. That of course, was the judge's house. The courthouse was a small, dingy, gray, stone building with roman columns. A flight of ten broken down steps led to the single chamber within.

Nami stared, mouth agape.

"Robin… _lied_ to us?" asked Nami incredulously. "_WHY?_ What on earth could have possessed her to do something like that?"

"Maybe she got her facts mixed up?" offered Zoro.

"OR MAYBE SHE'S A CONNIVING WITCH-WOMAN!"

"ROBIN-CHAN IS NOT A WITCH WOMAN YOU STUPID MARIMOOOOOOOOOO!" came Sanji's voice from afar.

Zoro sweat dropped. "Why does he always assume it's _me?_"

There was an eerie silence.

"Do you ever get the feeling that something really bad is going to happen?" asked Zoro.

"You mean like an unfortunate circumstance that will drag us into a problem that isn't ours and that we'll have to work ridiculously hard to solve?"

"Exactly!"

"Never."

**MANLY TEARFUL OBJECTION DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNCE!!!!**

Zoro and Nami were knocked aside as a police officer carried a woman down the long dirt path and into a cart parked near the gate. Two men came hurtling (and, yet, dancing at the same time) by them in the next instant.

"LET VENKMAN-CHAN ALOOOOOOOOONE!!!!" yelled the one with pink hair.

"OR YOU'LL BE SORRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" yelled the one with the goatee.

_This is all a bad dream, this is all a bad dream, this is all a bad dream…_

Who could these mysterious men be? Who is the lovely Venkman-chan they work so hard to protect? And _why_ am I asking _you_ all these questions? Tune in next time to find out! (Wait, are we seriously in syndication now?)


	2. Venkman chan

Disclaimer: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T OWN ONE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECE!!!!!

(Yup, it's a Garfield/Binky the Clown reference!)

(A/N: Binky isn't in Microsoft Word's dictionary! That's just a crime right there.)

(Ok, Fine, on to the story)

(I'm getting there! I'm getting there!)

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/18. 8:05 pm.

"VENKMAN-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!" yelled the two marines, their mouths wide open and tears gushing from their eyes.

"IT'S SO SAAAAAAD!" cried the one with two ironclad fists.

"LET'S DANCE A MANLY BALLAD OF SADNESS!!!!" cried the one with the chakrams. Then they were off, dancing a tearful tango of tribute to their taken totty.

Nami sweat-dropped. "Ok, honestly, does anyone here _not_ know who these two idiots are by now?"

"HEY!" yelled the one with the heart shaped glasses. "Who are you calling an idiot, Ms. Straw Hat Pirate?" The two men stopped dancing and stared for a minute.

"AGH!" yelled the one who had tried to accuse Sanji of being a bad chef by putting a fly in his soup "It's the Straw Hat Pirates! GET THEM!!!!!"

Zoro put his hands up defensively. "AH! NO! I'm not who you think I am!" _Wait, why aren't I just attacking? That's weird. _

"Yeah!" Nami chimed in. "We're not pirates, we're lawyers!"

"Oh come off it," said the one who had sailed with Captain Kuro, suddenly getting serious. "What kind of person would fall for that?"

"A lot of people actually…" Zoro admitted, reaching for his sword "back on this one island, we convinced everyone that I was some defense attorney named Gorgon Zolo."

"It was kind of funny" Nami continued "considering that there was a picture of all of us in the tavern and everything…"

"Apparently, if I put on a suit, I look like a completely different person" Zoro finished.

"Wait" interrupted the one who had taken second place in a dancing competition "you say that you… Roronoa Zoro… you're Gorgon Zolo?"

"Erm… yeah… kind of…"

The two men looked at each other. Then they cried out in jubilation "VENKMAN-CHAN IS SAVED DANCE!!!!" Then they were off, dancing a fast fugue of friendship to their fortunate find.

Zoro and Nami sweat dropped. "Are these guys even worth helping?" asked Nami.

"It's our job, Nami" Zoro said, shaking his head "it's out job."

"ALRIGHT!" yelled the one who always walked backwards "introduction time! My name's Mickey Jacque-san!"

"And I'm Faux Gourmand!" yelled the one who knew nothing about wine.

"WHAT?" yelled Nami. "AREN'T YOU FULLBODY AND DJANGO???"

"SH!" hushed Django and Fullbody.

"Quiet down!" continued Django "We're undercover right now! No one's supposed to know who we are!"

"But you look the same way you always do…"

"But we're in marine clothes! As long as we wear our uniforms, people will just write us off as random, filler characters."

"Good point."

"DJANGO!! HOW CAN YOU BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AT A TIME LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!" cried Fullbody.

"A time like what?" asked Zoro.

"AH! That's right!" Django said with a jolt "We just found out you're that lawyer dude!"

"Erm… yeah…so?"

"Defend Venkman-chaaaaaaaaaan!!!' cried Fullbody, the absence of all caps showing that he had calmed down a bit.

"Who's Venkman-chan?" asked Nami.

"You should meet her yourself!" nodded Django "she's so… how do I put this… _captivating_."

"EXCELLENT USE OF DICTION, DJANGO!!!" yelled Fullbody.

"THANKS! LET'S DANCE BABY! Then they were off, dancing a deliberate dance to diverse diction.

_What _happened_ to these two?_

Nitonnec Detention Center. 8/18. 8:15 pm.

"It's so dark and dank in here!" exclaimed Fullbody.

"This is no place to keep a beauty like Venkman-chan!!!" added Django.

"Shut up, both of you" came a feminine voice.

A blonde woman wearing all black at the window of the visitor's room. She looked at Django and Fullbody coldly, spurning their advances. Then her eyes fell on Zoro."

"Straw Hats… why are you here?" she smiled "the last time Hina saw you, your ship was eating dozens of Hina's spears!"

"SO CUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!" yelled Django and Fullbody.

_Right… talking about violence is _always_ cute… well, actually, that would explain why I have so many fan girls._

"But not as many as Sanji." taunted Nami.

"HEY! I'M _WAY_ MORE POPULAR THAN THAT ERO…"

"Hina is confused" interrupted the woman "why is Roronoa Zoro here to see me? I warn you, Hina doesn't appreciate advances."

"Well, you see, these idiots want me to defend someone called 'Venkman-chan' and drug me over here." He shook his head. "But if they only brought me here to see you, I'll be leaving now."

"NOOOOO! DON'T GOOOOO!" yelled Django.

"HINA-CHAN _IS_ VENKMAN CHAAAAAN!!!" cried Fullbody.

"Ok… then…. I'm still leaving. Bye."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" yelled Fullbody. "You won't help just because she's a MARIIIIINE!!!!!"

"I'LL MAKE HIM DO IT, BABY!" yelled Django. "When I say one, two, Django, you'll forget you're Roronoa Zoro and just be Gorgon Zolo!!! 1, 2….DJANGO!!!!"

**OBJECTION!**

"I'M THE GREAT GORGON ZOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Django, his finger outstretched.

Zoro sweat dropped. "I'm…. just going to leave now…"

"Wait."

It was the softness of the woman's voice that held him back; the helplessness and despair that underscored the word; the single word that admitted to him that she needed his help.

"What?" asked Zoro, turning to face the marine.

"Hina…" she sniffed, and then began to cry. "HINA IS SCARED!" She wept openly.

_Ack!_

"YOU MADE HINA-CHAN CRYYYY!!!!" yelled Django.

"WE'LL MAKE YOU PAAAAYYY!" agreed Fullbody.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" Hina's voice came sharply. The weakness that had been there seconds ago was gone. "You will both leave now, I have matters to discuss."

"Yes Hina-chan" the two dancing marines nodded, and quickly left.

"So… Gorgon Zolo…" Hina said softly. "Let's see if you're really as good as Hina hears…"

"So… what exactly is going on?" asked Nami.

"Ah, yes, why Hina was arrested. Very well than." She straightened up. "Keep in mind, Hina only knows what she was told by the officers that arrested her."

"Than what were you arrested for?" asked Zoro.

"Apparently, I murdered one of the town's two judges, Thomas Hamilton, in the library sometime this evening."

"WHAAAAT?" yelled Zoro. "ANOTHER MURDER??"

"Well, yeah, who wants to read a story about a defense against petty larceny?" queried Nami.

"I suppose… wait!" A light bulb appeared over Zoro's head.

"What is that thing?" asked Nami, pointing to the light bulb.

"I don't know, but regardless, I just had a thought! The murder occurred in the library, right?"

"Yes…" Hina smiled "that is correct."

"But they just brought you from some building across town!"

"The judge's house, as it were" added Hina "but yes, you're right. Apparently, the police believe that Hina had sufficient time to run across town and break into the house."

"Well, if you weren't running away from the scene, then why were you at the judges house?" asked Zoro curiously.

"Hina…" she looked down "Hina cannot say."

_Ok, now THAT'S_ _just suspicious._

"HINA!" yelled Nami suddenly "YOU WEREN'T…?"

"Huh? OH!" Hina blushed "NO! It's nothing like that… he was at least seventy after all…"

"Well, y'know, that doesn't exactly _mean_ anything…"

SMACK! "ZORO!" yelled the tangerine head "THERE'S NO ROOM HERE FOR YOUR ILL-FLAVORED HUMOR!!!"

_But there's room here for your ill-timed outbursts? Whoa. Déjà vu. _Somebody's _using the same jokes more than once._

"STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!!" yelled Nami.

_Yup. Running out of material._

"So… will you take Hina's case?" asked Hina.

"I dunno…" murmured Zoro "I mean… there is the whole 'trying to kill me' thing and the 'marine' thing…"

"But?" asked Hina, hopefully.

"But… I suppose if you're really innocent, letting you get a guilty verdict would be wrong."

"So you'll take Hina's case!" Hina clapped her hands in delight.

"Yeah, if for nothing else, just to stick it to 'the man'."

"Thank you…" Hina smiled "Hina will never forget you… Roronoa Zoro." She winked at him, and left.

_Did she just…?_

"Well, c'mon Zoro!" said Nami. "We've got investigating to do!"

"No we don't."

"What?"

"This is where the chapter ends."

"FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP

Credits

Writer: Amaxing

Editor: Dante Cervantes

Disclaimer: Skyler ????? (No last name giver)

Disposal of junk ideas: Nathan Amarillo.

All characters are copyrights of Eiichero Oda. Story idea based on PHEONIX WRIGHT: ACE ATTORNEY, by Capcom/ Nintendo.

I know, I know, it's a 'move the plot along' chapter and it wasn't all that funny! But we have to get these done to get to the trial! Then you can scream **OBJECTION!** At your screen as much as you want!


	3. A rushed investigation

Disclaimer: The official Amaxing cake: **Amaxing owns both Nintendo and One Piece.**

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Somewhere in Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc.'s basement:

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The cake is a lie… the cake is a lie… the cake is a lie…

Nitonnec Total Fitness. 8/19. 6:30 am.

Nami slipped into the gym hurriedly. She quickly ran into the locker room, changed into workout clothes, and hurried into the weight room.

"You're up early, aren't you?" asked Zoro, who was pumping iron.

"ACK!" jumped Nami "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Um… lifting?"

"Well yeah, but, why are you up so early?"

"I figured if I was going to investigate the case, I'd need the entire day, and the only way I could motivate myself to get up so early was by planning to work out here."

"Wait… you were being responsible?" Nami's jaw dropped. "That's really out of character for you, y'know."

"Is not, I'm first mate after all!"

"Yeah, but you forget, Luffy's captain."

"Ah, touché."

Nami stood still for a minute, as Zoro returned to his lifting. "Aren't you going to do anything?" Zoro asked, after five minutes."

"Well… the thing is… I don't like working out in front of guys…"

"Um? That's kind of weird."

"IT IS NOT! I mean… that's why they have all women gyms, y'know? A lot of women feel the same way!"

"I suppose…"

Nami gasped.

"What? What's wrong now?"

"There are marines over in the next building!"

"Well, yeah… we are right next to the library… heck, you can see the crime scene from here!"

"You can?" Nami looked out, and saw a reading room. Through the broken window of the reading room, a large desk, an alarm switch, and the legs of a body could be seen. "Wow… you actually seem kind of prepared today… almost as if you actually _care_ what happens." She eyed Zoro suspiciously.

"Don't even think that, it's not funny."

"Yeah… you wouldn't forget Robin that easily…"

**OBJECTION!**

"HEY!" yelled Zoro. "WHAT THE… I NEVER…"

"Sure Zoro, sure."

Nitonnec Library, Reading Room. 8/19. 7:00 am.

The library was jam-packed with detectives. If by jam-packed, one means to say that there was…one…investigating the scene, along with two marines.

_Good grief… why them?_

"It's horrible, isn't it?" asked Fullbody, mortified.

"I agree, making us gather evidence against our dear Venkman-chan, that's a crime in and of itself!" agreed Django.

"GET BACK TO WORK, BUBS!" yelled the gravely voiced, broad shouldered detective in the Sherlock Holmes-style hat. The detective stopped and looked at Zoro and Nami. Then he smiled. "RENO! GORGON! LONG TIME NO SEE, BUBS!"

"DETECTIVE SPADE!" cried Nami. "What are you doing here?"

_This is Tracy Spade; he's a homicide detective I met on my first case. He looks and sounds menacing when you first meet him… but he's really a nice guy who just wants to find the truth. _

"Didn't you know Reno?" asked Spade, using Nami's alias. "The Cervantes case got me promoted! I'm chief detective for the entire region now!"

"That's great! It's so nice to see you, detective!"

Spade turned to Zoro.

"Yeah, alright, I'll admit it" shrugged Zoro "it's good to see you, bub."

"HEY! That's _my_ endearing character trait!" Spade laughed.

"So, what's the story this time Detective?" asked Zoro.

"It's like this! Judge Thomas Hamilton was killed here around 8:30 last night. He was shot dead, a single shot at point blank."

Autopsy Report (Ah, the first piece of evidence, makes me feel great inside): Judge Thomas Hamilton died from a single, point blank shot to the forehead from a pistol around 8:30. Lived shortly after being shot.

"WHAAT?" yelled Nami. "HE GOT SHOT IN THE FOREHEAD AND LIVED?"

"Momentarily… yes." Spade nodded. "Not only did the autopsy confirm that, but there was also _rock solid_ evidence that the victim lived after being shot."

"What was it?"

"SORRY!" yelled Spade all of a sudden. "Can't tell you anything! You're not even really supposed to have that autopsy report, just so you know how lenient I'm being with you."

"What? Why all the secrecy?" asked Zoro.

"You see…" Spade whispered "The victim being a judge, the prime suspect being a marine… it's not a good image for the World Government to have, is it?"

"They're hushing it up to save face?" asked Nami, outraged. "That's not fair!"

"SORRY! I want to keep my job, after all. You can leave now!"

"But…" Zoro's hand twitched towards his sword.

"Detective Spade? Can you look over here for a moment?"

"Bub, what are you…?

"DJANGO!"

Detective Tracy Spade's eyed went out of focus. Django tipped his hat and smiled.

"Ask him anything you want, Roronoa Zoro."

_Wow… he certainly wants things to go well… it's a bit romantic I suppose._

"Since when do you know what's romantic?" asked Nami.

"Good point." He turned towards Detective Spade. _Might as well get started… I've got no idea how long this will last…_

"Who was Judge Hamilton?" asked Zoro.

Tracy's voice came out in a long, monotonous drawl. "Judge Hamilton… great man… always gave a correct verdict… followed up on cases where there was any doubt… no enemies."

"Django?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Could you make him talk in complete sentences?"

"No… sorry baby."

"Argh…" Zoro turned back towards Detective Spade. "Why was Officer Venkman arrested?"

"Fingerprints… on gun… perfect match… name at crime scene… witness… strange bondage… weird science… Teletubbies…"

"DJANGO!"

"Don't look at me!" Django raised his arms defensively. "He must really like Teletubbies… sometimes things that are really important to a person break through even in hypnosis."

_Strange bondage is really important to him? I never thought he was that kind of guy._

"Zoro!" whispered Nami. "Maybe I heard wrong, but didn't Detective Spade say that Hina's _name_ was found at the scene?"

"Ah! You're right! Detective Spade, you said something about a _name_ at the crime scene…"

"See… for self…" He pointed in at the reading room. "But... no go in… no one yet disturb crime scene… no go in" he reasserted.

Zoro looked in at the crime scene. The body of Thomas Hamilton lay sprawled across the floor, but from the doorway, only his upper half was visible. A solid, crimson pool gathered where his head lay. His arm led to the wall, and his finger lay beneath a letter 'k', a letter 'k' in the word 'VENKMAN'.

_Crap… that's not good._

Snap!

_What the…_

"Never know when a picture will come in handy!" said Nami.

_Fair enough…_

"Is that all?" asked Zoro.

"OOH! OOH! Mr. Lawyer-pirate man!" cried Fullbody. "The witness! Ask him who the witness iiiiiiiis!"

_Alright, alright, calm down…_

"I'm CAAAAAAALM!" yelled Fullbody.

_Right…_

"Tracy" Began Zoro "who was the witness?"

"Old man… talk a lot… lives across street… apartment 3f…."

"Thanks."

Nitonnec Apartments, 3f. 8/19. 8:05 am.

Knock knock knock!

"I'm coming, jeez, can't you wait thirty minutes?"

_Thirty minutes? He wants us to wait half an hour?_

The door opened, and an old, balding man wearing a nicely pressed black suit stepped out. He took a look at Zoro. Then he gasped.

"It's YOU!" screamed the old man. "YOU! MR. GORGON ZOLO, 'ACE ATTORNEY', the one who ruined my life! Wasn't destroying the lives of the three people I held most dear to me enough for you? You just had to come back and haunt feeble old Geoffrey Belabor, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Kid's these days! No respect for their elders! Why if I had tried a stunt like this when I was your age, I'd have been strung up from the nearest tree! STRUNG UP! By my own parents no less! Those were the dog-eat-dog days of our society when men were men and women were women and children worked to earn honest wages instead of sitting around being 'creative' and…

(Groan) _This is Geoffrey Belabor. He belabors. A lot. He turned out to be a key witness in my last trial. After that day, he took off from the island of Lotipac, swearing never to return. Unfortunately, it looks like he didn't go very far away…_

"Mr. Belabor… you're a witness for the trial tomorrow?"

"Yes I am, as a matter of fact…"

"Can you tell us what you saw?"

"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF DEFENDING THAT RASCAL HINA, ARE YOU? She's nothing but trouble! And honestly, killing Judge Hamilton, _JUDGE HAMILTON_, that's unforgivable! He was one of the greatest men of all time! I recall one time when…"

"We are defending her, now tell us what you know. Please?"

"You said please." Nami was in shock.

"Well… since you used your manners…. Ok!" Belabor shook his head. "But I still don't like you, just so you know."

_Trust me, the feeling is mutual._

"OK! Here's what happened! I was doing my evening aerobic exercises, and I saw someone come out of the building!"

"…. That's it?"

"That's it."

"Who was it?"

"I'm not sure. But the figure was definitely a woman! I can tell these things, of course, because of how much experience I have. If you see someone who's tall and muscular, then it's a man! If you see someone petite and small…"

"We get it… thank you… goodbye now."

Thousand Suns. 8/19. 9:00 am.

"Get your suit on Zoro! We go to court in one hour!"

"Yeah... I know… but are we prepared?"

"Well… what do we have?"

"An autopsy report. A picture of the crime scene. That's pretty much it really."

"It's about as prepared as we were last time… we should be fine."

"I guess…"

"Wow…" Nami paused for a minute. "You… you actually do care, don't you?"

"What?" Zoro stuttered. "Well yes… but it's not what you think!"

Nami eyed him knowingly. "It's alright, pal, it happens to the best of us."

_Yeah… but why me? Why _her?

WHAAAAAAAT? THERE'S A PAIRING IN THIS FIC? Maybe… but maybe not. I'll keep you in the dark for now. May the spirit of happiness, laughter, and 'Good God, don't take your life so seriously' descend upon you and bring you joy and blissful ignorance. 


	4. Trial start

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Hello everybody. This is the part of the story where I say something to the effect of 'I don't own One Piece' or 'Meesa no own Capcom!'. But y'know what? I really, honestly, don't feel like it. Nope. No disclaimer here.

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/19. 9:45 am.

"Any luck?" asked Nami.

"None whatsoever." Zoro shook his head. "They won't extend the trial a day even if Enies Lobby fell."

"But Enies Lobby _did _fall…"

"Exactly."

"I could try a happiness punch!"

"No. Please. We'd have to change the rating."

"Ah, true enough."

"Should Hina be scared?" asked Hina, eyes wide open with worry.

"No, not at all, I've done more with less" assured Zoro.

"Yes, be afraid, be very afraid" nodded Nami.

Zoro glared at Nami. "What? We have nothing!" defended Nami.

"Lawyers are supposed to smile no matter how bad it gets" whispered Zoro.

"But you're not a lawyer, remember?"

"Well…. Yes, er… but…"

Nami smiled. "You'll be fine" she said to Hina, then walked into the courtroom.

"Hina guesses we should go in now."

"Zoro guesses that too…"

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/19/. 10:00 am.

"ALL RISE!" cried the bailiff. "The honorable Judge Alexander Bell residing!"

"They gave the judge a _name?_" whispered Nami.

"Everyone's entitled to fair treatment you know," snapped Zoro.

An elderly man with graying, wavy hair stepped into the courtroom, his long, black robes fluttering behind him like wings. "You may be seated" his voice rang throughout the courtroom. Zoro, Nami, Hina, and the prosecutor sat down.

"Where is everyone else?" asked Nami. "Aren't there usually a bunch of people who have nothing better to do with their lives then watch trials?"

"The World Government has given strict orders that only necessary parties be allowed into this courtroom" answered the judge. "They have also given strict orders not to extend the trial unless it is deemed absolutely necessary."

_Great. Now I have even _less_ of a chance to gather more evidence…_

"The defense is ready your honor" Zoro said firmly.

"…" The prosecutor remained silent.

"Is the prosecution ready?" asked Bell.

"Silence" the prosecutor replied coldly. "Do you think that I, the great Manson Mawelyr, would stand before this court unprepared?"

"I suppose not" nodded Judge Bell.

Zoro looked over Mawelyr, to get a feel for his new enemy. The man was just over five and a half feet, slender, wrinkled, and had long, frizzy hair that went down to his shoulders (think Beethoven style… or Mozart, whoever had the freaky hair). Despite his apparent frailty, however, he emanated a certain aura of power and danger.

"Will the prosecution give its opening statement?" requested Bell.

"The prosecution is willing to concede, as of now, that there are no decisive witnesses that can tie the defendant to this crime."

_And all of a sudden my job is easier._

Mawelyr smiled a wicked smile. "I know what you're thinking, Gorgon Zolo."

Zoro was not shocked; after all, everyone else in the story seemed to.

"And I didn't use that incredibly redundant mind-reading gag either, so be very afraid. You're thinking 'All of a sudden my job is easier…' and you are wrong." Mawelyr slammed the table. "While there are no decisive witnesses to this crime, there is _decisive evidence_ proving the defendant's guilt, as well as a witnessed event that makes the defendant the _only possible suspect!_"

**OBJECTION!**

"That's bull!" cried Zoro. "Nothing like that can possibly exist in this world!"

Mawelyr smiled wickedly. "We shall see, won't we? Anything else you'd like to get off your chest before we get started?"

"Well… as a matter of fact" straightened Zoro "YES! The defense would like to make it known that while the crime occurred at the _library, _the defendant was arrested in _JUDGE HAMILTON'S HOUSE!_" Zoro slammed the table. "The defense demands an explanation for this discrepancy!"

Mawelyr sighed. "Very well." He held up a piece of paper. "This is a sworn testimony from Mr. Hamilton's housekeeper that states Ms. Venkman arrived at the mansion at 9:00 on the dot. The murder occurred at 8:30, or thereabouts." Mawelyr shook his head. "Are you suggesting that it is impossible for the defendant to cross from the library to the mansion in half an hour?"

"Um… well…"

Mawelyr slammed the table, interrupting Zoro. "AS IF I CARE WHAT YOU SUGGEST!" he screamed. "The fact is, it _is_ possible, and I shall prove this fact as well!"

"You certainly have your work cut out for you, don't you Mr. Mawelyr?" commented Judge Bell.

The prosecutor shook his head. "Judge Hamilton was a close friend of mine." He slammed his fist on the back wall for effect. "NO ORDER IS TOO TALL TO APPREHEND HIS KILLER!"

_Great… a prosecutor with a grudge… just great_.

"The prosecutor would like to call, as it's first witness, Detective Tracy Spade. He will provide the decisive evidence needed to convict the defendant."

"You don't waste any time do you?" asked Zoro.

Mawelyr smiled sinisterly. "The law is reason-free from passion," he observed. "That is exactly how I intend to win this case, coldly, methodically, mechanically, and without emotion. And I shall win. I always do."

_Weren't you just going on about the judge being a personal friend?_

"DETECTIVE SPADE! UP! NOW!" Mawelyr barked, snapping Zoro out of his thoughts.

(Dramatic, organ-style courtroom music plays)

"SPADE!" Mawelyr yelled again.

"ACK!" cried Spade, reeling on the witness stand.

"You know why you are here, yes?"

"Yes…"

"THEN TESTIFY! Tell us about the evidence that proves Venkman's guilt!"

"O…ok…"

-The Evidence- (A/N: ooh, cool new feature added!)

"Well, first of all, there are the fingerprints…"

"We checked the murder weapon, and the only prints on the gun belonged to Captain Hina."

"Then there's the bloody writing on the wall of the reading room…"

"It says, very clearly, 'Venkman', which is the alias Ms. Hina was using."

"The strange bondage the witness saw only confirmed what we already knew."

-End Testimony-

_Did I hear that right?_

**HOLD IT!**

"Wait… 'Strange bondage'?" asked Zoro

"Yes…" said Spade.

_So he's not a pervert… that actually had to do with the case huh…_

"What kind of strange bondage are you talking about?"

Mawelyr cackled. "Eager, aren't you? Save that question for the next witness, Mr. Zolo."

"Oh. Ok then…" He cleared his throat and began to pace. "Mr. Spade, you said the murder weapon had Ms. Hina's fingerprints on it?"

"Yessir!"

"Are you sure it _only_ had Ms. Hina's prints on it?" he stressed.

"Don't worry, bub! We didn't make the same amateur mistakes this time; the gun _only_ has Ms. Hina's fingerprints, no questions about it!"

_Great… there goes that angle._ "Can we see the gun?" Zoro asked.

"Sure!"

Murder Weapon: Found at the scene. 42-caliber pistol. Splattered with the victims blood; bears Hina's fingerprints. Registered to Captain Hina.

"A 42-calbur pistol!!" yelled Judge Bell. "The kickback from such a weapon could dislocate one's shoulder!"

"Yes… unless you were, say, a marine, skilled at using it." Mawelyr pointed out.

"Indeed." The judge nodded. "Mr. Zolo, your cross-examination."

"Thank you, your honor. So… this is Hina's gun?" asked Zoro.

"That's right!"

"Isn't it _natural_ that her fingerprints are on it?"

"It was the most natural choice" summarized Mawelyr. "It was convenient, close at hand, and the defendant already knew how to use it with great proficiency." Mawelyr shook his head. "All perfect reasons to believe that Officer Venkman was the murderer!"

**OBJECTION!**

Zoro slammed the table. "True, at first that seems the case… but think about it. If you were a killer…"

"WOULD YOU LEAVE SUCH AN OBVIOUS CLUE AT THE CRIME SCENE!?"

"ACK!" yelled Spade. "You're right!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!** (No, it's not 'objection' in a bad Brooklyn accent, it's 'objection' in a high-pitched, banshee-like screech.)

"I believe that the police report was a bit vague, your honor," admitted Mawelyr. "DETECTIVE SPADE!" he yelled. "Where _exactly_ was the weapon found?"

"Erm… it was found on the ground outside the window, but showed no signs of being dropped" Spade reported. "We're guessing that Ms. Hina dropped it while running away from the scene."

"What do you think, does that explanation fly?" asked Nami.

**OBJECTION!** yelled Zoro, answering Nami's question.

"Detective Spade, it's obvious to me why you've been promoted to chief detective, your powers of reasoning are, indeed, amaxing."

"GEE! THANKS!" yelled Spade.

"Unfortunately…"

"THIS IS ONE SITUATION WHERE SUCH REASONING FAILS!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Well? What is it then?" asked Mawelyr calmly. "Where is the flaw in this logic?"

"It lies in Captain Hina's special _power,_ Herr Mawelyr."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"If you try getting away with an affected Euro-rock accent again I'll have you held in contempt of court!" yelled Mawelyr.

"I agree, Mr. Zolo" nodded the judge. "Less effect, more facts. What is this _power?"_

"If it would please the court, I would like to throw something at the defendant."

"What?" asked Mawelyr.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" yelled the judge. "THAT REQUEST… THAT'S JUST INSANE!!"

"It will be well worth the courts while, I assure you" assured Zoro.

"Very well…" nodded the judge. "But there had better be a point to all this…"

Zoro picked up the pistol. "I'll use the weapon itself to better prove my point… watch closely." He hurled the weapon at Hina. The pistol nailed her in the arm, passed into it partially, and was finally 'locked down' inside of it.

"WHAAAAAT?" the judge yelled, perplexed. "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?? WHY IS THE PISTOL _INSIDE_ MS. HINA'S ARM NOW??"

"It's because of Ms. Hina's unique 'devil fruit' power, your honor."

"Devil fruit…" muttered Mawelyr.

"Yes," explained Zoro. Anything that hits Ms. Hina's body with some force…"

"IS INSTANTLY TRAPPED!!"

**AHBJECSHEEN!**

"WHAT DOES THAT PROVE??" yelled Mawelyr. "No, don't bother, I'll answer for you." He shook his head. "IT PROVES _NOTHING!_"

**OBJECTION!**

"Mind your musing, Mawelyr!" yelled Zoro. "Recall what the judge commented on moments ago…"

-Flashback-

_"A 42-calbur pistol!!" yelled Judge Bell. "The kickback from such a weapon could dislocate one's shoulder!"_

-End Flashback-

"Now think about it. The kickback from this gun is immense! If Captain Hina had shot this weapon, the force of the shot would send it back towards her hand… and the gun would be _trapped_ within!"

"IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO DROP THE GUN!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Zolo… Do you honestly expect this court to accept this as a conclusive contradiction?" Mawelyr shook his head. "The nature of a devil fruit power is not fully understood by science. There is no conclusive evidence that under the circumstances of the murder that such an occurrence would happen!"

"Mr. Zolo, although you make a persuasive argument, I'm afraid I must side with Herr Mawelyr on this one" nodded the judge. "Perhaps in twenty or thirty years such an argument will have factual basis… but as of now, it does not hold up in a court of law."

"What… but…"

"I'm sorry Mr Zolo, but that is as close to real justice as we can come."

Zoro nodded. "Fine. I can accept that."

"Don't think you're fooling anyone into thinking you're noble" commented Mawelyr. "You're so obviously crushed it's not even funny."

"I… I'm NOT CRUSHED!!" defended Zoro, showing no emotion.

_Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!_

"Can we get back to cross-examining me now?" asked Tracy. "I'm beginning to develop abandonment issues…"

"Um… right…" Zoro looked at the previous dialogue. "You said that the bloody writing on the wall that said 'Venkman' was decisive evidence…"

"That's right, bub!"

"Why is that?"

"Well… it was written by the victim in his own blood!"

**OBJECTION!**

"Detective Spade!" yelled Zoro.

"THAT'S JUST CONJECTURE!!"

"Whaaaaaaaat??" yelled Spade.

"You said that the victim wrote the message… but there's no proof of that!"

"AS IT STANDS NOW, _ANYONE ELSE_ COULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!!**

"That's absurd!" chortled Mawelyr. "Are you suggesting that Venkman _herself_ wrote the incriminating message? That she had a sudden change of heart?"

"I'm not saying that at all, Mawelyr." Zoro shook his head.

"I'm saying that someone _else_ wrote it, in order to frame Hina!"

**ABJECSHEEEN!**

"Really now?" Mawelyr cackled. "That's an interesting theory… do you have proof?"

"Huh?"

"I seem to recall you objecting to a lack of proof on Detective Spades side." Mawelyr cackled again. "But as it stands now, your conjecture is just as baseless as his is!! Prove that someone was trying to frame Venkman!"

_Can I prove that?_

"Of course you can!" yelled Nami. "Think about the scene of the crime! What about the body was _unnatural?_"

"Um… well…" _Click_. "AH! I'VE GOT IT!!"

**TAKE THAT!**

"This is a picture of the crime scene." Zoro held up the photo. "I'd like the court to note something… namely the position of Judge Hamilton's _finger_.

"Let's see…" the judge murmured. "It's under the 'k' in 'Venkman', so?"

"Doesn't that seem odd?" asked Zoro. "You have to remember, Judge Hamilton has just been shot in the forehead, and he barely has any strength left! If he succeeded in writing his killers name…"

"WHY WOULD HE TAKE THE EFFORT TO MOVE HIS FINGER BACK TO THE _MIDDLE_ OF THE WORD? IT'S PREPSTEROUS!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"The prosecution is willing to concede that that is an _unusual_ action…"

_YEAH! TAKE THAT!!_

"However… I would also like to point out that just because something is _unusual_ does not mean it's _impossible_. If that were the case…"

"THEN YOUR HAIR WOULD NOT EXIST!!"

_NO! NOT THE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!_

"Once again, I am inclined to agree with Mr. Mawelyr, Mr. Zolo" the judge nodded. "The contradiction you have presented, while persuasive, is anything but conclusive. Once again, in the interest of real justice, I must dismiss your comment."

"I understand your honor." Zoro said, without emotion.

_Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!_

"I never thought I'd say this… but you need to man up, Zoro" commented Nami.

"Is it too much to ask that my inner feelings be private?"

"Yup. And besides that, there's nothing to be upset about!"

"But none of my contradictions are standing!"

"BUT!" Nami pointed out. "They are sprouting _seeds of doubt_ in the judges mind! Enough of those and you'll get a full-bloomed 'innocent'!"

"I'm not sure I like the analogy… but you have a point."

"Is the defense done with its lovers spat?" asked Mawelyr.

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" yelled Zoro and Nami, the vocal force slamming Mawelyr against the courthouse wall.

"Erm… yes, well" Mawelyr said, regaining his composure. "If the defense is done, the prosecution wishes to call its next witness!"

"Are you done, Mr. Zolo?"

_I've asked about everything I can… and I've spread quite a bit of _doubt_ in the judge's mind…_

"No further questions, your honor" nodded Zoro.

"Very well. We will take a brief break as Mr. Mawelyr prepares the next witness!" BANG! "This court is now in recess!"

Mhm. We're in full trial swing now. Best part of the story, you know it. Who's the next witness? Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? Tune in next week to find out!

(Wait, I swear we've used that joke before… aw well.)


	5. Nicole Raven

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

Amaxing: HEY! GORGON ZOLO! I've got a question for you.

Zoro: Please, just call me Zoro…

A: Right, so, I was wondering… If I claim to own One Piece and Nintendo… how much can I be sued for?

Z: Well, lets see… the total… (Eyes bulge) IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!

A: WHAT? NINE THOUSAND? IDONTOWNNOTHIN! IDONTOWNNOTHIN!!

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/19. 11:16 am.

"Isn't this the part where Detective Spade comes barging in with some piece of evidence that'll help us win?" asked Nami hopefully.

"You have to remember, we're supposed to be completely in the dark…" mused Zoro "I wouldn't be surprised if his salary is up for review based on what we already seem to know."

"Poor Spade…"

"IT'S A SHAME! A SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!" came a voice from the doorway.

Usopp bounded into the defendant's lobby, looking immensely elated and slightly drunk.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Nami screamed, making Usopp and Zoro jump. "Where have you been? You jumped ship all of a sudden and ran off when we first got here!"

"Festival… dancing festival…happy happy joy joy… freeeeeeeeeeeeee."

"YOU LEFT THE SHIP JUST TO DANCE?" yelled Zoro.

"Hey!" Usopp defended drunkenly "I can dance…if I want to… I can leave…. crew…. behind…" he straightened up "because the crew don't dance and if they don't dance then they ain't no crew of mine!" He began to do the crab.

"We can't let him out on the town like this…" sighed Nami "it's a miracle he hasn't gotten in trouble already…"

"I KNEEEEEW NO GOOD WOULD COME FROM TRAVELLING FOLK AND THEIR DANCING MACHIIIIIIINES!!" came a stereotypical old man's voice.

Zoro sighed. He glared at Usopp. "Alright Usopp, listen up. We're going to let you stay with us during the trial, but you _absolutely can't say anything_ understood?"

Usopp gave a weak nod, his eyes half-focused.

"He'll probably pass out at the first 'objection' anyway," Nami whispered.

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/19. 11:31 am.

BANG! rang the gavel.

"The trial of Captain Hina will now reconvene!" Bell's voice boomed. "Mr. Mawelyr, your next witness, if you would."

"First an introduction" said Mawelyr, gesturing with his right arm. "The first witness, Detective Tracy Spade, served one and only one purpose: to show the definitive evidence tying Officer Venkman to the crime. Do you, by chance, remember the next point on my agenda, Gorgon Zolo?"

"The next point… you said that there was an _event_ that made the defendant the only possible suspect… is that what you mean?" asked Zoro.

"Not as slow as you look" admitted Mawelyr. He slammed his arm down on the desk. "The prosecution calls Ms. Nicole Raven to the stand!"

_Nicole Raven? I have a bad feeling about this…_

The witness stood at the stand, calmly playing with her raven colored hair.

"Name and occupation, if you will my dear" Mawelyr motioned.

"Nicole Raven, traveler" said Robin.

_Great… I have to cross-examine Robin… this'll be a _joy.

"You know you're happy to see her, admit it" prodded Nami.

"Will you cut that out?" snapped Zoro "I'm getting tired of defending myself!"

"Just as long as you don't get tired of defending our client…"

"You set that up on purpose, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"Sly, conniving, witch-woman…"

"NAMI-SAN IS NOT A WITCH-WOMAN!!" came Sanji's voice from afar.

Zoro sighed. "Does he have to say that _every time_ the word 'witch-woman' is said?"

"STOP SAYING WITCH-WOMAAAAAN!!" replied Sanji's distant voice.

"Normalcy, normalcy, Kitetsu III for normalcy."

"You do know that 'normalcy' isn't really a word, right?"

"CAN WE GET BACK TO THE TRIAL?"

"Hina agrees; Hina doesn't like the suspense."

"If we're all done, will the witness please testify as to what she saw the night of the crime?" Judge Bell asked hopefully.

"Of course, your honor" Mawelyr said submissively. "The next person to say something off-topic gets an 'ahbjecsheeen' right down the ear."

_It's so nice to share the courtroom with such nice, non-violent people._

"Yourself included" added Nami.

**ABJECSHEEEN!**

"Ow… my eardrum…"

Robin gave a light chuckle, and Nami threw her a dirty look. She took a breath, and began her testimony.

-What I saw-

"I was sitting on the fourth floor of the library, across from the reading room."

"I heard a shot, and I snapped up from my book to see where it had come from."

"I saw two people, one on the floor, and one hunched over the other."

"The person on the floor was, of course, Judge Hamilton."

"The other person was wearing a long cloak with a hood, so I couldn't tell who they were."

"I pulled the alarm inside the reading room, and the killer broke the window and lowered him/herself out the window with a rope."

-End Testimony-

"Wait… that's it?" asked Zoro. "How does that prove anything?"

"In due time Mr. Zolo, in due time" tutted Mawelyr, wagging his right index winger. "This is merely to establish the witness' presence at the scene of the crime."

"Do you require a cross-examination?" asked Bell.

_I don't have much to work with, so I'd better take advantage of everything I've given._

"The defense would like to cross-examine, your honor" nodded Zoro.

"Very well, you may begin."

"Rob…er…Ms. Raven. The cloaked figure, did you by any chance see any identifying features at all?"

Robin thought. "Well… it was a shorter person, on the thin side, with long hair. From what I saw, I'm pretty sure it was a woman."

"Did you see Mr. Hamilton write anything?"

Robin paused unnaturally. "I saw his arm moving, but from where I was, I couldn't tell what was being written."

"Proof enough for you?" leered Mawelyr.

_Crap… this isn't good…_

"Ms. Raven… the… alarm, you pulled."

"Yes?"

"Where exactly was it located?"

"In the reading room; the crime scene, in other words."

**OBJECTION!**

Usopp passed out.

"Second objection… whichever…" muttered Nami.

"I'm sorry Ms. Raven…" Zoro began.

"BUT THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!"

BANG! "Mr. Zolo! Explain yourself!" yelled Bell.

"I'd like the court to look at the crime scene photo again…" he held it up "I'd like you to pay particular attention to the _pool of blood_ on the ground."

"What's strange about it?" asked Bell, perplexed.

"Nothing" smiled Zoro. "And that is exactly what is so strange! If Ms. Raven had entered the room to pull the alarm as she stated…"

"HER FOOTPRINTS WOULD APPEAR IN THE BLOOD!"

Robin was unfazed. She lifted her eyebrows and looked at Zoro with amusement, but said nothing.

"Why, you're absolutely right!" Judge Bell boomed, "That discredits this entire testimony!!"

_I'm going to get away with it! I'm going to get a way with it!_

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

_Double crap on a wraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!_

"I applaud you, Mr. Zolo" smirked Mawelyr. "In a normal court of law, such a contradiction _would_ be enough to discredit a witness. However…"

"THIS IS NOT A NORMAL COURT OF LAW!"

BANG! BANG! "Mr. Mawelyr! What do you mean?"

"If it would please the court" cackled Mawelyr "I would like to perform a 'demonstration' quite similar to the one Mr. Zolo performed minutes ago."

"You want to throw something at the witness?" asked Bell, confused. "I'm not sure how I feel about that!"

"No no, nothing like that" Mawelyr assured "I merely wish to give Mr. Zolo… _antlers_."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" asked Bell. "What on earth are you…"

But his question was stopped short. A pair of hands had sprouted from Zoro's head, giving him the appearance of having two 'antlers'.

Robin snapped her fingers, and the hands disappeared. "With my 'Hana-Hana' powers, I can make hands appear wherever I have line of sight" she explained. "I pulled the alarm that way, it was much quicker than getting out of my seat."

"You knew that" Nami whispered to Zoro.

"I was hoping nobody else did" Zoro whispered back.

"It's people like you who give lawyers a bad name" Nami scolded.

**HOLD IT!**

Judge Bell's face went white. "The 'Hana-Hana' fruit?" His face became stern. "ISN'T THAT THE FRUIT THAT THE PIRATE NICO ROBIN ATE?? THAT MEANS THIS WITNESS IS NOTHING BUT A CRIMINAL!!"

_Crap-ay Diem!_

**OB…**

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"I was afraid this might happen." Mawelyr leaned his forehead on his right arm. "While it is true that Nico Robin ate the Hana-Hana fruit, I assure you that this witness is _not her_."

"What?" asked the judge. "How?"

"Ms. Raven and Ms. Robin _both _ate the Hana-Hana fruit, and both gained the powers from that fruit!"

**OBJECTION!**

"That contradicts scientific findings!" roared Judge Bell. "It has been proven that only one of each devil fruit exists! Therefore…"

"WHAT YOU HAVE SUGGESTED IS IMPOSSIBLE!!"

"Can I say something…?" asked Zoro weakly.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"You are well informed, your honor" conceded Mawelyr. "It is true that only one of each type of devil fruit exists. However, if more than one person were to eat from the _same fruit_" he paused for effect "than they would _both_ gain the consequent powers." He held up a slip of paper. "I'd like to present this list I received from the Nitonnec Devil Fruit registrar to prove my point."

Judge Bell read the list carefully, and a mortified look came over his face. "Very well, accepted into evidence."

Devil Fruit registrar's list:

Lady Allure: Hot-Hot fruit.

Graham Bell: Rope-Rope fruit

Eugene Einstein: Brain-Brain fruit

Eustace Einstein: Brain-Brain fruit

Felix O'Hara: Luck-Luck fruit

Daz Bones: Supa-Supa fruit

_Why is it that Daz Bones always seems to make a cameo in my stories?_

"Maybe it's implied that you have a man-crush on him?" offered Nami.

"I liked it better when you were joking that I liked Robin" Zoro replied. Robin gave a quick, surprised glance over toward the defense's bench, and Zoro smacked his head.

"I knew you'd come round." Nami seem pleased with herself.

"Now that that matter has been settled…" Mawelyr began "it is time for the witness to testify about _that event_, the event that will conclusively 'tie' Ms. Venkman to the crime."

_I don't like how he said tie…_

"Speaking of ties, you need to get a new one, pal," commented Nami, pointing at the orange and brown polka dotted monstrosity around Zoro's neck.

"I'll ignore that and just let the testimony start."

-'That event'-

"It happened shortly after the killer had left the room."

"You see; Judge Hamilton was ensnared by some sort of binding material."

"When the killer was out of the room, however, the material around his legs simply… _disappeared_.

"I can only assume that the material came from Ms. Hina's 'Jail-Jail', and she made them vanish so she would not be suspected…"

"She obviously couldn't have known that the victim wrote her name…"

-End Testimony-

"And you claim you saw all of this from a room in the library?" asked Zoro, preparing to scream.

"Yes…"

**OBJECTION!**

"THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!"

BANG! "Mr. Barrister! Refrain from screaming at the witness and explain what you mean!"

"Mr… who?" asked Zoro. Mawelyr cringed visibly.

"OH! Sorry… Mr. Zolo, if you would."

"Just moments ago," began Zoro "Ms. Raven testified, truthfully, that 'from where she was, she could not tell what was being written' or something to that effect. But she also just testified that 'Ms. Hina could not have known that the victim wrote her name'." He slammed the desk. "THAT IS A CLEAR CONTRADICTION!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

Mawelyr pointed his right arm accusingly at Zoro. "There is no contradiction here!" he asserted, "the witness merely heard what had been written elsewhere! She only testified that _at the time_ she did not know what was being written!"

**OBJECTION!**

"Unfortunately, that's not possible!" asserted Zoro. "In the words of Detective Tracy Spade…"

-Flashback-

_"You see…" Spade whispered "The victim being a judge, the prime suspect being a marine… it's not a good image for the World Government to have, is it?"_

_"They're hushing it up to save face?" asked Nami, outraged. "That's not fair!"_

-End Flashback-

"Alright… it was actually my partner Reno's words, but the truth still remains…"

"NOONE OUTSIDE THIS COURTROOM KNOWS THE DETAILS OF THIS CRIME!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"This changes nothing!" implored Mawelyr. "The witness has no reason to lie about where she was, and besides that, it does not change what she saw!"

"Actually, it does" said Nami, quietly.

"Hm?" asked Mawelyr, mockingly "I'm sorry, did a woman just try to say something in this courtroom?"

"Although I don't approve of Mr. Mawelyr's tone, he does have a point" agreed Judge Bell. "As the law stands right now, women may not raise their voices…"

**OBJECTION!**

Zoro slammed the desk. "SILENCE!" he yelled, "SHE'S MY PARTNER, AND SHE _WILL BE HEARD!_"

"Mr. Zolo…" the judge reprimanded, shocked "your outburst right now…" tears sprung into his eyes. "IT'S SO MOVING HOW YOU PROTECT THE ONE YOU LOOOOOOVE!!"

**OBJECTION!**

"I… don't love her, your honor…"

"Either way… you may speak, little lady." The judge said in his best western accent.

"Thanks" Nami said, nudging Zoro. "Um… right…I'd… I'd like everyone to look at the crime scene photo!" she said, obviously nervous at the sudden attention.

_Please don't screw up, please don't screw up, please don't screw up…_

"That _again?_" Mawelyr sighed. "How many times are we going to drag this lithograph out?"

"AS MUCH AS I WANT TO!" yelled Nami.

Silence. Usopp hiccupped.

"Um… nice try, but your wording… kind of made you sound like a spoiled brat…" advised Zoro.

"Sorry… anyway, just look at the picture!" She pointed at Judge Hamilton's body. "From where Ms. Raven claims to have been sitting in the library, only the victim's arms can be seen!"

"And…?" Mawelyr motioned with his right hand.

"BUT MS. RAVEN JUST TESTIFIED THAT THE CONSTRAINMENTS AROUND MR. HAMILTON'S _LEGS_ DISAPPEARED!"

Silence. Usopp hiccupped again.

"Again… nice try… but your timing was a bit off… and I'm not sure 'constrainment' is a word…" whispered Zoro.

"What do you think that means, Fraulein?" asked Bell, changing to an affected Euro-rock accent.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"What did I say about Euro-rock accents?" snapped Mawelyr. "Are you willing to hold yourself in contempt of court, your honor?"

"Erm… well, no, I suppose not," Bell admitted. "Continue, Ms. Tangy."

"I'm not saying that Ms. Raven is lying on the point that she saw the victim's legs. But that does mean that her _perspective_ changed." Nami took a breath.

"IT MEANS THAT SHE VIEWED THE CRIME THROUGH THE _WINDOW_ THAT THE KILLER ESCAPED THROUGH!!"

She looked over at Zoro. He smiled and gave a thumbs-up sign.

_Yeah! EAT THAT!_ Nami thought.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?" yelled Mawelyr. "That's… THAT'S LUDICROUS!!" He held up a map of the area.

S(L)(G) \R\ssssssJsss  
--.--.--.--/B:.--.--.--.--.: C  
SSSSSS\R\ :Nitonnec.:  
(A)S(A)S/R:square...:  
SSSSSS.\B\:ssssssss:

Key: L: Library G: Gym A: Apartments J: Judge's house C: Courthouse R: River

B: Bridge S/s: empty space Path marked by --: .87 miles. :Boundaries of Nitonnec Square

(A/N:ARGH! THIS LOOKED SO GOOD ON MICROSOFT WOOOOOOOORD!!…)

"AS THIS MAP SOMEWHAT CLEARLY SHOWS…" Mawelyr explained "THE READING ROOM WINDOW FACES A BRICK WALL!! IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO LOOK IN FROM THERE!!"

**OBJECTION!**

Nami stood tall, her finger outstretched. "There is a place."

"What?" choked Mawelyr, clenching his right fist.

"In fact, I was just in such a place this morning!" Nami continued. THE READING ROOM CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN FROM THE WEIGHT-ROOM IN NITONNEC TOTAL FITNESS!

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Witness!" yelled Mawelyr. "Is…IS THE TRUE?"

_I wonder why Mawelyr is making such a big deal about this… must be a perfectionist._

Robin looked away, somewhat embarrassed. "Well… yes… it is true."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" screamed Mawelyr.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" screamed Judge Bell. "WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT??"

"Well…" admitted Robin "I… I didn't want anybody on my ship to know that I was concerned about my weight… that's why." She smiled mysteriously.

"You… you're kidding" hoped Zoro, mouth agape.

"Nope."

"That's… THAT'S JUST INSANE!!" Zoro placed his head in his hands, unbelieving. "You… YOU DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT!!" he yelled, pointer finger outstretched.

"Oh." Robin smiled. "Is that what you think, Mr. Attorney?"

"Um… well…"

"It's certainly nice to be complimented… by you of all people."

"Hey! Wait! I didn't…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"If we could stop this shameless flirting…" Mawelyr wagged his right finger disapprovingly "I would like an explanation from the pretty lady over there as to _why any of this matters._"

_You know that it matters Mawelyr! Otherwise you wouldn't be so upset!_

Nami was not to be intimidated. "As I said before, I was at Nitonnec Total fitness just this morning! The bloody writing can clearly be seen! That means that Ms. Raven can tell us, for sure, _who actually wrote it!_" She smiled, arms crossed triumphantly. "Well witness? Will you testify as to what you saw?"

"I suppose I have nothing to hide now," Robin smiled, "it was, indeed, Mr. Hamilton who wrote the name."

Nami's look of triumph fell fast. "Wha… what? Really?" she asked weakly.

"Yup."

"The… the whole thing?"

"Well, to be frank, the killer's body was in the way, so I only saw Mr. Hamilton write the last three letters of the word."

"Wait, WHAAAAAAAT?" interjected Zoro. "Ms. Raven, are you sure about that? The killer was _in the room_ when Mr. Hamilton wrote the name?"

"Yes…" said Robin meekly.

Zoro slammed the desk with one hand. "THAT'S LIKE CHEWBACCA LIVING ON ENDOR!" he screamed, "IT DOES NOT! MAKE! SENSE! Why would a wookie…er I mean, a killer, leave the room without first wiping away the most incriminating piece of evidence?"

"THAT! DOES NOT! MAKE! SENSE!"

"It is odd…" Robin mused "after all, the killer only turned to face the window _after_ the name was completely written…"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??' yelled Bell. "THAT! THAT'S JUST INSAAAAAAANE!!"

"JUDGE BELL!" yelled Zoro. "THIS CONTRADICTION CLEARLY SHOWS…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Clearly shows _what_ Mr. Zolo?" Mawelyr tutted.

"Well… it show that Ms. Hina isn't the killer…"

"How?"

"Well… if she was really the killer, her actions would be extremely strange…"

**ABJECSHEEEN!**

"Do I have to repeat myself?" Mawelyr asked, annoyed "whether or not something is strange does not serve as a conclusive contradiction! Moreover, the defense has yet to poke a hole in the _most important part_ of this testimony!"

"What?" Zoro breathed.

"Do you remember what this testimony is for?" Mawelyr asked condescendingly "this testimony exists _solely_ to prove the existence of an _event…_"

"AN EVENT THAT INEXTRICABLY TIES OFFICER VENKMAN TO THIS CRIME!"

"URK!" yelled Zoro, hunching over.

"Mr. Zolo? Ms. Tangy?" asked the judge. "Can either of you counter this argument? That the event in question actually took place?"

"N-no… your honor" Zoro admitted, "At this time, I am not prepared to counter this argument. But…" he suggested, "if you would be willing to extend the trial, I'm sure…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"DON'T FORGET!" yelled Mawelyr "We are under strictest orders from the World Government only to extend the trial _if absolutely necessary!_" He smashed his right fist into the wall behind him. "AS IT STANDS NOW, THERE IS NO REASONABLE DOUBT THAT THE MURDERER WAS THE DEFENDANT!!"

"Once again" nodded Judge Bell "while I do not approve of Mr. Mawelyr's tone, he makes a valid point. This trial will not be delayed unless such reasonable doubt is proven!"

_Just a little more… a little more doubt and I've got at least another day!_

"Mr. Mawelyr!" ordered Bell. "I believe you have one final witness?"

Mawelyr cackled. "Yes… I do."

"AND THIS WITNESS WILL BE THE FINAL NAIL IN THE DEFENDANT'S COFFIN!"

"Bring it" Zoro said, getting serious.

"Oh, I plan to" Mawelyr responded. "PREPARE TO BE TROUNCED GORGON ZOLO!"

To be continued…

('That's all for today' music plays)

Save cleared stage data up to this point?

YES NO

Saving….

I love it when the story starts to write itself! It makes my job so much easier.


	6. Mawelyr's breakdown

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

Previously on Gorgon Zolo: Ace Attorney…

"IIIIIII HAVE BEEN MUUUUUURDEEEERED!" howled Usopp's ghost "and the killer was FRAAAAAAAAAANKYYYYYYYYY!!"

"Amaxing owns One Piece and Nintendo?" yelled Zoro from the defense's bench.

"THAT! DOES NOT! MAKE! SENSE!"

"IIIIIII HAVE BEEN MUUUUUURDEEEERED!" howled Usopp's ghost "and the killer was NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIII!!"

"Don't leave me, Sanji!" yelled Hachi.

"I have to my octopus friend" Sanji cried, "It's the only way!"

"BUT I LOVE YOU!!" Hachi screamed.

"IIIIIII HAVE BEEN MUUUUUURDEEEERED!" howled Usopp's ghost "and the killer was LUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFYYYYYYY!"

"NO. FING. WAY" said Robin sternly.

"Ok, I lied about that one" Usopp's ghost admitted.

"PREPARE TO BE TROUNCED GORGON ZOLO!!" screamed Mawelyr.

"IIIIIII HAVE BEEN MUUUUUURDEEEERED!" howled Zoro "BY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU NO GOOD FANFICTION WRITEEEEERS!!"

…and now the thrilling conclusion.

Wait, did any of that stuff actually happen?

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/19. 1:15 pm.

The afternoon sun shone in through the old, dilapidated windows of the courthouse. Zoro stood, tensed, waiting for the final witness to be called. Usopp lay under the defense's bench in a drunken sleep. Nami crossed her arms nervously. Hina just sat there, apathetic.

"I think she's emotionally broken down," whispered Nami.

"If we don't end this trial soon she might never fully recover," agreed Zoro.

"Puuuuuuuuuuuuddiiiiiiiiiiing" sang Usopp, happily dreaming the day away.

"Shall we end this, Gorgon Zolo?" cackled Mawelyr. "The prosecution calls its final witness to the stand!"

The witness stood hunched over at the stand, his head down as if he wished not to be recognized.

"Name. Occupation" Mawelyr said mechanically.

"Geo-Geoffrey Belabor. Retired." Belabor said softly and succinctly.

_…? What's up with Belabor? Why's he so quiet all of a sudden?_

The judge stared forward for a minute, then snapped back to reality. "Erm… yes, Mr… Belabor?"

"Yes… yes your honor."

"Could you testify… um… about… what you came here to testify?" Bell asked.

"It won't take longer than thirty minutes, I swear" Belabor replied sheepishly.

_Mawelyr must have threatened him or something… that's _got_ to be it. No force on this earth is powerful enough to stop that man from rambling…_

-The night of the crime-

"I was doing my evening aerobics outside my apartment."

"Suddenly, I heard a 'BANG' and looked toward the library."

"About ten seconds later, I saw a slender figure run out from the alley between the library and the gym."

"She… well, the person _looked_ like a woman… she ran towards the bridge."

"There weren't many other people around that night… so she had a pretty much unobstructed path."

-End Testimony-

"A very succinct, if not meek, testimony" nodded Judge Bell.

"And one that proves quite nicely the ability of Ms. Venkman to flee to the judge's house within half an hour" added Mawelyr.

**OBJECTION!**

"I… I call your bluff!" yelled Zoro. "How does this testimony prove that Ms. Hina had enough time to escape to the judge's house?"

Mawelyr smirked. "Recall the maid's sworn testimony."

-Flashback-

_"This is a sworn testimony from Mr. Hamilton's housekeeper that states Ms. Venkman arrived at the mansion at 9:00 on the dot."_

-End Flashback-

"This testimony has proven two things. One, that the killer jumped out the window a mere _ten seconds_ after the crime was committed; and two, that there were _no obstructions_ to Ms. Venkman's path!" He gestured dramatically with his right hand, and pulled a slip of paper from his robes. "I also have here the results of a scientific test, performed by my request."

Bell looked over the slip of paper. "You truly leave no stone unturned, Mr. Mawelyr" he nodded. "I can see now why you're so close to completing a triathlon."

_A what?_

Survey says: 8/10. Fifty random citizens were paid to run one mile. (Individual data for each citizen given) Average time to cover distance: 22.47 minutes.

"As you can see here, the average person can run this distance in just over twenty minutes! Add to that the fact that there were no obstructions and the killer left the scene immediately…" Mawelyr smirked "and the result is an airtight case."

"Mr. Zolo" Bell said seriously "as it stands now, I am prepared to pass judgment on the defendant. Unless this next-cross examination yields a conclusive contradiction" he looked up sternly "your client will be found guilty. Do you understand?"

"Yes your honor, I understand." Zoro took a deep breath and began to question the witness. "Mr. Belabor, you said that the defendant ran towards 'the bridge'."

"Yes…"

"Could you clarify which one? I see two here on the map…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Come Mr. Zolo, use your common sense" interrupted Mawelyr. "The witness was standing in front of the apartment complex. From his position, he could _only see the north bridge!_"

"Witness? Is that true?" asked Zoro.

Belabor said nothing, but looked confused.

"O….k…How long did it take the killer to reach the bridge?" asked Zoro.

"Oh… maybe… a little less than ten seconds?"

**OBJECTION!**

"Mr. Belabor…" Zoro began "can you define for me what a 'second' is?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Don't bother witness, I'll answer the foolish fool" Mawelyr cleared his throat. "Officially, a second is the duration of 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the cesium 133 atom." He smirked.

"Mr. Zolo…" began Judge Bell "what exactly are you objecting to? These cesium atom things?"

"Not at all your honor…" Zoro began.

"I AM OBJECTING TO THE _LENGTH_ OF A SECOND!!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?" yelled the judge.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"THAT'S MADNESS!" yelled Mawelyr "A SECOND IS A CONSTANT! IT NEVER, _EVER_ CHANGES! YOU CAN'T OBJECT TO THAT!"

**OBJECTION!**

"You think too little of me, Mawelyr" remarked Zoro, his arms crossed "I'm not stupid enough to object to the standard definition of a second…"

"I OBJECT TO THE _WITNESS'S _DEFINITION OF A SECOND!"

"MR. ZOLO!" yelled the judge "EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

Zoro began his explanation. "This morning, when I went to speak to Mr. Belabor, he said something quite interesting…"

-Flashback-

_Knock knock knock!_

"_I'm coming, jeez, can't you wait thirty minutes?"_

-End Flashback-

"YET! He opened up the door almost _immediately_ afterwards! Not only that, but just minutes ago in this very courtroom…"

-Flashback-

_"Could you testify… um… about… what you came here to testify?" Bell asked._

_"It won't take longer than thirty minutes, I swear" Belabor replied sheepishly._

-End Flashback-

"Yet his testimony barely took a minute of our time!" Zoro asserted. "Therefore, I ask again…"

"WITNESS!! WHAT IS A 'SECOND'?"

"Well…" Belabor began "A second… is the second longest unit of time, right? 'Minute' is the shortest, because it means small, than second is the second biggest, than hour…"

There was a long silence.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" screamed Mawelyr, Zoro, and Bell at the same time.

"THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!" screamed Zoro. "THAT MEANS THAT INSTEAD OF HALF AN HOUR, THE KILLER ONLY HAD _TWENTY MINUTES_ TO REACH THE JUDGE'S HOUSE!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

Mawelyr slammed the table with his right fist. "YET! IT CHANGES NOTHING! I marked the distance between the house and the library before entering this courtroom; it is only .87 miles! The time it took an average person to complete a _full_ mile was barely over twenty minutes! ALSO! Officer Venkman is a marine!"

"SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO RUN FASTER THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! ORDER!" screamed Bell. "Mr. Zolo, while this finding does indeed cast considerable doubt on the defendant's ability to cross town in the required time…" he shook his head "that alone does not qualify as a conclusive contradiction."

"And you know what that means" Mawelyr seethed "this trial… is over."

**OBJECTION!**

"I'M NOT DONE YET!" hollered Zoro. "I would like to return to my cross-examination."

Judge Bell nodded. "Very well, Mr. Zolo, you may continue."

_I've got a hunch that Belabor's hiding more than ineptitude for distinguishing time intervals… I just hope I'm right!_

Zoro let out a large breath. "Mr. Belabor… the apartment you witnessed the crime from sits directly across from the library, correct?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Then, you were able to see the _chain_ that the killer used to lower him/herself down from the window?"

"Oh yes!" Belabor brightened. "The chain! Of course! I remember that well!"

**GOTCHA!**

Zoro shuddered. Being able to fool someone so easily meant he really _was _becoming a lawyer. "Mr. Belabor… if you had truly seen the crime from where you claim…"

"YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED THE BLATANT LIE I JUST TOLD!"

"WHAT?" screamed Belabor. "You… you… WHIPPERSNAPPER!"

"Mr. Zolo?" asked Bell. "What lie did you tell, exactly?"

"Recall Ms. Raven's testimony…"

-Flashback-

"_I pulled the alarm inside the reading room, and the killer lowered him/herself out the window with a rope."_

-End Flashback-

"Now think about the situation! Mr. Belabor claims to have been standing directly across the street! His eyes are no doubt fixated on where the shot came from. YET! He can not tell us what the killer used to lower him/herself down from the window!"

"STRANGE, CONSIDERING THAT HE CLAIMS TO HAVE BEEN CLOSE ENOUGH TO _WALK INTO_ THE ALLEY IF HE WANTED TO!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"THE WITNESS NEVER CLAIMED THAT!" Mawelyr objected weakly.

"But the fact still remains that, as of his current testimony, such a statement would be true" Zoro remarked matter-of-factly.

"AAGH!" yelled Mawelyr, gripping his left shoulder and wincing.

"Now Mr. Belabor….'

"TELL THE TRUTH! WHERE DID YOU WITNESS THE CRIME FROM?"

Belabor was silent for a minute (or second, according to him) then he told all "The north bridge…" he muttered.

"Mr. Belabor…" the judge asked, "Why would you lie about something like that?"

Belabor remained silent, though he slumped over visibly.

_MAWELYR! You cheat! You _did_ threaten him!_

"So are we to assume that the killer ran right by you?" asked Zoro quickly.

Mawelyr quickly took a sharp breath, but Belabor spoke first.

"No…" he said, confused "No, the killer never got near me. I would have tackled her if she had!"

There was silence. Mawelyr shook, as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"So we are to assume" Zoro beamed "that the killer used the _south_ bridge?"

"Well, yes! I guess that's about right!" Belabor responded, looking happy that all the confusion was cleared up.

"W-W-WHAAAAAAT?" yelled Bell. "That… THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

"Indeed, it does your honor," agreed Zoro. "While the distance marked on the map is, as Mr. Mawelyr has said, only .87 miles…" he slammed the desk "THAT IS ASSUMING THAT THE KILLER USED THE _NORTH BRIDGE!_ If the killer used the south bridge, the distance is significantly longer!"

**AHBJECSHEEN!**

"YES! That is true!" screamed Mawelyr. "But it only increases the distance by a small amount! At most, the distance becomes 1.05 miles!"

**OBJECTION!**

"DO YOU HAVE PROOF OF THAT, OR IS THAT JUST YOU GRASPING?" demanded Zoro.

_There's no way that's true!_

"It's true," nodded the judge.

"WHAAAAT?" yelled Zoro. "YOUR HONOR, You… YOU'RE KIDDING ME!! You honestly haven't been taken in by…"

"No, I haven't" Bell shook his head "but I happen to run that route everyday as part of my exercise routine. It is little more than a mile."

"Saves me the trouble of pulling out another survey" Mawelyr remarked, tucking another piece of paper inside his robes. "And it also proves, beyond the shadow of a doubt…" he pointed with his right index finger

"THAT THE DEFENDANT HAD AMPLE TIME TO REACH THE JUDGE'S HOUSE!"

**MANLY TEARFUL OBJECTION DAAAAAAAAAANCE!**

Bell: Who?

Mawelyr: What the…?

Nami: ACK!

Zoro: Wait a…

"MANSON MAWELYYYYYYYYYR! THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP WILL DEFEAT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!" screamed Usopp.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

The vocal force knocked Usopp off his feet. "WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?" Mawelyr screamed "I SEEM TO RECALL ONLY _ONE_ DEFENSE ATTORNEY BEING HIRED… YET THIS IS THE THIRD PERSON TO OBJECT!"

"You can't stop the truth!" replied Usopp. "Especially not when it comes form the lips of the GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!"

"What truth is this?" asked Judge Bell. "AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT KIND OF CAPTAIN ARE YOU??"

_Straighten out your priorities, your honor!_

"Last night… smack dab in the middle of Nitonnec Square…" Usopp began "THE GREATEST DANCE PARTY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD WAS HELD!! Hundreds and hundreds of people, filling the entire square in one solid amoeba of pure dancing joy!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE CASE AT HAND??"

**OBJECTION!**

"EVERYTHING!" yelled Zoro, finally seeing his way out. "If the killer fled by means of the south bridge, the killer would have to make his way through hundreds of dancing people!"

"THE TIME IT WOULD TAKE TO REACH THE JUDGE'S HOUSE WOULD INCREASE SUBSTANTIALLY!"

"Argh…. Ugh…" twitched Mawelyr. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He slammed his right fist on the bench repeatedly.

-

-

-

Judge Bell waited for things to settle down. "That contradiction" he smiled "is conclusive, Mr. Zolo."

"Yes, thank you, your honor." Zoro nodded.

"Quite a shock for you isn't it, Mr. Mawelyr?" Bell laughed. "Why the only person ever to stop you from getting a 'guilty' in one day was…"

"DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME!" yelled Mawelyr, in a shriek even more high-pitched and banshee-like than usual. "That man… that man haunts me to this day!"

Bell nodded uneasily. "Very well then, Mr. Mawelyr."

_Whoa! What kind of man could rattle Mawelyr like that? Besides me, I mean._

The judge cleared his throat. "This court is now adjourned, to reconvene tomorrow at 11:00 am!" He slammed his gavel. "That is all!"

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/19. 2:13 pm.

"Did you see Mawelyr?" asked Nami, her eyes bugging unnaturally from her skull. "He looked like he was ready to have a heart-attack and die!"

"I know…" mused Zoro "we haven't known him very long but… that just doesn't seem _normal_ for him…"

"You can thank me later!" yelled Usopp, elated with his 'victory'.

"Hina is impressed."

The three turned around to view Zoro's client.

"You are… a good man… Roronoa Zoro" Hina smiled "Hina can see now why the Straw Hats are so strong."

"What about me?" asked Usopp. "I practically won the entire trial in there!"

"You brag too much" Hina said coldly. Usopp fell over in embarrassment.

"Perhaps…" Hina continued, "You can visit Hina later, yes?"

"Umm… sure." Zoro placed a hand behind his head. "I have to talk to you more about the case anyway."

"GET AWAY FROM HER, STRAW HAT!" came a voice from the doorway.

Zoro whipped around and…

Yup, that's the end of the chapter. Can't have too much happen at once. Have to give you a chance to read, reread, re-reread, look for vital clues, and write rave reviews. Or not, it's your call.


	7. Investigation, and Gaimon Cameo

Disclaimer:

The judge slammed his gavel.

"The court has seen evidence from both sides, and has yet to reach a decisive conclusion" he explained.

"As already stated in my closing statement" Mawelyr began "all the evidence, despite its lack of decisiveness, points to the same thing!"

"AMAXING OWNS BOTH ONE PIECE AND NINTENDO!"

The judge nodded. "Yes, that would seem to be the case. Mr. Zolo? Your closing statement?"

Zoro nodded, and began.

"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Mr. Mawelyr would certainly _want_ you to believe that Amaxing owns One Piece and Nintendo. And they make a good case" he conceded" hell, I was almost convinced myself. But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one more thing I want you to think about."

Zoro held up a picture of a man with and Afro stuck in a treasure chest.

"This is Gaimon. Gaimon is a pirate, from some random island. Yet Gaimon _lives_ on an island full of pig-lions and snake-rabbits! Now think about it…"

"THAT! DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!"

The courtroom buzzed with excitement.

BANG! BANG! BANG! "MR. ZOLO!" yelled Bell "EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

Zoro smiled. He had them eating out of the palm of his hand. He continued. "Why would a pirate, a TWO-FOOT TALL PIRATE, want to live on an island with a bunch of freaky animals?"

"THAT! DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! But more importantly, what does that have to do with this case?" Zoro shook his head. "Nothing. It has nothing to do with this case, IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!"

"Look at me, I'm a lawyer representing Eiichero Oda and a _major_ gaming company, and I'm talking about FREAKING GAIMON! Does that make sense? NO! IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!" He pointed his index finger. "NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE! And so you have to think, when you're in that jury room, deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? Ladies and gentleman of this supposed jury, IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!" He slammed his fist on the desk. "If Gaimon lives with pig-lions, you must acquit!" He sagged his head. "The defense rests."

You all knew it was coming eventually. It's just too absurd to put in a story, that's all.

And now to our originally scheduled program:

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/19. Five seconds before this chapter begins.

"GET AWAY FROM HER, STRAW HAT!" came a voice from the doorway.

Zoro whipped around and…

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/19. 2:13 pm.

… was assaulted by the overwhelming presence of one Commodore Smoker. He had no less than four cigars miraculously staying inside of his mouth, which was wide open in a furious yell. He made a move to attack Zoro, but Hina intervened.

"Smoker! Stop! It's not what you think!" she yelled.

_Yeah… that makes it sound _**so**_ much better…_

"WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?" Smoker yelled. "HONEST MARINES ARE CHARGED WITH MURDER, PIRATES RUN FREE, AND…"

"SHHHHHHH!" hushed Hina. "You're going to ruin Hina's chances of being acquitted!"

"What…?" Smoker was obviously confused.

"This man… is Hina's defense attorney."

Smoker said nothing. He just stared menacingly at Zoro, not knowing whether to arrest him, kill him, or simply maul him.

"Um… hi" said Zoro, stretching out one hand to shake while slowly reaching for a sword with the other, "I'm Gorgon Zolo… Ace Attorney."

"Gorgon… Zolo?" Smoker's face shone with recognition, and he searched his mind for where he had heard the name before.

"You're… a defense attorney?" He finally asked.

"Well…" began Zoro.

"OF COURSE HE IS!" defended Nami "WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE IN COURT?"  
"Then where's your badge?" Smoker asked, matter-of-factly.

"Badge?" asked Zoro "You need a badge to be a defense attorney?"

"I suppose not…" Smoker conceded "but you _have_ passed the bar, right?"

Silence.

"YOU! YOU'RE A FAKE!!" Smoker screamed, "WHY, I OUGHTA…"

"SMOKER!" yelled Hina. "STOP! This man got Hina an extension…"

"SO?" Smoker bellowed, pulling back an arm to throttle Zoro.

"…against Manson Mawelyr" she finished.

Smoker's arm stopped mid-throttle. He eyed Zoro warily. "You are Roronoa Zoro, are you not?" he asked.

"Yes" Zoro nodded, deeming it best not to lie.

"But you are also… Gorgon Zolo?"

"Yes."

"And you just stopped Manson Mawelyr from getting a guilty verdict in one day?"

"Yes."

_I hate this! I feel like a broken record… I feel like I'm repeating myself for no reason… I never got the impression that Smoker could be this slow!_

Smoker stood for a minute, his eyes closed; one could see the gears turning in his mind. He opened his eyes. "You two will have lunch at my expense, and you will report immediately to my ship when you are finished, understood?"

"Hey! Wait!" started Zoro "since when do you…"

"FREE LUNCH?" cheered Nami "Sounds great to us, see you later Smoky!" She dragged Zoro out of the room.

"Hey! No! Stop! **OBJECTION! OBJECTION! **___I_ _said_ **OBJECTION!** You're supposed to quake in fear and be moved by every word! **OBJECTION!**"

_Chez Nitonnec_. 8/19. 2:35 pm.

"Why are we doing what he says?" asked Zoro. "Since when do we listen to marines? Do you realize this could be a trap? Are you even thinking…"

"Shush!" hushed Nami. "I make it a rule never to turn down a free lunch, and if this turns out to be a trap, you can sue him for fraud!"

"More like _he_ can sue _us_ for fraud, since we're not really lawyers!"

"GORGON! RENO!!" came yells from nearby (guess who).

Django and Fullbody burst into the restaurant, waving and yelling frantically. They stopped, looked over the scene, and suddenly became awkwardly silent.

"Oh… we're sorry…" said Fullbody nervously.

"We hope we're not…_interrupting_… anything…" said Django.

"What? OH! NO!" said Nami quickly "No, it's nothing like that…"

"Yeah!" helped Zoro "we're only here because we don't have to pay for it…"

"I know exactly what you mean" Django nodded, holding a finger to his nose. "Anyway! We just though we'd drop in and say hi! We can't stay long though!"

"We have to go see our Hina-Chan and give her thiiiiiiiiis!" Fullbody waved around a piece of black rope.

"A piece of rope?" asked Nami.

"It's Hina-Chan's most valued possession!" Django smiled. "Hopefully, if we return it to her, one of us will get to…"

"You mean _I'll _get to…" butted Fullbody.

"No, _I'll _get to!" argued Django.

"ME!"

"NO, ME!"  
"DANCE-OFF, BABY!" Then they were off, dancing an argumentative aria to their adverse animosity.

"I hate to break it to you guys…" began Zoro "but a rope is considered a weapon… and weapons aren't allowed in prisons…"

The two slumped over, depressed. "But… it's Hina's most valued possession!" pleaded Fullbody.

"Well, you know what they say; 'the law is reason-free from passion'" Zoro said, thinking he was quoting Mawelyr while in reality quoting Aristotle.

"But it's Hina's most valued possession!" pleaded Django.

"Give us the rope," demanded Nami.

"But it was given to Hina by Aet…"

"NOW!

"Oh…"

Hina's rope: It's a length of black rope, frayed at the ends. It's made up of three individual strands wrapped tightly together. Why is this getting put down in an evidence-style slot? It's a lot easier to work into the story than describing it in-text, that's why.

"Well… now that our purpose in life has been taken away…" began Django.

"We'll just leave now…" finished Fullbody.

**HOLD IT! **

(Could I have done that differently? Yes. But doing it this way is cooler).

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you guys some things" interjected Zoro.

"Only if it'll help Hina-Chan!" they both stated.

"It's to help Hina-Chan."

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL HER HINA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!" they screamed.

Zoro sighed. _Why are the people I work with such idiots?_

"You'd better not be including me in there," scolded Nami.

_Oh, you're not an idiot, you're just a pain in the…_

"LANGUAGE!"

…_neck. At least let me finish my thoughts before reading them, ok?_

"Fine…"

Django and Fullbody stared at Nami with looks of concern; they had, to their knowledge, just watched the woman talk to herself, and were afraid that schizophrenic lunatics were defending their darling Hina-Chan.

"Don't mind her, she's just crazy" said Zoro, meriting a smack from Nami. "Were you guys at the dance festival yesterday, per chance?"

"Of course we were!" cried Django.

"And we were the best dancers there, of course!" added Fullbody.

"Though there was that one guy with the goggles and the bag…" remembered Django.

"Yeah! HE was the greatest!" laughed Fullbody.

_Usopp has to be good at something, I suppose…_

"Did you, by any chance, see a figure in a long cloak and hood run by?" asked Zoro.

Django thought. "I didn't see anyone like that… did you, baby?"

"Well…" Fullbody scratched his head, then gasped in pain when the metal scratched his skin "that witness guy, Bell something, he was wearing a cloak…"

"Belabor?"

"YEAH! He was wearing a cloak!" Fullbody said triumphantly.

"No wonder he lied…"

"Not so fast there, Zoro" Nami warned, "A cloak does not a killer make."

"Yeah, but in my experience, a cloak _and_ a testimony full of holes do."

"Experience? What experience?"

"Good point."

"Anything else?" asked Django hopefully.

"I don't think so…" began Zoro.

But Nami gasped, and had a sudden flashback.

-Flashback-

_"Well, if you weren't running away from the scene, then why were you at the judge's house?" asked Zoro curiously._

_"Hina…" she looked down "Hina cannot say."_

-End Flashback-

"HOLD IT!" yelled Nami. She looked disappointed. "Why wasn't _mine_ bolded?" she demanded.

"13th century sexism?" Zoro offered.

"Whichever. ANYWAY! You guys were there when Hina was arrested, so you knew that she'd be at the judge's house, right?"

"Yup!" Fullbody. "Our darling Hina-Chan may pretend not to like us… but she always lets us know where she's going so we can follow her!"

_Stalk much?_

"Do you know why she went to the judge's house that night?" Nami asked hopefully.

Django and Fullbody were silent for a moment. They exchanged glances, as if daring the other to speak first.

There was silence.

-

There was more silence.

-

-

There was even more silence.

"OK, SOMEBODY SPEAK OR I'M GOING ONI-GIRI ON YOU _BOTH!_" yelled Zoro.

"WE DON'T KNOW ALL THE DETAILS!" spurted Django.

"WE ONLY KNOW THAT IT HAD TO WITH _THAT CASE!!_" splurted Fullbody.

"What case?" demanded Zoro, "Are you telling me that all the events of this trial tie back to a previous case I've never heard of?"

"Maybe… but that would be too convenient, wouldn't it?" smiled Django.

"Yeah…" shrugged Zoro "I was just hoping."

"We only call it 'that case' because that's what Hina-Chan called it" Fullbody recalled.

"Hold on!" said Django. "Hina-Chan left us a memo about it! I'll moonwalk back to the ship and get it from my hope chest!"

Ten Minutes later

"…and that's the reason why I have pink hair" concluded Fullbody.

"What a horrible misusage of pickle juice and bee pheromones!" commented a shocked Nami.

"Whoever thought frogs could be used for such a horrible purpose?" added Zoro.

"I'M BACK!" yelled Django, bursting through the doors of the restaurant. "Here you go Mr. Gorgon Zolo!"

Hina's Memo: 'Hina is going to meet with Judge Thomas at 9:00. You may come to the gates, but Hina must ask you to stay outside. And no, Hina will not go out with either of you.'

"SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!" they both cooed.

_Control yourselves, please; people are eating._

"Thanks" said Zoro, tucking the memo into his… um… (A/N: Does he have pockets? You can't really tell, you know? Ah well) pocket. "I guess we'll be going now."

"OH! One more thing!" Django said as they left. "Detective Spade said that the body's been moved and everything's been checked out… so you can go see the crime scene if you want to!"

"That's great!" said Nami. "Maybe we'll find some clues and actually start making sense of this case!"

"Don't hold your breath" remarked Zoro.

"Can't you be optimistic for once in your life?"

"That's Luffy's job, not mine."

"Fair enough."

Nitonnec Library, Reading Room. 8/19. 3:26 pm.

"Was it really just this morning that we were here last?" mused Nami.

"I know what you mean… it feels like weeks," muttered Zoro.

"What are we looking for, exactly?"

"Don't ask me, you were the one who said there'd be clues here."

"But you're the lawyer! You're supposed to be good at this kind of thing!"

_I think society has a somewhat distorted view of what a lawyer is…_

"Well, let's approach this scientifically! What do we need to know that we can find out by looking at this room?"

"Well…" Zoro thought for a minute. "I think it'd be worth our time to check the window, maybe the killer left something behind."

"Do you think the police would miss something?"

"Yup" Zoro said succinctly, reaching up to the corner of the window and pulling out a short length of rope that had been caught between the window and it's frame.

"Gives you a lot of confidence in the police, huh?" quipped Nami.

"It's only the 13th century, cut them some slack."

Rope Segment: Found at crime scene. Frayed at one end. Black. Made of three tightly intertwined strands. Sounds oddly familiar.

"That _does_ sound oddly familiar…" mused Nami, agreeing with the evidence entry.

"I don't want to say this…" Zoro shook his head "but it looks exactly like Hina's 'most prized possession'…"

"Please tell me that the frayed ends don't fit together perfectly…"

Zoro compared the two ends.

"They might… I can't really tell though," he admitted.

"You're useless, you know that?"

"HEY! Who got us an extra day, huh?"

"Usopp."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT??"

"Kidding! Just wanted to see you freak out."

"I'll freak _you_ out…" Zoro muttered.

"IF YOU DO ANYTHING DIRTY WITH NAMI-SAN I'LL MURDER YOU, YOU STUPID MARIMOOOOOOOOOO!!" came Sanji's voice from afar.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Zoro yelled back.

"O… OK!" came Sanji's voice.

"You know, some running gags should be drug out into the street and shot," commented Nami.

_I agree completely_ thought Zoro, knowing perfectly well that Nami had heard it.

"Something seems a bit odd to me…" mused Zoro, returning to the plot with almost no transition whatsoever.

"What is it?"

"Well… if Judge Hamilton was going to meet with Hina at 9:00, why was he here, on the other side of town, only half an hour before the meeting?" Zoro shook his head. "He wasn't exactly a thin man… I doubt he could make the trip in the twenty-one minutes Mawelyr claims is average…"

"Maybe he didn't want to pay any late fees on his books?" offered Nami.

"Maybe…" Zoro searched the room. He looked at the body outline, and then pictured the crime scene in his mind. "The body fell like that… so he must have turned around when he saw the killer approaching… which means he was probably sitting… there." He pointed to a small reading table on one end of the room. He moved the table, searching for something, anything to help him get a better bearing on the case. He smiled. Sticking out of a ventilation hole in the floor was a manila file.

"This must have been what he was reading" he mused.

"Wow Zoro! Almost like you knew what you were doing!"

"Gee, thanks," said Zoro, placing a hand behind his head. He looked at the file. The top of it read, in small handwritten letters, 'Trinity Affair'. "It's empty!" Zoro remarked, looking inside. He sighed, and tucked the file into his pocket. "So much for that…"

"I wonder what the 'Trinity Affair' is…" mused Nami.

"If I had to take a guess, I'd say it's 'that case,'" Zoro offered.

"HEY! That… is actually a logical deduction!"

"Elementary, my dear Nami."

"Yeah, whatever Sheer Luck Holmes."

IT'S OVER!

We've decided to break the investigation phase up into multiple chapters. Why? Because… it's late. And I'm tired. What will happen next? What deep-rooted, past events are affecting the destinies of those who live in the present? And are you seriously telling me that the plot for this story _has been thought out?_ Well… no… I guess I'm telling you… review, or you will suffer the wrath known as 'ahbjecsheeen'!!


	8. Smoker and Hina

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Before our standard disclaimer shtick, we here at AFFI would like to thank those of you who have bothered to read this far.

I'm sure we have all, at least once, started reading a story we thought was good, and stopped reading simply because of the sheer length of it. (I, personally, have to confess only reading two chapters of a three chapter story that I thought was simply superb). The fact that you are here reading this means a lot to all of us; by which I mean, it means a lot to me.

We would also like to take the opportunity to promote Hachi as the tenth Straw Hat Pirate. And now, onto our originally scheduled disclaimer.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII am a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan of constant BORROW!! I own haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardly anythiiiiiiiiiiiing.

_He owns haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardly anythiiiiiiiiiiiiiing._

_W.G.S. Chimmeree. _8/19. 4:12 pm.

"The… Chimmeree?" asked Zoro, gaping at the name of the marine ship emblazoned in gold letters. "Where's the pun in that?"

"Ooh! I know this one!" hopped Nami. "Chimmeree is a reference to 'Chim-Chim-Chimmeree', a song sung by chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins!"

"And…?"

"Smoke comes out of chimneys!"

Zoro shook his head in disbelief. "That's a stretch… heck, that's more stretchy than Luffy."

"THERE YOU ARE!" a voice billowed from the deck of the ship. "You certain take your time eating lunch, don't you?" Smoker stared at them with cold eyes.

"Well, it was all on you," explained Zoro "so Ms. Thief here had to order enough to feed us for the next two months."

Smokers eyed lightened a bit. He probably would have chuckled, except the joke had involved him losing about five thousand berries out of his personal bank account. "Come into my office" he ordered "and don't get comfortable, because next time you're in there you'll be on your way to be hanged."

"You really are a pleasant person, you know that?" Nami remarked.

"I try, I really do" Smoker quipped.

Smoker's Office.

"I suppose you wonder why I've gathered you here" Smoker began.

"Not really" replied Zoro nonchalantly.

"WELL THEN YOU'D DAMN BETTER WONDER!!" yelled Smoker, once again miraculously keeping his cigars in his mouth while it flung wide open.

Zoro cringed. Spit was one thing, but smoke flying in his face was another thing entirely; another thing entirely that happened to burn his nostrils (don't you hate that feeling?).

"Why have you called us here?" asked Nami, hoping to smooth things over.

"I was hoping one of you would ask that," said Smoker, snapping back into focus.

_Really? I never would've guessed!_

"Now" Smoker continued, "I don't pretend to know anything about the case at hand…"

"So you're going to be a fountain of useful information. Thanks" Zoro teased, unable to resist".

Smoker reddened visibly, _not_ because he harbored a secret crush on Zoro, but because he was ridiculously enraged and was attempting to hold it in. (YAOIS MUST DIE!) "I've called you here…" Smoker choked for a moment, not believing what he was about to say, "to thank you."

"Come again?" asked a dazed Zoro.

"Don't make me say it again," Smoker pleaded, no, threatened.

"Um… thanks" said Nami, unsure what to say, "but… you don't really have to thank us… it's not like we knew you'd be involved in this…"

"I know" said Smoker, shaking his head, "but when I heard about this case, and that Manson Mawelyr was heading the prosecution… I gave up hope." He sagged his head down. "You've given me that lost hope back, if only for a little while," he explained.

"Is he really that good?" asked Nami, innocently.

"THAT GOOD!" yelled Smoker, sending Nami and Zoro flying back against a wall, "HE'S _INSANELY_ GOOD! He's only _one trial _away from completing a freaking TRIATHLON!"

"Again with the triathlon" said Zoro, sitting himself back down shakily "what the heck _is_ that thing?"

"A Triathlon" Smoker explained "is a term used to describe when a lawyer wins three-thousand cases in a row. As you can imagine, it's very hard to do."

"Three thousand trials?" Nami stuttered, doing a quick calculation inside her head, "that's ten years undefeated at least!!"

Smoker nodded. "It's quite an impressive feat, to say the least."

"Wait… you said that he's _one trial_ away?" asked Zoro. "That would mean…"

"Yes" Smoker nodded "winning this trial will complete his triathlon, and forever place his name in the history of our legal system. As you can imagine, he's quite eager to get his 'guilty', and quite upset that he has to wait another day." Smoker smiled (that's right! SMILED!) "Not since _that trial_ has he ever done anything but get a 'guilty' in one day…"

_You're kidding me! Him too?_

"Excuse me, Commodore" Zoro began, trying to be polite, "this 'trial' that you're talking about… does it have anything to do with this?" He held out the manila file labeled 'Trinity Affair'.

Smoker gasped. "LET ME SEE THAT!" He snatched the file from Zoro, shaking visibly. "Where… WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?"

"At the crime scene" Nami explained, "we think Judge Hamilton was reading it before he was killed."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" yelled Smoker, sending Nami and Zoro both flying from their chairs again.

"Do you know anything about that case?" asked Zoro, crawling back towards his seat.

Smoker looked away. "How could I forget?" he said softly. "That was the day… the day she changed forever."

"Can you tell us?" asked Nami, hopefully.

"I only know bits and pieces," explained Smoker. "Even now, my mind intentionally blots some of it out… but I should be able to give you an overview. I can do at least that much."

"Thank you, commodore" said Zoro "anything you can do for us will be greatly…"

"OH CUT THE CRAP!" yelled Smoker "Don't even _try_ acting polite, it's more offensive than when you're rude."

"Nice going, pal" winked Nami.

"AHEM!" Smoker cleared his throat. Zoro and Nami turned their full attention towards him. "The name 'Trinity Affair'" he began to explain, "refers to the fact that all three of Nitonnec's 'legal Trinity' were involved somehow."

"The 'legal Trinity'?" asked Zoro.

Smoker nodded. "The unswayable judge, the unrelenting prosecutor, the unwavering defense attorney. All world-renown, all coming from this very island."

"Wow! This must be some island!" whistled Nami.

"You're telling me" Smoker agreed "an attorney from this island was good enough to get me out of trouble in my younger years…" he laughed, reminiscing, "I was pretty wild back then, I tell you, why I recall…"

"NO! NO! NO!" ordered Zoro. "You are _not_ pulling a Belabor-length speech on us in the middle of an investigation!"

"YOU WATCH IT!" yelled Smoker "I DON'T HAVE TO HELP YOU, YOU KNOW!"

"Do you _want_ Hina found guilty?" snapped Zoro.

Smoker reddened visibly again. "No…" he admitted. "I don't. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO…" he began to rise from his chair.

"Why can't we all just get along?" asked Nami, impersonating Jerry Springer.

The two men glared at each other for a moment. Smoker slowly lowered himself back down, while Zoro inched his hand away from his swords.

"So!" said Nami, trying to get back on topic. "Tell us about the case Mr. Commodore Smoker, sir!" She saluted awkwardly, and Zoro stifled a smile.

"For instance, why would Mr. Hamilton be reading about it in the first place?" Zoro added.

"Judge Hamilton was a good man" Smoker explained "he never let a case go even the slightest bit unresolved… and if there was ever a case that was unresolved, it was that one."

"So Hamilton…" Nami prompted.

"Was the judge in that case. Yes."

"So he was considered the greatest judge of all time?" confirmed Zoro.

Smoker shook his head. "No… the greatest judge of all time… was the victim, Liberty Dreyfus."

_How many judges are _on_ this island? And what kind of name is Liberty?_

"So that's one," mused Nami "what about the other two-thirds of the Trinity?"

"Well…" Smoker racked his brain "I only remember the attorney from that case…" he looked down shamefully "and that's only because he's the same guy who bailed me out, Aetius Barrister."

_Barrister? Where have I heard that before?_

"So… Barrister…"

"He was the best there was," explained Smoker "period. He redefined what it meant to be a defense attorney. The amount of faith he placed in his clients…" Smoker paused "it was touching. I nearly cried my eyes out when he looked me in the eyes and told me I'd be found innocent."

_Huh, Smoker crying. That's something I've never pictured. And never want to for that matter._

"He would work long hours trying to uncover the truth behind cases." Smoker continued "That's all that ever really mattered to him; the truth. It just so happened that the truth always set his clients free. A bit cliché I suppose, but it's true. He figured out the truth behind _that_ case too…" Smoker was silent. "But something happened… and the true killer… escaped."

"Who was the killer?" No one verbalized it, but the question hung in the air all the same.

Smoker paused. "I don't remember who the killer was though."

Zoro and Nami sweat dropped. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" they yelled.

"HEY! I was young and impressionable! It was too much for my mind to handle!" Smoker defended.

"I suppose," said Zoro, disappointed.

"One thing I do remember though…" Smoker recalled, "The killer had this habit… he would talk… _all the time…_ I know that's probably not useful at all, but…"

Zoro and Nami just looked at each other. _Well… this has been a productive meeting._

"You're telling me," Nami whispered.

"Actually, I wasn't" Zoro snapped back. "How many times do I have to ask you _not_ to read my mind?"

"Kiss me and I'll stop" Nami said slyly.

"What?" Zoro was taken aback.

Nami rolled her eyes. "It's my way of saying 'never in a million years, pal'".

"Yeah… but couldn't you put it in a way that _won't_ have the readers gossiping among themselves?"

"I suppose I _could_" Nami admitted, "but…"

"You know, as much as it may seem," said Smoker sarcastically "I could really care less about your lover spats. If you're done, leave."

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" screamed Nami and Zoro, sending Smoker flying against a wall.

"I'm sorry…" came Smoker's voice, weakened from the impact "you can leave now…"

"Now to get the rest of the story from Hina" Zoro said, determined.

"She won't tell you…" came Smoker's voice "too… traumatic…"

"I'll drag it out of her" replied Zoro firmly "it's my job."

"Isn't it great that he's so dedicated to his work?" Nami joked uneasily.

Nitonnec Detention Center. 8/19. 5:02 pm.

Hina smiled. "You came! Hina is so happy…"

"I'm afraid I'm not here to cheer you up," explained Zoro.

"Isn't that part of what Hina hired you to do?" asked Hina.

"No" said Zoro firmly "A defense attorney's job…" he stopped. _Wow. A month ago I never would have done anything like this. Am I really saying this? Have I gotten in this deep? _ "A defense attorney's job…" he continued "is to find the truth." He looked in Hina's eyes. "No matter how painful it may be."

"What…?" Hina was shocked, and somewhat scared.

"I have a feeling I'm not going to get many lines in this scene…" muttered Nami.

Zoro glared at Nami, then turned his attention back to Hina. "You're going to tell me everything you know… about this." He held up the Manila file."

Hina gasped, and looked away. "Hina… Hina knows nothing about it!"

"Then why the reaction?"

Hina bit her lip, and shook her head.

_Time for some interrogation… Hina, prepare to fall under Gorgon's eyes!_

"Hina… you know about this case." Zoro insisted, waving the file.

"No… Hina does not!" Hina insisted back. "You don't have any reason to suspect such a thing!"

"Yet here I am, dead certain that you know what I'm talking about. Funny, huh?"

Hina looked away.

Zoro sighed. _I'll just have to hit her with some evidence I suppose._

He held up the memo. "Do you recognize this?"

Hina gasped. "Those fools…"

"Yes, I can take advantage of the foolish foolishness of foolhardy fools just as much as you can." Zoro grinned. "It says right here in this memo, you went to see Judge Hamilton that night to talk about _that case._"

"That case… that could be _any_ case!" Hina rebutted.

"True… but there's something interesting about the _wording_ here…" Zoro explained. "Ever since I've been on this island, I've heard everyone call the victim in this case 'Judge Hamilton'…

"YET YOU REFER TO HIM BY HIS_ FIRST_ NAME! AND I KNOW FOR A FACT HE WAS INVOLVED IN THIS AFFAIR!"

"AH!" gasped Hina. If this were Phoenix Wright, a psyche-lock would have shattered. "B-b-but!" stuttered Hina. "So I know Judge Thomas' first name! What does that prove?"

"Nothing by itself…" Zoro admitted. "But I know for a fact that another person from that case knows who _you_ are" Zoro lied. _I'm flying by the seat of my pants on this one… but I think I'm right!_

"Who?" Hina asked, terrified.

"The last witness today…" Zoro began "he was the _suspect_ in that case, wasn't he?"

"How did you…"

"And he knows who you are too."

-Flashback-

_"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF DEFENDING THAT RASCAL HINA, ARE YOU?" _(Said by Geoffrey Belabor).

-End Flashback-

"You were using an alias on this island." Zoro began to tense with excitement. He was bluffing his way through the whole thing, but there was a certain truth to what he was saying, and a little more would break her, he was sure of it. "Yet Mr. Belabor knew your real name!"

"HE COULD ONLY KNOW THAT IF HE MET YOU SOMEWHERE BEFORE, LIKE DURING _THAT CASE!_"

There was silence for a minute.

_Did that work? I was guessing my way to hell back there…_

"W—W—WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hina cried.

_Yup. It worked._

"NO!" yelled Hina.

_Crap-a-tap-tap!_

"Hina… doesn't… want to… tell…" Hina gasped. "You can't… you can't understand… what happened… what happened to him…"

_Him?_

"Hina" Zoro said in a comforting tone, "I'm not bringing this up to torment you… I need to know the story behind this trial… It'll lead me to the truth, I'm sure." _And for once, I actually believe what I'm saying._

Hina shook her head. "No… Hina would rather die… than remember what happened again…"

"That's not what _he_ would want," Zoro told her.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HIM!" screamed Hina, hysterical with sadness and rage, "You don't… YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!"

"On the contrary" said Zoro, a sudden realization coming over him, "I know exactly who you don't want to remember." Zoro looked away. "I can't pretend to know what happened…" He whipped his head back, glaring directly in Hina's eyes.

"BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT AETIUS BARRISTER WOULD DEMAND TO KNOW THE TRUTH!"

"W-w-w…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hina broke down. She sobbed uncontrollably, her whole body shaking as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Zoro reached out to comfort her, a first for him, and cursed when the sheet of glass stopped his hand from reaching her. "Hina…" he whispered, almost affectionately "I don't know _how_ I know…" he explained "but I know. Barrister… he meant something to you, didn't he?"

Hina took a sharp breath in surprise. She remained silent, but shook her head fiercely.

"Hina…" Zoro continued. "He wouldn't want you to die for something you didn't do… he would want justice… and you know it."

Hina chuckled softly between sobs. "Coming from a pirate, that sounds amazingly hypocritical. She wiped her eyed. "But you're right" she conceded after a moment's silence. "Barry… he'd want to know everything…" She straightened up, looking strong for the first time in days. "Alright Mr. Roronoa Zoro, Hina will tell you the whole story… the story of the 'Trinity Affair'."

End. Trial next!

Skyler: WHAAAAAAAAT? Trial next? Aren't you going to explain to the readers what the heck is going on?

Amaxing: Why should I? I'm the writer, and I say trial next!

Sky: But…

Max: NO!

Sky: Fine… trial next…


	9. The Trinity Affair

Dis claim…er… I claim er… that I, like, don't… erm… Own One Piece? Or like, Nintendo? So… yeah, dat's what dis claim's saying.

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby. 8/20. 5:45 pm.

Nightfall on Nitonnec. A slight fog had fallen over the island, giving it an eerie 'Thriller" feel. Two people sat waiting in the defendant's lobby.

"It's a bit odd to have the trial this late, isn't it?" asked the green-haired man.

"I suppose…" agreed his female companion. She looked at him knowingly "but that's not what you're worried about, is it?"

"What? I… I'M FINE! Don't worry about me!"

She shook her head. "You can't fool me, I know that look."

He sighed. "Yeah… I'm man enough to admit it… I'm kind of nervous…" He placed a hand behind his head and blushed (that's right, _blushed_) slightly.

"This guy is rumored to be the best in the world…" she mused. She looked down, and smiled a little. "If it helps any, I believe you can do this… and I love you."

He was silent for a moment. Then he smiled. "Thanks Hina" he whispered.

"No problem, Barry!" Hina smiled.

_My name is Aetius Barrister. I am 26 years old. For the past four years, I've stood at a bench, shouting at people and pointing my finger. No, I'm not a politician; I'm a defense attorney._

_When I first began as a lawyer, my methods shocked people. The press claimed that I was an 'upstart amateur' who won cases through 'showmanship and verbosity'. They called my victories flukes and attributed my perfect record to beginner's luck. Four years later, here I am. Still a spotless record, and about to go up against the number one prosecutor in the region… some say the world._

Hina smiled. "Oh, Barry. You're so _cute_ when you talk to yourself!"

_This beautiful creature is my fiancée, Officer Hina. Three years ago she hired me to bail her friend Smoker out of a crisis at the Naval Academy, and, well, one thing led to another. As her introduction suggests, we're to be married, November 11__th__, as a matter of fact._

The door to the defendant's lobby slammed open, shaking the walls. "MR. BARRISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!" yelled a tall, ridiculously ripped young man. "You've gotta help MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

_And that guy over there in the sleeveless shirt and gym shorts? That'd be my client, Robert Flex, a personal trainer at Nitonnec Total Fitness. He's been charged with the murder of Liberty Dreyfus, a judge held by the World Government as the finest of all time. Part of that is probably because he died before he could issue an incorrect verdict… but I won't speak ill of the dead. He was, at the very least, a good man, and a judge without peer. Why on earth the police think a man as helpless and impressionable as Mr. Flex could kill such a famous and powerful man, I'll never know._

"Mr. Barrister" said Flex, crying. "Why on earth do they think I did it? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" (A/N: Elapsed time to type every why: 0.3 seconds. Top _that._)

"I don't know Mr. Flex," explained Aetius "I only just received your case from the previous lawyer yesterday."

"WHY?" yelled Flex. "WHY DID HE DITCH MEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"Um… he died in his sleep…. He _was _ninety-seven" offered Hina.

"It's always like that" Flex said through tear-filled eyes. "Sudden injury, vacations, deportment, death…" He began to bawl "NO MATTER WHAT, EVERYONE ENDS UP DITCHING ME AT THE LAST MINUUUUUUUTE!!"

Barrister clamped his hands over his ears. "Could you try not yelling so loudly, Mr. Flex?" he pleaded. "That's kind of what you're paying _me_ to do."

"O…ok…" said Robert, wiping his eyes on his sweat-filled, sleeveless gym shirt. "Oh, and… you can call me 'Bo'… my friends call me that…"

_Bo Flex? Where have I heard that before?_

"Maybe it would make him feel better if you looked over the evidence you gathered. Make it look like you're _doing_ something!" whispered Hina.

"Good idea, it'll also make sure that the reader doesn't cry 'foul play' when I present this stuff in court" Aetius noted.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Devil Fruit registrar's list:

Lady Allure: Hot-Hot fruit.

Graham Bell: Rope-Rope fruit

Eugene Einstein: Brain-Brain fruit

Eustace Einstein: Brain-Brain fruit

Felix O'Hara: Luck-Luck fruit

Daz Bones: Supa-Supa fruit (This look familiar to anyone?)

Subpoena: 'Mr. Robert Flex is summoned to Nitonnec Courthouse on 8/12, to testify on behalf of one Adam Anatine.'

Crime Photo: Picture of the front of the courthouse. The stone steps and roman column outcropping have not been installed yet, so there is merely a dirt path and a small garden leading up to the door. Hamilton's body can be seen through the open door, hanging from the rafters in the center of the building. Area in front of courthouse is otherwise undisturbed.

"The trial will begin shortly, please enter the courtroom" said the bailiff, off-screen.

Aetius smiled. "It's that time again," he sang in a singsong sing…er, voice.

"Barry, I don't know…" shied Hina.

"Do that thing that drive me crazy. Pleeeeeeease?" He gave her puppy dog eyes. "It's for good luck!" He moped.

Hina chuckled. "Alright, alright." She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Hina wishes you good luck, Mr. Barrister."

Aetius shook his head, overcome with delight. "Oh yeah!" He let out a jubilant yell. "I'm _so_ ready to get my NOT GUILTY!"

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/20, Ten Years Ago. 6:00 pm.

"All rise!" ordered the bailiff. "The honorable judge Thomas Hamilton residing!"

Hundreds of people rose to their feet, their murmuring resonating clearly off the high, cathedral-type ceiling of the courthouse. Judge Thomas Hamilton walked into the room, radiating power and justice despite his portly figure. He slammed his gavel, and the court was seated.

"The trial of Mr. Robert Flex will now come to order, me old boys!"

"The defense is ready your honor" nodded Aetius. _That accent will get annoying pretty fast…_

Silence from the prosecution.

"Erm… should we assume the prosecution is… _not_ ready then?" asked Hamilton.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"SILENCE!" the prosecutor replied coldly. "Do you think that I, the great Manson Mawelyr, would stand before this court unprepared?

_You know… this is the first time I've met this guy… yet I have the strangest feeling that we've been through this before…_

"Usually, people just call that '_Déjà vu'_ dear." Hina offered.

Aetius smiled. "I love it when you read my mind."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"If the defense is done with its shameless flirting" taunted Mawelyr, "I'd like to make my opening statement."

"By all means, Mr. Mawelyr" said Aetius, trying to sound more confident then he felt. "Be my guest."

"The prosecution is willing to concede, as of now, that there are no direct witnesses that can tie the defendant to this crime."

_Whoa. Déjà vu. And all of a sudden my job becomes easier._

"That's better honey" Hina smiled.

"I know what you're thinking Aetius Barrister" Mawelyr sneered. "You're thinking 'And all of a sudden my job becomes easier'."

Aetius jumped back. _How the hell did he _**do** _that?_

"BUT YOU'RE WRONG!" yelled Mawelyr, seeming to become taller as he captured the audience's attention. "While there are no direct witnesses," he slammed his left fist on the bench "there is _decisive _evidence that proves the defendant's guilt! Not to mention there is an event that took place that proves that _only the defendant_ could have committed the crime!"

"Could you stop that?" asked Aetius, innocently.

"Stop… what?" Mawelyr faltered, his rhythm thrown off by the bluntness of the question.

"You keep giving me déjà vu, and it's _really _starting to annoy me." Aetius explained.

"Um…" Mawelyr was silent for a moment, confused. "O…k?"

"Thank you. That's better."

"Erm… Mr. Mawelyr?" asked the judge. "Are you ready to call your first witness, me old boy?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"YOU WILL NOT USE YOUR ACCENT WHEN REFERRING TO ME!"

"ERM! YES SIR!" apologized the judge. "Mr. Mawelyr, your witness?"

"Yes your honor" Mawelyr replied, the sneer in his voice returning. "The prosecution calls the officer in charge of the investigation to the stand!"

A medium-height, lanky marine with long hair, a chain around his neck, and sunglasses on (even though it was night) came to the stand.

"Name. Occupation." Mawelyr demanded.

"WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP!" screamed the marine. "CHIEF PETTY OFFICER SMOKER HERE TO ROCK DA HOUSE, BIZZOOOOOOOOOY!!"

Somewhere in an alternate dimension, a fan fiction reader laughs hysterically.

"Um… Mr. Smoker? Do you think you can calm down, me boy?" asked Hamilton.

"Don't be a player-hater old man!" Smoker defended. "You gotta live out loud to be a real G., dig?"

"Um… o…k?" Judge Hamilton was perplexed.

"Perhaps it would be helpful if the witness went directly to his testimony?" Mawelyr offered.

"Yes!" The judge was relieved. "The court agrees with Mr. Mawelyr's motion. Mr. Smoker, give us your testimony, me boy."

"Tell us about the results of the investigation, and why they point to the defendant" Mawelyr prompted.

"SURE THING POPS!" Smoker saluted.

-The Investigation-

"Judge Liberty Dreyfus was found hanging from da rafters of dis very courthouse two nights ago."

"At first, we all assumed he'd done himself in."

"However, when we examined his neck, we found that the rope burns were consistent with him being pulled _up_ from the ground, instead of falling _down_ from higher."

"Now, Mr. Dreyfus lifted weights at Nitonnec total fitness everyday, da man was _ripped_ yo! He weighed over four-hundred pounds from all dat muscle!"

"The day of da murder, he and Mr. Flex got into a fight over use of da weight room! We've got like ten witnesses, they say it got pretty ugly, y'know?"

"One thing leads to another, and we find a shred of Flex's shirt here in the courthouse, not to mention some strands of his hair!"

"And to top it all off, our science duded up at HQ say that with the length of the rope being what it is, and the weight of judge Dreyfus, you'd have to be able to lift like eight-hundred pounds to commit this murder! And the only one on the island who can lift that, besides Mr. Dreyfus himself, is da defendant!"

-End Testimony-

"A very long, hard to understand, yet decisive testimony, me old boy" commented Hamilton.

"The prosecution will present all the relative evidence," said Mawelyr.

Dreyfus's Autopsy report: Died just before midnight on 8/18. Rope marks suggest Liberty Dreyfus was pulled up forcibly and hanged on the rope, leading to death by strangulation. No other marks found on body.

Rope: A four foot length of black rope. Frayed at one end. Composed of three intertwined strands. The murder weapon.

Flex's shirt: A piece of fabric torn from Robert Flex's shirt. Matches perfectly with what he is wearing.

Flex's hair follicles: Strands of Flex's hair, found at the crime scene.

"Alright Aetius! Have at him!" cheered Hina.

_Have at… what? That was just… perfect!_

"You're absolutely right," agreed Mawelyr.

_HOW DOES HE _**DO**_ THAT!?_

"Erm… Mr. Smoker?" asked Aetius.

"JUST CALL ME BIG SMOKY, BIZZOOOOOOOOY!"

"Al…alright, 'Big Smoky', do you have any proof that the shirt piece and the hair was left here on the night of the crime?" Aetius asked, years of experience immediately showing him where to find a hole.

"Erm… well… good point…" sputtered Smoker.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Flex is a personal trainer who lives on the other side of town!" Mawelyr interjected "he has never had a reason to enter this room!"

"NO REASON EXCEPT TO KILL JUDGE DREYFUS THAT IS!"

**OBJECTION!**

Barrister's voice rang throughout the courtroom, and all at once, its occupants took a breath in awe. They stared intently at Aetius' outstretched arm, wondering what kind of miracle it would mold.

"I have here a subpoena for Mr. Robert Flex" Aetius explained, waving a piece of paper in the air dramatically.

"We all know he has been summoned to trial, Mr. Barrister" Mawelyr taunted "He's standing right behind you!"

The courtroom chuckled.

"True" admitted Aetius. "But this subpoena…"

"IS DATED FOR THE _12__th_ OF AUGUST!"

**TAKE THAT!** came cries from the onlookers, some of which had their hair done exactly like Aetius'.

_Wait? Seriously? It was that easy?_

BANG! BANG! "ORDER!" yelled Hamilton.

"As this subpoena clearly shows," continued Aetius. "The possibility that Mr. Flex dropped these articles before the crime ever took place is obvious." He smiled. "I motion that these articles of evidence be removed from the court." _And now comes the 'ahbjecsheen…'_

Mawelyr cackled. "I'm impressed, Mr. Barrister."

_Huh? Did he just… compliment me?_

"As sad as it may seem" Mawelyr continued, "most defense attorneys these days wouldn't catch something like that."

_WHAT? THAT WAS GLARINGLY OBVIOUS!_

"For someone who bothered to do some footwork, that is" commented Hina.

"Ah, good point" Aetius conceded.

"AHEM!" Aetius snapped back to attention as Mawelyr cleared his throat violently. "However" Mawelyr explained, "as 'impressive' as that contradiction may seem" he shook his head "these pieces of evidence are nothing more than throwaways."

"WHAT?" yelled Judge Hamilton "but… THOSE ARE THE ONLY THINGS TYING MR. FLEX TO THIS CRIME!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Not true" claimed Mawelyr "the rest of this witness' testimony clearly gives Mr. Flex a motive" he paused for sinister effect "not to mention makes it painfully clear that Mr. Flex is the _only one_ who had the opportunity to commit the crime!"

Hustle bustle from the crowd.

_Oh… my stomach… my poor stomach…_

"That Mawelyr… methodical to a fault, huh?" Hina winked.

"I'm sorry dear… but now's not the time to be so damn cute."

Hina giggled. "Glad I can be of assistance."

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER!" yelled Hamilton. "Mr. Smoker?"

"WADDYA WANT, GRAMPS?" posed Smoker.

"Could you please testify in further detail about this _opportunity_ that Mr. Mawelyr spoke of, me boy?"

Smoker struck a pose. "Ain't nothin' that a real O. G. can't handle, BIZZOOOOOOOOY!"

-Opportunity-

"It's like I said before! Our science dudes say the only one who could do it was Flex!"

"We got an official report, typed up and all, it should be sittin' on the evidence bench right now!"

"To top that off, Mr. Flex was also one of the only people who _weren't_ down by the south bridge that night!"

"G! L! T! Y! HE AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI! HE GUILTY!"

-End Testimony-

"A report?" asked Aetius, not bothering to wait for a prompt.

"YEAH, BIZZOOOOOY!" Smoker called back.

_Ugh…_

"The report, for your perusal, my boy." Judge Hamilton gave Aetius a file.

Physics report: The length of the rope and body weight of the victim, being what they are, respectively, indicate that the amount of force applied to commit the murder is equivalent to the amount needed to lift a weight of eight hundred pounds or more.

"And… you also said something about… erm" Aetius paused for a minute, embarrassed, "'he ain't got no alibi?'"

"YUP!" Smoker said quickly. He paused. "Though come to think of it…" Smoker mused "you weren't there either, were you Mr. Barrister?"

"I must have missed the memo" Aetius dismissed "why was the town gathered in one place?"

"I'LL LET DIS TO THE TALKIN' FO ME, BIZZOOOOOY!" Smoker handed Aetius a newspaper clipping.

Clipping: The citizens of Nitonnec gathered near Central River from 11:30 to midnight to christen the new 'South Bridge'. The bridge is expected to increase trade and transportation between the two 'sides' of the island. Despite a sudden downpour that ended a weeklong drought, attendance was amazingly high; census indicates a mere eight people were missing for this celebration.

_Wow… according to this article… only _eight _people could have committed this crime… well actually, barring the victim and myself, six._

"I wasn't there too, remember?" added Hina.

_How could I forget? Five then._

"All right, Big Smoky" Aetius stopped. _What else can I ask him about?_

"Run out of material, haven't you, Mr. Barrister?" Mawelyr shook his head. "It's just bad luck. You can't help getting a guilty client," he said, sounding much more insulting then his words would betray.

"OF COURSE NOT!" yelled back Aetius, sounding much less confident then his words would betray "BIG SMOKY! Tell me… ABOUT THE REPORT!" _It's something…_

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Barrister is clearly grasping, your honor!" Mawelyr interjected "I motion that cross-examination of this witness be suspended immediately!"

**OBJECTION!**

"I'M NOT GRASPING!" lied Aetius. "Unless we know the full implications of this report…"

"PROPER JUDGEMENT CANNOT BE PASSED!!"

Hustle bustle fuss'll

"BLUFFING TO THE MAX!" Hina whispered loudly "Hina is proud of you…"

_Confidence returning… third person… so cute…_

"BIG SMOKY!"

"WHAAAAT?" Smoker jumped "DON'T SURPRISE ME LIKE DAT POSER!!"

I'm_ a poser? Objection!_

"This report says that with 'the length of the rope as it is' a person would have to be able to lift eight hundred pounds to commit the murder, yes?"

"DAS RIGHT FOO!"

"Are we to assume, then, that if the rope were _longer_ the person would have to exert less force?"

"Um…"

"After all" Aetius added 'How does the saying go? 'With a long enough rope and a place to drape it over, I can hang the world?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"The quote you're so badly quoting is about levers and fulcrums!" Mawelyr cringed. "Besides that, who cares if a change in the length of the rope would change anything? The rope is what it is, it's not even four feet long after the noose!"

"And don't you find that odd?" Aetius asked. "The ceiling of this courthouse is pretty high…"

"HOW DID THE MURDERER HANG MR. DREYFUS WITH SUCH A SHORT ROPE??"

Hustle Bustle Rustle.

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER! MR. BARRISTER, EXPLAIN YOURSELF, ME BOY!"

"The rope was only four-feet long!" iterated Aetius. "Yet these ceilings are at least twenty feet high!"

"MR. SMOKER! HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?"

"Well…" Smoker said, looking a bit mortified. "We assumed the killer knocked him out and used a ladder or the benches..."

**OBJECTION!**

"But the autopsy report clearly shows that there were no other marks on this victim's body!" Aetius slammed the wall behind him. "FURTHERMORE! Mr. Flex is a large man! If he had struck Mr. Dreyfus in the head…"

"IT IS MORE THAN LIKELY THAT THE JUDGE WOULD HAVE DIED THEN AND THERE!"

"ACK!" yelled Smoker. "WHA-WHA-WHA… WHA-WHA-WHA… BIZZ BIZZZ BIZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOYYY?? AAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"

"MR. SMOKER, CALM DOWN!" yelled Mawelyr.

"CAn't… loSINg… plaYEr sTAtuS…."

"Try one of these" he held out a cigar.

"What?" Smoker stopped. "Dude… Gs don't let Gs smoke."

"Don't worry about that," implored Mawelyr "these are tobacco-free… and I find they have a calming effect on the Smoker."

Smoker took the cigar warily, lit it, and clamped down.

"The eucalyptus is rather soothing, don't you agree?" asked Mawelyr.

"Yeah…" murmured Smoker. "I feel so… calm… collected… in charge." He straightened up, ripping his sunglasses off. "It's like you've turned me into a completely different person Mr... um..."

"I tend to have that effect on people" the prosecutor interrupted. Mawelyr was certainly not a humble man.

Smoker nodded. "Barrister."

"…?" questioned Aetius.

"You're right about that discrepancy, for sure… but what does it mean? What are you trying to prove by it?"

"Well…" Aetius paused "I proved that the murderer could've used a longer rope!" He smiled.

Silence.

"Mr. Barrister…" sighed Mawelyr. "I think I speak for everyone when I ask… 'so what'? Whether the rope was four feet long or unlimited, it does not disprove that Mr. Flex was the murderer! This line of questioning has been _pointless!_"

**OBJECTION!**

"Not true," stated Aetius.

"…?" questioned Mawelyr.

"While I have not completely proven, as of yet, that Mr. Flex is innocent…"

"I HAVE PROVEN THAT HE IS NOT THE ONLY PERSON CAPABLE OF COMMITTING THIS CRIME!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"WHAAAAAAT? WHEN DID YOU DO THAT?" yelled Mawelyr.

"The report only says that 'with things as they are' the murdered must have been able to lift eight-hundred pounds of weight…"

"BUT WITH A LONGER ROPE, THE AMOUNT NEEDED TO LIFT MR. DREYFUS WOULD BE LOWERED SIGNIFICANTLY!"

"YIPPEEEEEE!" yelled Flex from the defendant's chair.

Hustle Bustle Rustle Muscle.

BANG! BANG! BANG! "Why, you're absolutely right Mr. Barrister!" conceded Judge Hamilton "with such a fact, and the dismissing of the evidence tying Mr. Flex to the crime scene that day…"

"THEERE'S ENOUGH REASONABLE DOUBT TO END THIS CASE NOW, ME BOY!"

**AHBJECHSEEEN!**

"Don't. Ever. Say. That. Again." Mawelyr glared.

"Gulp, me boy!" Hamilton gulped.

"While Mr. Barrister's precious contradictions open up the _possibility_ that another person killed Mr. Dreyfus…"

"THE TESTIMONY OF THE NEXT WITNESS WILL PROVE FLEX'S GUILT BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT!!"

**OBJECTON!**

"BUT! YOU SAID THERE WERE NO MORE WITNESSES!" Aetius declared, well, whined really.

"Tsk tsk tsk." Mawelyr laughed. "I said there were no _direct_ witnesses he clarified. "THERE IS, HOWEVER, A WITNESS WHO CAN VERIFY MR. FLEX'S WHEREABOUTS THAT DAY!"

Courtroom crowd go _craaaaaaaaaaazyyyyyy!_

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER!! ORDER!! ORRRRDEEEEEEEEEEEER ME BOOOOOOOOOOOYSSSSSSS!!" Hamilton screamed to no avail.

Nitonnec Detention Center. 8/19, Present Day. 5:23 pm.

"The crowd became so riled that the judge had to break for a twenty-minute recess!" Hina remembered.

"Wow!" said Zoro, fixated on every word. "That's really amazing! This Aetius guy is _great! _Don't you think Nami?"

"SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE" snored Nami.

"OH C'MON, THAT'S JUST DISRESPECTFUL!"

Nami remained asleep.

_The irony of it all… usually _I'm_ asleep, and _she's _telling me to pay attention and not to be rude._

"Speaking words of wisdom… let her be," whispered Hina. "Shall I continue?"

"Sure! Keep going! Right this second!"

Hina mused. "I wonder how long a second takes in an alternate dimension…"

"Well I'm not sure…" Zoro pondered "but I wouldn't think more than a few days… maybe a little more than a week, if that?"

"I suppose it's not important," admitted Hina. "Alright then, what happened next is…"

See you guys next week!

-

To those trying to solve the case: The only thing I can say is pay attention to _he-he-heeeeeeeverything._ Who is the real killer? Remember not to rule out anybody just because they're a 'good guy'. And don't automatically assume Hina is innocent either. Just saying.

-

-

-

And, if I really wanted to be evil, I could make the killer some random person whose only been mentioned once in the entire story. Wouldn't that be fun?


	10. Next Witness

Disclaimer: Whoa! Gorgon Zolo Tenniversary!

Nami: SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!

Zoro: Um… wow, ten chapters…all I can say is, I'm honored, truly, I am.

Sanji: _Again._

Zoro: What?

Sanji: Think about it! Every Amaxing fic with ten chapters or more… they're about you! WHEN AM I GONNA GET SOME LIMELIGHT!? I COULD BE THE _GREATEST_ MAIN CHARACTER _EVEEEEEEEER!!_

**OBJECTION!**

Zoro: Huh? Hey! Don't look at me I could care less.

Sanji: Then who?

Skyler: AMAXING DOESN'T OWN ONE PIECE OR NINTENDO!!

Silence.

Sanji: What does that have to do with _anything?_

Nami: And… ACTION!

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/20, Ten Years Ago. 6:34 pm.

BANG!

"This trial of Mr. Robert Flex will now reconvene!" Bellowed Hamilton. "Mr. Mawelyr, I believe that you were about to call your next witness?"

"Yes, your honor. This witness will be able to prove, beyond doubt, that Mr. Flex did indeed go to the courthouse that day!"

_If that happens… well, it's pretty much over, isn't it?_

"Pretty much" agreed Hina.

The witness took the stand.

"Name. Occupation."

"My name is Alexander Bell" the middle-aged judge nodded "I am a judge in the Nitonnec Circuit Court."

_A judge as a witness? Why do I get the premonition this isn't going to go well?_

"Maybe you're a prophet, Barry!" offered Hina.

_Um… sacrilege?_

"Alex?" asked Hamilton "how are you related to this case?"

"You need to learn to listen better, Tom." Bell smiled. "I saw… well, I suppose I'll leave that for my testimony."

-What I saw-

"I was heading towards the south bridge from my house."

"I passed the courthouse on my way, and that's when I saw Mr. Flex!"

"He was darting his head back and forth, as if making sure he wasn't seen."

**OBJECTION!**

"Your honor, that's strictly a matter of opinion. I motion it be stricken from the record!" held Aetius.

Hamilton nodded, and slammed his gavel. "Sustained, my boy. You may continue with your testimony Alex."

-Further Testimony-

"I saw Mr. Flex enter the courthouse; it was around 11:45."

"I thought, and yes this is strictly opinion, but I thought he looked suspicious, so I waited outside."

"Maybe ten or twelve minutes later, he came out."

-End Testimony-

"Almost too good to be true, wouldn't you say?" taunted Mawelyr. He gestured dramatically with his left hand. "I believe that this clears any doubts about the defendant's presence… and guilt."

_Too good to be true? You took the words right out of my mouth._

"Mr. Barrister" directed Hamilton "you may begin your cross-examination, me boy."

"Thank you your honor." Aetius turned towards Bell. "Mr. Bell, you remarked that you felt Mr. Flex looked suspicious… do you care to elaborate on that?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"As Mr. Barrister has said previously, such a question is strictly a matter of opinion! It has no bearing on this case!"

**OBJECTION!**

"People just don't assume that complete strangers look suspicious!" retorted Aetius "Mr. Bell must have had quite a good _reason_ to be suspicious, especially if it motivated him to stay behind and look!"

Hamilton nodded again. "Sustained, my boy. You will answer the question Alex."

Mawelyr grit his teeth, and clenched his left fist in fury. Had he just been overruled?

"It's like I said before… he was darting his head back and forth. The way in which he did it led me to believe that he was making sure nobody saw him," Bell explained.

"If that's the case…" questioned Barrister "then why didn't he see you?"

"Huh?" asked Bell.

"Well, I mean, the area around the courthouse is just a big open square…" Aetius hinted "and considering there was nobody on it that night, one would think he'd see you."

"You have a point…" Bell admitted, "I suppose I was just in a blind spot or something." Bell smiled. "I guess I got lucky."

_Damn it… usually that would shake the witness' confidence… but he knew just from hearing it that it wasn't a conclusive contradiction! Whatever law allows judges to be witnesses should be dragged out into the street and shot._

"Was that the only reason you found him suspicious?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, was he wearing anything out of the ordinary?"

"I don't think so… he had on almost exactly what he's wearing now…"

"And you're sure it was Mr. Flex?"

"Yes."

"And there was no one else there at the time?"

"No."

"Why were you so sure it was Mr. Flex? It was dark and raining outside after all."

"The man I saw was large and muscular, abnormally so; his build was much like the defendant's in other words."

"Couldn't that have been Judge Dreyfus?"

"No. A look at a photo of the crime will show you that Judge Dreyfus wasn't wearing a sleeveless shirt and gym shorts when he was killed. That, and the man I saw had hair."

"And it was only his actions that made you think he was suspicious looking?"

"Yes."

"And you're absolutely sure he wasn't _wearing_ anything that made you find him suspicious?"

"As I said before, his clothes were near-identical to what he's wearing now."

"And he wasn't carrying anything suspicious?"

"No."

**OBJECTION!**

_Yeah noob! Rapid-fire questioning pwns! Hail teh 1337 Aetius!_

"Wrong century, Barry" scolded Hina.

"Mr. Bell, if what you say is true…"

"THEN THIS MURDER NEVER HAPPENED!"

"WHAT?" yelled a shocked Alex.

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! ORDER! MR. BARRISTER! EXPLAIN YOURSELF, ME OLD BOY!" Hamilton bellowed.

"Mr. Bell has just testified that Mr. Flex was carrying nothing suspicious! If such is the case…"

"HOW DID THE MURDER WEAPON MAKE IT TO THE CRIME SCENE?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"It's simple!" Mawelyr shrieked. "For Mr. Flex to have committed the murder, he only required a four-foot long rope!"

"HE COULD HAVE EASILY HIDDEN SUCH A ROPE IN A POCKET!

**OBJECTION!**

"But then we run into another contradiction!" Aetius pointed out. "Mr. Bell has also testified that Mr. Flex was wearing the same thing that night as he is at this very moment!"

"AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, HIS OUTFIT HAS NO POCKETS!!"

"ARGH!" Mawelyr clutched his right shoulder. "YOU! BELL!" he screamed.

"AGH! What? What do you want?" the witness gasped.

"Fix this testimony! NOW!"

"Um… well…" Bell smiled, embarrassed. "I guess I must have missed the rope…"

Aetius stood for a moment, mouth agape. "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TRY AND GET AWAY WITH THAT?" he yelled, after he was done being shocked.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Bell has not described any part of Mr. Flex's appearance with much detail" Mawelyr pointed out "it is quite possible that he overlooked the rope."

**OBJECTION!**

"If the witness didn't see something like that, then the witness couldn't have seen much else about Mr. Flex! This entire testimony should be stricken from the record!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Normally, you would be correct, Mr. Barrister" Mawelyr conceded, regaining his composure "but seeing as there are no other ridiculously huge and muscular individuals who do not have an alibi for the time of the murder on this island, this testimony is perfectly admissible."

_Double damn it!_

"Sustained" Hamilton slammed his gavel "however, I think it would be wise to obtain further testimony from the witness, me old boy."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME OLD BOY?" screamed Mawelyr.

"URK! Yes! Sorry, Mr. Mawelyr. Force of habit, you know."

"What should I testify about?" asked Bell.

"Tell us about your movements and what you saw during the ten minutes you waited outside" Aetius suggested.

The judge (the one on the witness stand) nodded. "Very well than, Mr. Barrister, as you wish."

-Those ten minutes-

"It's like I said, I thought there was something suspicious about Mr. Flex for some reason or another."

"I waited outside the courthouse."

"I thought I heard a stifled yell… so I moved in a bit closer and waited by the door."

"Then I saw Mr. Flex come out of the courthouse."

"I checked inside to see what had happened and…"

"I saw Liberty just hanging there… it was horrible…"

-End Testimony-

"So you were the one who called the police?" probed Aetius.

"Yes… I immediately ran to the police station, where I found Chief Petty Officer Smoker and told him about the crime."

_So if Judge Bell and Smoker weren't at the bridge christening… that cuts it down to _three_ people who could have committed the murder!_

"What time was that?" Aetius asked.

"I don't know… I'm not in the _best_ shape… maybe it was 12:25, 12:30 when I made it to the station?"

It is all the way across town… I suppose that's about normal…

"Object to that!" demanded Hina. "I could run that distance in less than twenty minutes! There's ten minutes unaccounted for!"

Aetius just stared. "Hina, darling, I can't object based on somebody else's ability."

"Oh…"

"So you found the body almost immediately after the time of the murder?" Aetius continued.

"Yes, that's about right," Bell confirmed. "That puts it at around midnight, no?"

Aetius nodded. "Just one more thing… you said that you were waiting by the door when Mr. Flex came out?"

"Yes, that's right" Bell confirmed.

"Wouldn't you have been able to see him better than?"

"I'm not sure I understand the question…"

Aetius scratched the back of his neck. "It's just that… in your earlier testimony, you were pretty vague in your description of Mr. Flex… if you were right by the door, shouldn't you have gotten a clear look at him?"

"Well…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Don't forget it was dark out during the incident!" Mawelyr interjected. "Not only that, but 'outside the door' is quite vague… Mr. Bell could have been twenty feet away for all you know!"

"That's why I want him to clear this up" Aetius defended. "Mr. Bell? Where exactly were you when Mr. Flex came out of the building?"

"I was… right up against the side of the building" Bell said quickly. "When the door swung open, it blocked my line of sight, so I didn't see anything of Mr. Flex but his back."

"So you're saying you were right next to the door?" Aetius tensed.

"Yes."

**OBJECTION!**

"I'm sorry, Judge Bell" Aetius began.

"BUT AT THIS POINT, I CAN CALL YOU NOTHING BUT A LIAR!"

"WHAT?" yelled Bell, in his courtroom voice. "WHAT KIND OF OUTRAGE IS THIS?"

"Take a good look at this photograph, your honor." Both Bell and Hamilton strained to look. "Recall that on the night of the murder, it was _raining_ heavily! If Judge Bell had truly been standing near the door…"

"HIS FOOTRPRINTS WOULD BE SEEN IN THE MUD! YET THE GARDEN AROUND THE COURTHOUSE IS CLEARLY UNDISTURBED!"

"ACK!" yelled Bell.

"MR. BELL!" accused Aetius. "YOU'RE LYING!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Barrister!" Mawelyr scolded. "Do you realize what you are saying? You are accusing an upholder of the law of _perjury!_ That is ridiculous!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Aetius yelled back. "Whether he is normally an upholder of the law or not, the fact remains that he is still lying! Unless, of course, you can come up with an explanation, Mr. Mawelyr?"

"Erm… well…" Since when did he not have an immediate comeback? "Perhaps the rain washed the footprint away!" he finally asserted. He straightened up. "THAT'S RIGHT! Enough rain would have erased any trace of Mr. Bell's presence!"

"Urk!" _Double damn in a tram! And déjà vu again!_

Judge Hamilton nodded. "The prosecution makes a valid point, me old boy." He shook his head. "And besides that… why would Alex lie?"

"What?" Aetius asked, confused.

"What the judge is so wisely pointing out" Mawelyr sneered, gesturing with his left hand, "is that Mr. Bell has no reason to want Mr. Flex convicted! He has no past history with the defendant, and stands nothing to gain from having him sent to Impel Down!" He pointed dramatically with his left pointer finger. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT, MR. BARRISTER??"

"ACK!" Aetius replied.

Hustle Bustle Rustle Muscle Tussle Trestle Wrestle Whistle Missile Missal.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! ORDEEEEER!" yelled Hamilton.

"I WILL HAVE **ORDER!**" yelled Bell. The crowd quieted down.

"Thanks, Alex" smiled Judge Hamilton. "Would you mind clearing this up for us? Please prove to Mr. Barrister you have no reason to commit perjury."

"With pleasure, Tom."

_Talk about a partisan judge!_

-Why would I lie?-

"It's just as Mr. Mawelyr said really, I have no reason to lie."

"I've never even _met_ Mr. Flex before today, except for in passing."

"And it's not like I'm after anything he owns and hoping to get it if he dies."

"Heck, if it weren't for me being a witness, I'd have no connection to this case at all!"

"There's absolutely no reason I would falsely accuse Mr. Flex!"

-End Testimony-

"You see, me boy?" Hamilton poked "No reason whatsoever."

**OBJECTION!**

"No reason but the obvious one" Aetius murmured. "I ask the court, what is the usual reason that witnesses lie in court?"

"Well… in my experience…" Hamilton mused, "A witness lies, in a murder case, to cover their own guilt or someone else's… GASP!" The judge looked at Aetius with a shocked expression. "MR. BARRISTER, YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING…"

"But I am your honor" Aetius nodded firmly. _Time to deep-six this guy!_

"MR. BELL IS COVERING FOR SOMEONE!!"

"WHAAAAAT?" yelled Mawelyr. "Where… WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU PULL THAT FROM?!"

"Try to follow my logic, Mr. Mawelyr" Aetius said with a Mawelyr-like sneer "this is my reasoning! First of all, let's go back to my first major objection…"

"About the length of the rope?" asked Hamilton.

"Yes, you memory is impeccable, your honor." Aetius smiled. "I believe I proved that if the rope had been longer, a different man could have committed the crime!"

"BUT!" objected Mawelyr "The rope _isn't_ longer than four feet, so that's completely useless!"

"As the _defense attorney_ I'm working on the principle that Mr. Flex is _not the murderer!_ Try to keep up, will ya?"

Mawelyr winced. Had he just been insulted?

"ANYWAY!" Aetius continued. "This raises an interesting question… _what happened to the rest of the rope?_ And more importantly, where did the murderer get so much rope? To reach up to the ceiling and back from the ground, he'd need more than forty feet of the stuff!"

"I suppose you're going to answer that question yourself?" Mawelyr asked, clenching his left fist.

Aetius nodded. He said two words. "Devil Fruit."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"DEVIL FRUIT IS NOT AN ADMISSABLE EXCUSE!" Mawelyr protested. "I could explain a man _coming back to life as a skeleton_ as the work of a devil fruit! There's no way to concretely show that a devil fruit could tie into this!"

**OBJECTION!**

"Actually, I have concrete proof right here" Aetius grinned, chest puffed up proudly.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Mawelyr shrieked, his eyes twitching.

"I have here a list from the local devil fruit registrar," Aetius said, holding up a slip of paper. "I'd like to point out the name of one of the fruits on this list… the 'rope-rope' fruit."

"WHAT ELSE WOULD SUCH A FRUIT DO, BUT GIVE THE EATER THE ABILITY TO USE UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF ROPE?"

"AGH!" Mawelyr clutched his right shoulder. "But… but…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Be that as it may, it has nothing to do with this case! And don't forget, what you're trying to prove here is _why Mr. Bell would lie_, not _how Mr. Dreyfus may have been killed!_"

"But in this case, they are one and the same!" Aetius's words resounded through the room.

"What?" Mawelyr's voice came out in a raspy whisper.

"If you could kindly read the _name_ next to 'Rope-Rope' fruit on this list, Mr. Mawelyr?"

Mawelyr took the list from Aetius. His eyes widened. "Graham…Graham… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL?!"

COURTROOM GET RILED! COURTROOM SMASH!

"IS THAT PROOF ENOUGH FOR YOU?" yelled Aetius.

"MR. BELL IS LYING BECAUSE HE SUSPECTS THAT HIS _OWN SON_ IS THE MURDERER!!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDEEER! ORDEEEEEEEER!!" screamed Hamilton.

"ALEXANDER BELL!" Aetius interrogated, his pointer finger stretched out dramatically, "DO YOU DENY THIS?!"

Bell began to hyperventilate. He shook, twitched, grasped the witness stand until a piece of it broke off in his hand. "No…. no….."

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

After twenty minutes, the courtroom was quiet enough for the trial to proceed.

"Alex?" asked Judge Hamilton "has everything you said up to this point been a lie?"

"Y-y-yes… yes your honor." Bell hung his head. "I never saw Mr. Flex that night. I only saw a man fleeing from the courthouse… a smaller man, who could not have been Mr. Flex… and, of course, I found the body…"

"But why did you assume that it was your son?" asked Aetius. "It could have been _anyone…_"

"That is true…" Bell admitted. "At least it _would_ have been… except I found this in the bushes…" He slowly and begrudgingly took out a small pocket watch from his pocket.

"This is Graham's?" asked Hamilton, knowing the answer already.

"Yes Tom…" Bell replied sadly. Yes, it is…"

"Very well" Hamilton nodded. "Ac…accepted into evidence."

Graham's pocket watch: A small gold, mud-covered timepiece, monogrammed with the initials G.B. Mechanism is broken; clock is stopped at 11:55. Belongs to Graham Bell.

"I believe that no further witnesses are required then, your honor" Aetius smiled sadly. _Poor judge Bell…_ "It is very clear from this testimony" he continued" that the man who killed Liberty Dreyfus…"

"WAS NOT ROBERT FLEX!!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Not so fast" Mawelyr glared. "Who are you to pick and choose which parts of this testimony are true?"

"What?" asked Aetius.

"You have called Mr. Bell a liar all throughout this trial. Now, when he says something favorable to your case, he becomes a bearer of solid testimony?"

"I CAN PLAY YOUR GAME TOO, BARRISTER!" yelled Mawelyr indignantly. "The prosecution holds that this latest bit of testimony from the witness is false, and has only been given under intense emotional pressure from Mr. Barrister!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?" Aetius jumped back. _Can he do that?_

"I don't see why not," commented Hina. "I know you don't notice, Barry, but some people will say or do _anything_ to get you to shut up."

_From my own Fiancée? Ah, c'mon, that's adding insult to injury!_

"If that's the case, Mr. Mawelyr" Aetius recovered "then substantiate your claim!"

"SHOW US EVIDENCE THAT THIS STATEMENT IS A LIE!"

"I don't have evidence, per se" admitted Mawelyr "but there is a way to disprove your little theory once and for all."

"And what's that?" Aetius challenged.

"THE PROSECUTION REQUESTS THAT GRAHAM BELL TAKE THE STAND!"

Hina sees courtroom. See courtroom hustle and bustle. Hustle and bustle courtroom! Hina sees courtroom hustle and bustle.

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! ORDEEEER!" cried the Hamilton. "If you could explain your reasoning, Mr. Mawelyr?"

Mawelyr gripped his right elbow in tired frustration and rolled his eyes. "Aetius Barrister's accusation rests on a single principle, the principle that Mr. Graham Bell is the _true killer!_"

**OBJECTION!**

"I've said nothing of the sort!" Aetius protested. "I have only claimed, thus far, that Judge Bell has reason to _suspect_ his son of murder!"

"Fine" sighed Mawelyr. "The prosecution will prove, then, that Mr. Bell has no reason to suspect his son of murder, and that his recent claim is only a result of emotional abuse."

"HEY!" Aetius protested. _Don't make _me_ sound like the bad guy!_

"Just remember, Barry" Hina noted, "To him, you _are_ the bad guy."

"I… guess I never thought about it that way" Aetius admitted.

The judge nodded his head in understanding. "This court will now convene for a twenty minute recess, during which Mr. Graham Bell will be detained and brought in to testify." He slammed his gavel. "Court is now in recess!"

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby. 8/20, Ten Years Ago. 7:56 pm.

"We've got him on the ropes now!" Hina cheered, not even realizing the horribly inappropriate pun she had just made.

"You're amaxing Mr. Barrister!" yelled Flex. "SIMPLY AMAXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!"

_Amaxing? What a dumb word. And I'm not exactly sure I'm in complete control here…_

"Thanks Mr. Flex." Aetius said uncertainly.

"I TOLD YOU!" whined Flex. "You can call me BO!!"

"Alright then… thank you, Bo." Aetius said politely."

"Do you really think Mr. Bell's _son_ is the murderer?" asked Hina. "You think being the son of a judge would teach him not to do that kind of thing!"

"Well…" mused Aetius "I suppose the apple doesn't _always_ not fall far from the tree…"

"What?" Hina cocked her head, confused.

"Nothing…" Aetius said softly, leaning in and kissing Hina.

Hina smiled. She'd never been happier in all her life.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO HAPPY AND LOVEY DOVEY WHEN I'M ON TRIAL FOR MUUUUURDEEEEEEER!!" complained/screeched Bo.

They didn't hear him.

Part two of the trial is finite! You know, when I started writing the flashback trial, I thought I could squeeze it all into a single chapter, yet here we are, and it looks like Aetius is going to get at least one more chapter as the main character. Do you like him?

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(And for those of you wondering where the name comes from, he's named after 'Flavius Aëtius', a roman general who defeated Attila the Hun.)


	11. So it goes

An announcement: Tomorrow is May 2nd. As none of you may know, it will be the one-year anniversary of Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc.  
I'm conceited, so I figured you'd all might like to know that.  
And now, the year in review.  
Zuko: Well it all started with...  
Skyler: MY TURN!  
Disclaimer: All your anything aren't belong to us.

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/20, Ten Years Ago. 8:19 pm.

The new face on the witness stand was a young adult, maybe mid to late twenties. His thick, black, wavy hair moved minutely in the soft night draft that flowed through the courtroom. He was on the shorter side, and somewhat slender; when viewed from afar he may very well have been mistaken for a woman. When asked his name and occupation, however, his deep, resonate voice made it very clear that this… was a man.

"HELLOOOOOO NITONNEC!!" Graham Bell shouted. "Graham Bell here, reporting for duty sirs! Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? I like how even though we're nearing the end of August and things are supposed to be getting colder, it's still warm enough to wear a sleeveless shirt! That's what I love about summer islands… they're so… so… SUMMERY! Or… wait, is that spelled 'summary'? English is a weird language, you know? I've never understood why we say 'right' to mean opposite of left _and_ opposite of wrong! Does that make wrong and left synonyms? And if it does, does that mean that liberals should be offended whenever somebody speaks English? Why _do_ we all speak English, anyway? I mean, we all live on an island, in an alternate world where the country of England or Great Britain or the United Kingdom or _whatever_ they call themselves these days… but they don't even exist! And it kind of makes you wonder how I even know that if they don't, doesn't it? Ah, to break the fourth wall… and again, I have no idea what that means, since television, movies, and even good literature haven't been invented yet…"

_Oh… my stomach… my poor stomach… and my déjà vu again…_

"The guy certainly likes to belabor, doesn't he?" commented Hina.

"What?"

"Belabor! You know, it means 'to talk a lot'!"

"HEY! I LIKE THAT WORD!" Bell cheered. "It sounds so… amaxing… hmm, and how do I know that _that_ word exists, seeing as it was invented by a fan fiction writer in the twentieth century and we're _clearly_ somewhere around the thirteenth…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"That's quite enough, Mr. Bell" Mawelyr said pleadingly. "If you could testify as to your whereabouts on the night of the crime? And more specifically, if and when your father knew this?"

"SURE!" cheered Graham. "I'd be happy to!"

_Not exactly the attitude of a killer, huh… but it _has_ to be him! There's no other way!_

"True enough" confirmed Hina.

-What I Told My Dad-

"I met my dad after work on the evening of the 19th, and we had dinner."

"He last saw me at 8:13. I always check my watch after dinner, if you're wondering how I know; it's a bit of a quirk of mine. Why I recall a time…"

**OBJECTION! + AHBJECSHEEEN! **(A/N: _not_ a Yaoi pairing).

"MOVE ON WITH THE TESTIMONY!" Barrister and Mawelyr yelled, in agreement for the first time.

"Fine… fine…" Graham whimpered.

-Further Testimony-

"I told him my plans to go the bridge christening that evening, which I did."

"I got there at around 11:30, and I stayed until it was over at 12:30, despite the rain."

"On my way back, I stumbled on the investigation, already in progress."

"Dad ran up to me, told me everything, and he was with me up until he came to testify today."

-End Testimony-

"A remarkably solid testimony, devoid of any falsehoods, opinionated statements, or other such legal wastes of time, no?" smiled Graham. "It comes naturally really, what with father being a judge and all. Did I ever tell you the story of…"

**OBJECTION!**

"Your honor, the witness is telling a narrative," Aetius posited. "I move that it be stricken from the record."

"Sustained." Hamilton slammed his gavel, relieved.

(A/N: Not a joke. Lawyers really _can_ object to narratives, or questions that require such.)

"Your cross-examination, Mr. Barrister?" Hamilton asked.

"I'll make it short and sweet, your honor." Aetius stared directly into Graham Bell's eyes. "Do you claim, Mr. Graham Bell, that you were at the bridge christening from 11:30 until 12:30? Do you _really_ claim that?"

"Y-y-y…" Graham faltered for the first time. "Yes?"

**OBJECTION!**

"THEN EXPLAIN THIS!!" accused Aetius, holding out the pocket watch. "This is yours, is it not?"

"HEY! You found it!" Graham said "I thought I'd dropped it when… urk!"

"When what?" Aetius asked innocently.

"Erm… well…"

"Maybe I can piece the end of that sentence together," interrupted Aetius. This pocket watch was found outside this very building. You'll notice, of course, how it's stopped at 11:55? One can only conclude, seeing as there is mud all over it, that it stopped when it was _dropped_."

"AND THAT TIME IS MERE _MINUTES_ BEFORE LIBERTY DREYFUS WAS KILLED!!"

"AGH!" yelled Graham.

Courtroom… goes crazy…. Yeah…

BANG! BANG! BANG! "ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER!" yelled Hamilton. "GRAHAM! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? DID YOU REALLY…"

"NO!" protested Graham. "I DIDN'T! THIS GUY…. HE MUST HAVE USED FORGED EVIDENCE OR SOMETHING!!"

"Your own father gave us this" Hina asserted "and rather reluctantly too. He was determined to cover up your crime."

"WHAAAAT?? WHY! YOU!! YOU…. Who are you?"

"Hina!"

"YOU SCOUNDREL HINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" yelled Bell.

_HEY! _I _pointed out the contradiction! ME!_

"But you're not beautiful, Barry" teased Hina.

_Well, yeah, but… HEY!_

"I'M NOT GOING TO ACCEPT THIS!" yelled Graham, focusing the court's attention on him. "You're just like those _fundamentalists_ who rejected Charles Darwin's _Origin of Species!_ Moved by your blind and determined faith, you fail to see the _logical loopholes _in your argument! In a couple of years, you may very well being putting some poor teacher from Tennessee_ on trial_ for the trivial act of _TEACHING EVOLUTION_, a right that every teacher has and can not be infringed upon by any basis then your stupid, blind…"

"Mr. Bell… I happen to _not_ believe in evolution… if not for the sole reason that it hasn't been theorized yet…" Barrister noted. "Also, try not to make this story too political, we may lose readers" he added, thinking of the profit motive.

"CAPITALIST PIGS!" yelled a Marxist onlooker.

"International controversy… we're sparking an international controversy…" muttered Mawelyr.

"AHEM!" The judge cleared his throat, saving the trial from endless digression. "Graham Bell, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Well… I… you see… it… couldn't…." sputtered Graham.

"Come again?" asked Aetius.

"IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled Graham, causing the courtroom to murmur conspiratorially (well, OK, they weren't conspiring, but you get the idea).

"And would you care to explain why?" asked Mawelyr, seeming suddenly apathetic to the whole trial.

"Well… YES!" Bell nodded. "I… I'LL TESTIFY!"

Hamilton nodded. "Very well, Mr. Bell, you may tell us why you couldn't commit the crime."

"RIGHT!"

-It couldn't be me!-

"First of all, I don't know _how_ you have your hands on my watch!"

"I stand by what I said! I wasn't anywhere _near_ the courthouse that night!"

"Besides that, look at me! I'm scrawny as anything!"

"There's no way I could have lifted him off the floor and hung Grandpa!"

-End Testimony-

"G-g-g…" stuttered Aetius. "G-g-g… GRANDPAAAAAAAA!!" he screamed, surprised.

Hamilton nodded (again). "Yes, Mr. Barrister. Liberty Dreyfus is Graham Bell's maternal grandfather."

"WHY WOULD I KILL MY OWN GRAMPS!!" protested Graham, crocodile tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm not… evil… I swear…"

_He puts on a good show… heck, I'm almost inclined to believe him… but he's _still lying!

_WHY WOULD HE LIE IF HE'S NOT THE REAL KILLER??_

"Mr. Bell" Aetius cross-examined "Do you seriously claim to have no way of lifting Mr. Dreyfus off the ground, and thereby no method of hanging him?"

"YES!" yelled an exasperated Graham Bell.

**OBJECTION!**

"LYING HARDLY MAKES YOU LOOK INNOCENT, GRAHAM BELL!" screamed Aetius.

"Whaaaaaaaaat?" asked Graham, seeming scared and confused. "What are you TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Have a look at this list!" Barrister held up the registrar's file.

"What… that's!"

"Solid proof that you have a method of lifting Mr. Dreyfus" Aetius finished.

"YOU HAVE UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF ROPE AT YOUR DISPOSAL!!"

"ACK!" yelled Bell, on the verge of collapse. "Um… well, yes… you see… I FORGOT ABOUT MY POWER!!"

**OBJECTION!**

"Need I remind the court" Aetius asked "that the ocean _turns against_ those who have eaten devil fruit? People who've eaten these fruit _can't swim_ a lick!"

"YOU LIVE ON AN ISLAND, MR. BELL!!" accused Aetius. "THAT YOU WOULD FORGET YOUR INABLITY TO SWIM IS INCONCEIVABLE!!"

"STOOOOOOOOP!" yelled Graham. "You… you… YOU CHEAT! STOP ACCUSING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

_Any second now, any second now we'll get a full confession…_

But Bell, instead of confessing, sunk his head into his arms and began to shake. He was either ridiculously scared… or a very good actor.

After a few minutes of silence, Mawelyr, still seeming apathetic to the proceedings, posed an idea to the witness. "Mr. Bell, perhaps you could show the court your devil fruit power? If you have nothing to hide, then surely it can not harm you…"

"You… you think it'll be OK Mr. Mawelyr?" Graham acted unsure.

"We won't know until it happens," replied Mawelyr with a gleam in his eye.

"O…ok…." Bell pulled his arm back, then flung it forward. A straw-colored rope flew out across the room, wrapped itself around Aetius' leg, and tripped him.

"AGH!" yelled Aetius as he fell down.

"Serves you right!" laughed Graham bitterly, suddenly flying into a rage. "IF I EVER LET MYSELF GO, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL _KILL…_ oh dear…" He sunk his head back into his arms.

"You have a bit of a violent disposition, don't you?" Aetius accused, righting himself.

"Well…."

"If you were to… say, get in a quarrel with your grandfather… and _let yourself go…_ well, the results would be rather _familiar_ don't you agree, your honor?"

His honor nodded (yet again) sadly. "It does add up to a rather convincing case, Mr. Barrister… as usual. Establishing Graham's presence at the crime scene… revealing his method of murder… and I know as well as anybody Graham is prone to violent outbursts… and good acting."

"MR. HAMILTON!!" yelled Graham. "You… you're not seriously!?"

"But I am" Hamilton looked at Graham sternly. "It is very clear to this court who you really are."

"Wait! No! I'm… I'M INNOCENT!! YOU CAN'T HONESTLY…"

"BAILIFF!" yelled Hamilton. "Take Mr. Bell away immediately! As for this trial, I see no need for further evidence. I find the defendant, Mr. Robert Flex…"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"HA!" cackled Mawelyr. "HA! HA HA!"

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" Graham yelled indignantly.

"It's just ironic, that's all." Mawelyr shook his head. "You see, Mr. Barrister…"

"THERE IS A FATAL _CONTRADICTION_ IN YOUR EXPLANATION!"

"WHAT?" yelled Aetius. "What are you talking about?"

"Would you kindly tell us the color of the rope Mr. Bell just produced?"

"Erm… well… it's straw-colored I suppose…"

"And the color of the murder weapon?"

"Well, it's…" Aetius gasped, "BLACK!"

Hustle bustle rustle.

"Care to explain that?" Mawelyr asked snidely.

"Well…" _Click_. "Mr. Bell's _hair_ is black!" Aetius deduced. "Maybe the color of the rope changes with what body parts produces it…"

"I only ate the fruit maybe a week ago…" Graham interjected "I barely have control over it as it is…"

_You tripped me well enough!_

"Well then… perhaps the rope changes color at night!" posited Aetius "the nature of devil fruit is, after all, unpredictable, and can sometimes vary with the situation!"

"Which makes it inexcusable as decisive evidence" Mawelyr stated.

Aetius was silent for a minute. He bit his lip. "You're right," he admitted.

Hamilton looked at Barrister sternly. "Do you have any evidence that can prove, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Graham Bell is the true murderer of Liberty Dreyfus?"

Aetius hung his head. _As much as I'd like to say yes… as much as I'd like to scream at the top of my lungs, point my finger, and dream up some cockamamie scheme that will eventually prove true…_ "I cannot, your honor" Aetius said finally.

The courtroom went crazy. Aetius Barrister, unable to present decisive evidence?" Impossible.

Mawelyr cackled. "Hard luck, Mr. Barrister. Although, I will admit…" his voice became soft for the first time "you are, without doubt, a masterful defense attorney…" Aetius looked up, and saw that Mawelyr's face showed sincere respect. "But it appears you have come up a penny short." He slammed his left fist against the wall.

"YOUR HONOR! END THIS TRIAL! THE DEFENDANT IS _GUILTY!!_"

"I can't do that, Mr. Mawelyr" Hamilton spoke.

"Wh-wh—WHAT?" Mawelyr was shocked. "WHY NOT?"

"While it is true that, as of now, Mr. Bell cannot be convicted of this crime owing to our limited understanding of devil fruit powers…"Hamilton gulped "due to that limited knowledge, he cannot be entirely removed from suspicion either." He straightened up, looking at Graham with sad eyes. "And that, more than anything, is reasonable doubt."

Graham looked at the judge with harsh, burning eyes. Nothing was verbalized, but it was clear to the entire court what he was saying in his mind… "I'll never forgive you, old man."

_Hamilton…_

"It must be so hard for him" Hina whispered "having to suspect his best friend's son of murder."

Aetius eyes filled with tears. "That kind of wisdom and self-sacrificial honor… it's just too much!" He whispered back.

"At this time" Hamilton continued, "this court is unable to say, beyond reasonable doubt, that Mr. Flex is a murderer. It is, therefore, out solemn duty to pronounce him…"

**NOT GUILTY**

There was not the normal celebration. There were no cheers, no yells of triumph; confetti did not fall magically from the sky. From every side of the courtroom, all that could be felt was suspicion, doubt, and unease.

"This court is adjourned!" Hamilton choked out, slamming his gavel.

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby. 8/20, Ten Years Ago. 9:32 pm.

Robert Flex sighed gratefully. "Cheer up, Mr. Barrister!" he smiled, wrapping his arm around Aetius' shoulder. "You did, after all, get me a 'not guilty'!"

"I know…" Aetius said sadly "but think about it, Bo… you'll never be fully above suspicion… and that man… that man will always be out there, not getting justice for his crime…"

"Even when you win them all, you can't win them all" Hina observed enigmatically.

Judge Hamilton passed by the hall outside the defendant's lobby. Aetius hesitated, and then ran after him. **HOLD IT! **"Judge Hamilton!"

Hamilton turned around slowly, his face wrinkled with age, worry, and curiosity. "Yes, Mr. Barrister?"

"Judge Hamilton… we can't let this case die here" Aetius said. "I… I don't think I'll be able to live with myself until I know the truth…"

Hamilton nodded (yet _yet_ again). "I know what you mean… especially in a case like this, the truth _must_ be uncovered eventually…"

"Then why not work together on it?" asked Hina, walking in between the two, smiling. The two men looked at her, confused. "We can look into the case and find out the truth easily if we cooperate." She smiled. "But at the same time, don't think you'll never get on with your lives if you don't know the truth."

_Hina… I love you…_

Hamilton seemed cheered up as well. "An excellent idea, Ms… Hina? Was it?"

Hina nodded.

Hamilton smiled, giving a courteous nod. "I'll be sure to keep in touch, me girl."

_Well… his mannerism is back, so I guess he's feeling better._

"C'mon Aetius!" Hina pulled his arm. "Let's go to _Chez Nitonnec! _I love their food!"

Aetius kissed her softly on the cheek. "What would I do without you?" he asked.

"I don't know, Barry" Hina mused. "I don't know…"

-

-

Nitonnec Square. 11/01, Ten Years Ago. 1:34 pm.

"I figured it out" Aetius told Hina frantically. "I know everything… God, I figured out _everything!_"

"About what?" Hina asked worriedly. "You mean about…"

"SH!" Aetius hushed, looking around. "I shouldn't tell you here... come to my place this evening, ok?"

"All right…" Hina blushed. "Should I wear anything special?" She asked seductively.

Aetius turned bright red. "Um… well… just bring this with you, I guess." He gave her a length of black rope.

"Um…" Hina was flustered. "Kinky?"

"It's nothing like that!" Aetius defended. "I just need you to keep it safe for me… just in case."

"Barry?" asked Hina, nervous.

"I've got to go, I'm sorry, dear" Aetius apologized. He turned to walk away, then stopped, turned around, dipped her, and gave her a long kiss.

"I love you," he told her when they broke apart.

"Oh… Barry, I know…" Hina whispered, out of breath.

Then he was gone.

Shimoshiki Village. 11/01, Ten Years Ago. 7:06 pm.

Roronoa Zoro, a wooden sword gripped in each hand, swung wildly at his opponent, Kuina. She swung at him, but he blocked. He twisted, turned, dipped back to dodge another swing from Kuina, and then struck at her sword with great force. Kuina gasped, her sword flew up, out of control, and she lost her balance.

_Yes! An opening!_ Thought Zoro. _I'm finally going to w…_ "AAAAAAAAAGH!!" he screamed. A sharp, unearthly pain shot through the front of Zoro's forehead. The force of the shock threw him back onto the ground. He skidded fifty feet, and finally stopped; he lay in a crumpled heap.

Kuina rushed over to him, calling for help at the same time. As Zoro faded from consciousness, Kuina reached him just in time to hear his last words.

"Ob……… Jec………Tion………"

Next Day. 8:04 pm.

"AGH!" Zoro woke with a start. He ached all over, and he was drenched in sweat.

"Finally up, eh Zoro?"

Zoro turned his head slowly, and found his Sensei standing at his bedside, smiling.

"Sensei…" he said weakly, smiling gratefully.

"I suppose you're a bit disappointed" Sensei joked. "Kuina is training to cover up that weakness of hers…you may never have an opportunity like that again, you know."

(A/N: If this were actually a part of the One Piece storyline, this would be called _foreshadowing_. Alas, I am cheated out of literary excellence by the fact that I do not own this manga.)

"What on earth happened to you?" asked Sensei after the author's note was complete.

"I sensed…" Zoro tried to explain "a… disturbance… as if a soul cried out in pain… and was silenced…"

"Really?" Sensei said, the smile fading slowly from his face.

"What does it mean?" Zoro asked, not liking the look on Sensei's face.

"It's just… it reminds me of something that happened to me when I was younger…" Sensei looked around furtively. "This doesn't leave this room?" he inquired.

"Sure" Zoro grunted, feeling a bit worried.

"I never planned on becoming a swordsman."

Zoro sighed in relief. "Is that all you were hiding?"

"No… you see, I was on my way to becoming a professional swimmer when…"

Zoro chuckled, trying to soften it so his teacher wouldn't hear. He winced, both from the effort of keeping the laughter in and the laughter that came out because the effort wasn't enough.

Sensei frowned and continued. "I was good, and I was on my way to the pros when… well, I suddenly got an unexplainable pain, right in the middle of my stomach. It threw me off the deck of the ship I was sailing on, and I floated through the ocean until I wound up on this island."

"What does this have to do with anything?" Zoro asked, politely as he could.

"Well, you see… it turned out that the old sensei from this island had been stabbed by bandits. Stabbed… in the stomach, and he had died." Sensei paused for a moment. "I had always fought with swords as a hobby, and it turned out that I was actually _really_ good by swordsman standards, because I easily whipped the bandits and saved the people of this island from their reign… that's when I became the sensei of this island." He shook his head. "My entire destiny… was changed that day." He looked at Zoro. "Do you see what I'm getting at?"

Zoro nodded weakly. "You think that perhaps this is the same thing… that I'm destined to take over for someone who got stabbed in the head?"

Sensei laughed slightly. "Well… something like that. It could just be a migraine for all we know."

Zoro laughed. It hurt. Both were silent for a moment. "Sensei…" Zoro began "if… it is the whole 'changed destiny' thing… what should I do?"

Sensei shook his head again. "Just pray that one day, you'll be able to fulfill your responsibility, and right whatever wrong has been committed." He smiled. "I did that… and I'm happy because of it."

Zoro nodded. "Wise, as usual, Sensei." There was silence now, and it would stay. Eventually, Sensei said his goodbyes and left. Zoro lay on his bed, and began to drift off to sleep.

Just before he fell asleep, Zoro, an atheist and therefore not what one would call a 'praying man', decided to take his Sensei's advice.

_Please… if this is a sign that my role in life has changed… please help me grow strong enough to accept this destiny…_

Then, he fell asleep. The next morning he completely recovered, and forgot all about his prayer.

Aetius Barrister's house. 11/01, Ten Years Ago. 7:06 pm.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Three shrill raps came from the doorway of Aetius' house. He hesitated in his chair; his body tensed.

He knew this was coming; he had understood. _It's just like in an H.P. Lovecraft story_ he mused, _the closer one gets to the truth, the closer one gets to… well, I won't spoil it._

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Slowly he rose from his chair; he could not wait long. Hina would be here any minute. _Although, I suppose it _could_ be Hina…_ he thought.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

He dismissed the thought. Hina would never knock so hardly and persistently.

He quickly crossed the room and reached the door. His hand reached for the doorknob, and stopped. _So it's come to this…_ he thought. A tear welled up in his eye. _Ten more days… why couldn't this have waited ten more days?_ He dismissed that thought as well, realizing that in ten days, Hina would be there with him. He couldn't have that.

He slowly turned the doorknob. He took a deep breath. He thought about his life, about his friends, his accomplishments, the reputation and respect he had earned himself, and, most importantly, Hina… He smiled. _I've led a good life_ he thought to himself.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

The knocker pounded the door now, determined that it be opened.

Aetius took another deep breath. "I regret nothing" he said to himself, and opened the door.

"Hello?"

BANG!

So it goes.


	12. Killer Unveiled, and Epilogue

Disclaimer: Virtual paper

Disclaimer: Virtual paper. Zero Dollars. Keyboard. One hundred dollars. Speakers to blast music with while writing. Fourteen thousand dollars (they are _sweeeet_). Owning One Piece? Can't be done.

There are some things money can't buy, no matter how hard it tries. For everything else? There's fan fiction.

Nitonnec Detention Center. 8/19, Present Day. 7:06 pm.

"The next day…" Hina said, tears falling from her eyes. "That's when Hina heard the news… that terrible, horrible news…" She choked, wiping away tears from her flooding eyes. "The news that Aetius Barrister… was dead."

Zoro sat back in his chair and stared, wide-eyed, across the room at the blonde-haired marine. _Dead? A man like that… dead?_ It was almost too much to bear. He tried to speak, but realized that words could not heal the tragedies that had been wrought upon her; could not take back the suffering she had gone through.

"Did they ever find out who did it?" Zoro asked, after a few minutes of silence had passed.

Hina shook her head. "No… The authorities tried… Judge Thomas tried… Hina tried… but it was all for nothing. It was a perfect crime." She sobbed again. "It wasn't fair!" she wailed. "All Hina's Barry ever wanted was to find the truth… and… and…"

"Enough" said Zoro, softly yet firmly.

Hina looked up, shocked.

Zoro straightened up. There was a newfound determination in his demeanor; the sense of unwillingness and bother that had plagued his performance thus far was gone. "You don't need to worry about this anymore," he said as he turned towards the door to leave. "I'm finishing this."

He began to walk away, then stopped, turned around and sighed. "Nami" he commanded "get up, there's work to be done."

Nami, who was snoring loudly, stirred and grunted softly. "Did you find everything you needed?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I need you to go to Detective Spade, ask him to search the judge's house for anything with Hina's name on it."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Trust me, it's for a reason."

"Oh… OK… what are you doing?"

"I'm going back to the ship for some sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Why are you so serious all of a sudden?"

Zoro stared at the floor for a moment, completely silent. "We've got bigger things on our hands right now" he said softly.

Nami looked at him for a minute, then smiled. "Alright… I trust you, Zoro."

Zoro nodded, then walked back to the Thousand Suns.

Outside Nitonnec Total Fitness. 8/19. 7:30 pm.

Roronoa Zoro walked slowly towards the Thousand Suns, mulling over the case in his head. He went over every detail, every single speck of information he had discerned over the past two days. His head hurt.

_Ka-Click_.

Zoro froze. The sound of a gun being cocked will do that to you. He turned around slowly, trying to find where the sound came from. _Wow _he thought _I didn't realize Barrister and I were _that_ similar…_

There was tense silence. A night owl hooted, and far off shore, thunder sounded. The man with the gun, unseen by Zoro, stood in the back of a dark alley, gun barrel pointed directly below the line of green. He gritted his teeth; his arms shook.

BANG!

A single shot rang out. Zoro ducked down and ran quickly towards the sound of the shot. The man was gone. All that was left in the alley was a smoking gun, scraped as if it had been thrown against the brick wall.

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby. 8/20. 10:45 am.

"REALLY?" yelled Nami, a look of shock etched on her face. Zoro had just told her of what happened in front of Nitonnec Total Fitness.

Zoro nodded. "It looks the killer got cold feet, and couldn't make a repeat performance… either that, or it was someone else entirely."

"Wasn't Zoro scared?" asked Hina, her look of concern rivaling, if not surpassing, Nami's.

"Nah" shrugged Zoro. "I don't die easily."

Hina just stared at him. Nami stared a moment too, then shrugged. "He's got a point" she admitted, and began pacing.

BOOM!

"DETECTIVE TRACY SPADE REPORTING SIR!" barked the gravel-voiced detective, who has just kicked in the door dramatically.

"Did you find anything?" asked Zoro, getting right down to business.

Spade smiled. "Of course! What do you take me for?" He held out a small notebook. "I believe _this _is what you wanted."

Zoro's eyes lit up. He grabbed the notebook and flipped through it quickly. His eyes fell on the last entry. "Perfect" he grinned.

"What is it?" asked Nami, straining to see over Zoro's shoulder.

Zoro brushed her off. "Here" he handed it to her.

Hamilton's Diary: 8/17. 5:30 pm. 'Captain Hina is coming over later to discuss _that case_… I believe I've found something that will shed light on the situation, but I'll have to go to the library to make sure. Perhaps, after all this time, the soul of Aetius Barrister can rest in peace.'

Nami looked at Zoro oddly. "Either you're one step ahead of me or… this isn't what you were looking for."

Zoro shook his head and sighed. "All will be explained, my dear. All will be explained."

Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/20. 11:00 am.

BANG!

"The trial of Captain Hina of the World Government Marines will now come to order!" Judge Bell spoke softly, not having to raise his voice for lack of an audience.

Zoro stood tall, certain of himself in court for the first time (scary, huh?) "The defense is ready your honor."

At the prosecutor's bench, Manson Mawelyr looked overconfident, but not as much as usual. There was a certain tenseness in his form, a certain uneasiness in his manner. "The prosecution is ready, your honor." It was the first time he had ever said that.

"When we adjourned last, the defense had presented us with a dilemma" Bell explained. "How did the defendant commit the murder, then run to Judge Hamilton's house where she was arrested? The prosecution will provide an explanation for this problem."

"The problem with Mr. Zolo's explanation" Mawelyr sneered, "is that it relies completely on the testimony of Mr. Geoffrey Belabor; a testimony which, as the defense has proven itself, is unreliable." Mawelyr shook his head mockingly. "The prosecution moves that the witness' testimony be completely stricken from the record."

"Object to that!" whispered Nami. "That's our entire case!"

Zoro stood at the bench, eyes closed. He did not say a word.

"Very well" the judge said, after seeing there were no objections. "The witness' testimony will be stricken."

"Provided, of course, that the prosecution presents a more reliable witness to take Mr. Belabor's place" Zoro added.

Mawelyr grinned broadly. "You're catching on, aren't you, Mr. Zolo?"

"Just call your witness already" Zoro replied.

Mawelyr was taken aback, but only slightly. "Confident today, are we?" He stroked his chin with his right hand. "Very well then, Mr. Zolo. The prosecution calls Mr. Robert Flex to the stand!"

Zoro fought to contain a chuckle. _Saw it coming_.

The years had not aged Robert Flex. He was even more muscular than he was his day in court, and his hair only had the slightest amount of grey hairs.

"Name. Occupation." Mawelyr said mechanically.

"My name is Bo Flex," said Robert "I am a personal trainer at Nitonnec Total Fitness, the building next to where the murder took place."

"And what are you here to testify about, Mr. Flex?" asked Bell.

Flex stood at the stand silently for a moment. He swallowed hard, and then said, "I witnessed Captain Hina flee the scene of the crime."

"WHAAAAAT?" yelled Zoro. "That's… that's just…"

"If you would allow the witness to testify?" asked Mawelyr condescendingly.

"Alright… let's hear what you have to say, Bo." Zoro grumbled.

-Hina's Run-

"I was working out in the weight room at Nitonnec Total Fitness."

"I heard an alarm sound, and rushed towards the window."

"I saw a woman with long, blonde hair jump out the window."

"I saw her face clearly, it was that of the defendant, standing right over there!"

-End Testimony-

"Cross-examine" snapped Mawelyr.

"Mr. Flex…" began Zoro, "is there anyone who can provide you an alibi for this crime?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"You know there is, Gorgon Zolo!" Mawelyr interjected quickly. "There was…"

"Let the _witness_ answer the question, if you please" quipped Zoro.

Judge Bell nodded in agreement. "The prosecution will refrain from answering the defense's questions." Mawelyr glared at Zolo, and nodded slightly.

"Well? Mr. Flex? Is there a person who can prove you were in the weight room?" Zoro asked again.

"Yes." Flex answered. Silence. Bo wasn't keen on giving any more than that.

"Who?" asked Zoro, staring intently at the witness.

"There was…" Flex stopped. He had a fifty-fifty chance at this. "Another man there at the time…"

**OBJECTION!**

"Mr. Flex… you are here to tell the truth…"

"NOT TO TELL WHATEVER STORY MAWELYR TELLS YOU TO!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"HOW DARE YOU!" yelled Mawelyr, offended. "You think I put him up to lying? You think I _told_ him to commit perjury?" Mawelyr slammed his right fist against the wall. "Show me proof, Gorgon Zolo!"

"You want proof? Look at the witnesses testimony!" Zoro accused. "He clearly said there was _another man_ in the weight room with him! HOWEVER! There was only one other person in the weight room that day!"

"MS. NICOLE RAVEN! And as anyone can clearly see just by looking at her, she is _not_ a man!"

"BUT!" Mawelyr snapped back, "You don't have any proof that Ms. Raven was the _only_ person in the weight room that day! _There very well may have been a man there!_"

"But Mr. Flex said that he ran to the window after hearing the alarm!" Zoro argued back. "If he had done so, he would have had to have seen Ms. Raven! _She was at the window, and she was the one who pulled the alarm!_"

"You can't honestly expect the court to accept that as a conclusive contradiction!" Mawelyr screamed. "Mr. Flex very well may have _forgotten_ seeing Ms. Raven that day!"

"But Ms. Raven could hardly forget seeing Mr. Flex that day, if he had been in the weight room." Zoro grinned. "Your honor, I'd like to request that the present cross-examination be placed on hold, and that Ms. Nicole Raven be called back for re-direct examination!"

Judge Bell nodded. "That seems quite appropriate. This court will go into a twenty-minute recess, while Ms Raven is…"

"Ms. Raven is presently in the courthouse, your honor" Zoro informed the judge. "There is no need for recess."

Mawelyr was shocked. "You… you're _prepared?_"

"I'm finishing this today, Mawelyr" Zoro responded. He flashed Manson a serious look. "I'm finishing _everything_ today."

Mawelyr gave Zoro an uneasy look. "So be it," he said softly. "Call your witness to the stand."

Robin returned to the stand.

"One question." Zoro explained, "was Mr. Flex in the weight room at the time you witnessed the crime?"

Robin played with her hair absentmindedly. "No" she said simply.

"Thank you." Zoro's face beamed. "No further questions." Mawelyr looked ready to pop. "And I believe" Zoro continued, "that that pokes a very large hole into the prosecution's argument."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"How exactly does it do that?" asked Mawelyr, perturbed. "May I remind the court, that the only thing I, the prosecution is required to prove, is that no other person could have committed the crime." He sneered. "I have shown an event that ties Ms. Venkman inextricably to the crime, and I have shown decisive evidence that she is the murderer." He shook his head. "Who cares whether there are any witnesses who can show how Ms. Hina crossed to Judge Hamilton's house in twenty minutes? It doesn't matter; the fact remains that she did. In fact, I believe the person who first raised the question was _you_ Mr. Zolo…" He smirked. "Care to explain why it is impossible?"

"The testimony of Mr. Belabor shows…" Zoro began.

"The testimony of Mr. Belabor has been stricken" Mawelyr reminded the court. "It can no longer be used as evidence." Zoro hunched over, as if stuck by a blow in the stomach. He had allowed that to happen.

Judge Bell nodded. "It is as Mr. Mawelyr says," he agreed. "As of now, there is enough evidence to convict Ms. Hina of this crime." He looked at Mawelyr. "If you had asked for Mr. Belabor's testimony to be stricken _yesterday_, Mawelyr, we might not even be here right now."

"A bit inconvenient, I'll admit" Mawelyr apologized, "but at that time I… allowed myself to be caught up in the moment I suppose." He flicked his long hair with his right pointer finger. "Besides… it doesn't matter _how_ long it takes… as long as I get a 'guilty', it counts."

"Very true, you must be very excited Mr. Mawelyr. This trial will mark the completion of your triathlon, a momentous achievement indeed," Judge Bell congratulated. "At this time, there is no room for doubt! Therefore, I find the defendant…"

**OBJECTION!**

"Easy now, your honor" Zoro warned. "You don't want to convict the defendant before I call all my witnesses, do you?"

"You… have another witness to call, Mr. Zolo?" The judge was surprised.

"I actually had _time_ to prepare a case today, your honor" Zoro explained. "Yesterday the World Government barely gave me twelve hours."

"Perhaps that was a bit unfair," the judge admitted."

"_Perhaps? A bit?_ Your honor, just confess, it was a travesty of justice!" Zoro goaded.

"Mr. Zolo, if you would call your witness instead of advancing an anarchical agenda?" Mawelyr glowered.

Zoro sighed dramatically. "_Fine._ The defense would like to recall Mr. Geoffrey Belabor!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Mr. Belabor's testimony has already been deemed unreliable! There is no reason to call him again!"

**OBJECTION!**

"I am having Mr. Belabor testify to a completely different subject than yesterday." Zoro explained. "And I would like to remind _you_ Mr. Mawelyr, that while you have had Mr. Belabor's testimony stricken, you have not taken the necessary steps to _impeach_ the witness. Only when you do that can he not testify here again." Zoro smiled. Those law quizzes Nami had been giving him were finally paying off.

"What happens to me now?" asked Bo Flex, developing abandonment issued.

"Right now, unless you wish to be indicted for perjury, you can leave, and resign yourself to having your storyline unresolved until the epilogue" explained the judge.

"Sounds good to me!" cheered Flex. "Please realize it was nothing personal, Ms. Hina" he apologized to the defendant. "I was in fear for my life!"

"WHAT?" yelled Zoro. "What do you…"

"Bye!" Robert left the courtroom.

_Talk about an unresolved plot element…_

"Resolution is _so_ last year," posited Nami. "Who needs it?"

"Let's just get to the next witness…"

Geoffrey Belabor took the stand. He opened his mouth to begin to ramble.

**OJBECTION!** yelled Zoro.

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING YET!" yelled Belabor.

"Objection sustained." Bell slammed his gavel.

"Hey… what?"

"Do you want to be held in contempt, Mr. Belabor?"

"Well, no, but…"

"You will speak when spoken to, understood?"

"O…Ok…"

"Mr. Belabor" Zoro prompted. "I'd like you to testify as to your previous relationship with the defendant."

"Relationship? We… we never had a relationship!" Belabor defended, blushing slightly.

"That's not what I meant" Zoro clarified. "What I mean to ask is: have you ever met the defendant before this crime took place?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

'I fail to see how this line of questioning is relevant to the case your honor!" Mawelyr insisted.

"Mr. Zolo?" asked Judge Bell. "Is this relevant?"

"Yes" responded Zoro.

"OK then, continue."

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"YOUR HONOR!" Mawelyr yelled, flabbergasted. "Are you seriously that easily swayed? Don't you even want to know _why_ it's relevant?"

"I'm sure it is in some way," Bell explained "if it proves not to be, I will strike it from the record."

Mawelyr grimaced slightly. "Very well then…"

"Mr. Belabor?" Zoro queried again. "Have you met the defendant before this incident?"

"Hrm…" Belabor mused. "I… I don't believe so…"

_All I needed to hear._

**OBJECTION!**

"Mr. Belabor" Zoro tensed "Do you recall what you said to me when you learned I was taking this case?"

"Um… um?" Belabor looked worried.

"Allow me to remind you…"

-Flashback-

_"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF DEFENDING THAT RASCAL HINA, ARE YOU? She's nothing but trouble!"_

-End Flashback-

"May I remind the court, Ms. Hina was using an alias on this island; namely that of one 'Officer Venkman'!"

"IF YOU HAD REALLY NEVER MET HER BEFORE, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN HER NAME!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"MR. ZOLO!" yelled Mawelyr. "I'm still having a hard time understanding _how this is relevant_ to the case at hand!"

"It's _very_ relevant, especially when you allow your thinking process to ask the next natural question…" Zoro explained. "Mr. Belabor… _where_ have you met the defendant before?"

"Um… well, you see…" Belabor stuttered.

"If I may be so bold," Zoro said slyly. "I believe it has something to do with _this_." He handed Mr. Belabor the manila file marked 'Trinity Affair'.

Belabor's eyes bulged. He gulped several times. His muscles visibly tensed. "I know nothing." He stated flatly. "I don't know anything about the murder of Judge Dreyfus!"

"How do you know the 'Trinity Affair' refers to that, Mr. Belabor?" Zoro queried.

"I know nothing." Belabor repeated again.

"How could you know" Zoro continued, his voice slowly escalating to higher and higher levels of volume, "seeing that, as you would have us believe, you have lived on the island of Lotipac until just recently, _seeing as how the file you hold is only marked 'Trinity Affair', SEEING AS THE FILE IS _COMPLETELY_ EMPTY, AND SEEING HOW THIS AFFAIR OCCURRED OVER TEN YEAS AGO?!"_

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"I don't know how you know about that affair, Mr. Zolo," interrupted Mawelyr. "But you will refrain from badgering the witness! If Mr. Belabor claims to know nothing, then he knows nothing."

"I know _nothing._" Belabor emphasized, not daring to look up from the stand.

"Really?" Zoro asked mockingly. "Then let's go swimming!"

Belabor tensed again.

"I mean if you truly, honestly know nothing, and I yelled at you, then I feel kind of bad." Zoro said with mock regret. "We should go swimming sometime and I can make it up to you!"

Belabor smiled sadly. "You… you know who I really am, don't you whippersnapper?"

Zoro nodded respectfully. "Yes sir, I do."

"You know I won't admit it then, don't you?" Belabor taunted.

"I believe as soon as I speak the name, at least three people in this room will recognize you" Zoro challenged.

Belabor chuckled sadly. "Go on then. Do your worst."

Zoro sighed softly. _I'm sorry about this… I know you only wanted to get away from everything… but the truth has to come out._ "You are Graham Bell" he accused "primary suspect of the Trinity Affair, ten years ago."

Mawelyr, Hina, and Judge Bell stared at the witness for a minute, carefully scrutinizing him for the first time.

"Son?" Judge Bell uttered, suddenly short of breath.

"He's right…" Mawelyr muttered.

"Oh my God, it's him!" Hina exclaimed.

"Um… Zoro? Who's Graham Bell?" asked Nami.

"You were asleep, you wouldn't know," explained Zoro.

"Son… where have you been all these years?" asked Judge Bell. "After Aetius Barrister was found dead… people talked, but I never believed… did you… tell me you didn't…"

"I didn't!" Graham protested. "I never laid a finger on Aetius Barrister!" He looked away shamefully. "But I knew people would talk. I knew they would start putting two and two together and make five… I couldn't stay. The suspicion that had been cast on me from Judge Dreyfus' murder was enough as it was, and Judge Hamilton never believed that I didn't do it." He looked up with burning eyes. "I hated him." He confessed. "I hated Hamilton more than I've ever hated anyone in my entire life!" Tears swelled up in his eyes. "So I tried to start again. I hopped around from island to island, but somehow, everywhere I went, disaster struck." He began to shake. "I knew I had to come back. This was the only place I could ever call home… but as long as Hamilton was out there, trying to muddy my good name… I could never rest in peace." He looked up at his father pleadingly. "I… am so… sorry…" He collapsed on the stand, shaking.

No one said a word. Graham Bell, ten years of running, had finally come home.

"I believe…" Mawelyr said delicately. "That that… constitutes a confession, your honor."

Alexander Bell nodded slightly. "I suppose your right."

"I don't care anymore," explained Graham, weeping. "I just… I just want it to be over…"

"It is, son." Bell comforted softly. "It is."

Nami began to cry. "This… this isn't right! Why… _why did you have to do this, Zoro?_"

Zoro said nothing. He simply stood there, allowing the scene to play out.

"At this time…" Bell said. "I believe the truth has made itself known… I find the defendant…"

NOT GUILTY

"This court is…"

**OBJECTION!**

"This court is what, your honor?" asked Zoro. "The defense has simply posited, truthfully, that Mr. Belabor is in fact Graham Bell." He pointed dramatically at the witness. "AT NO TIME HAS THE DEFENSE ACCUSED MR. BELL OF MURDER!"

"WHAT?" Judge Bell reeled. "But my son… as much as I want to deny it, he's confessed!"

"He has?" asked Zoro. "When did he say 'I killed Judge Hamilton'?" Zoro shook his head. "I believe the one who urged that this be taken as a confession… was Manson Mawelyr."

Mawelyr waved off the comment. "I decided to put the truth over my win record; I _do_ that occasionally, Mr. Zolo."

"But I would think someone so close to completing their triathlon…" Zoro mused. "Would notice the _obvious_ contradiction in my explanation…"

"HM?" Judge Bell was interested. "You advanced a case _fully knowing_ there was a contradiction?"

"I did, your honor" Zoro confessed. "I had a hunch, and I wanted to see if it held any water." He clenched his fist. "And now… I can, with full confidence, announce my next course of action."

"THE DEFENSE FORMALLY ACCUSES PROSECUTOR MANSON MAWELYR OF THE MURDER OF JUDGE THOMAS HAMILTON!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"WHAAAT?" yelled Mawelyr, reeling backwards from shock. "THAT'S _PREPOSTEROUS!_ Judge Hamilton was a close friend of mine, I'm _insulted_ that you would accuse me!"

"But look at the writing on the wall at the crime scene!" Zoro pointed out. "It clearly says 'Venkman' on the wall! However, as the defense has clearly shown, Mr. Graham Bell knows the defendants real name!"

"IF HE WAS TRYING TO FRAME THE CRIME ON MY CLIENT, HE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN _THAT_ NAME, NOT HER ALIAS!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"That's easily explainable!" Mawelyr defended. "Judge Hamilton was unaware of the defendant's true name! That's why he wrote her alias down!"

**OBJJECTION!**

"I doubt that" Zoro shot back. "I have here a page from Judge Hamilton's diary!" He handed it to Judge Bell. "As you can clearly see, your honor, Mr. Hamilton was well aware of the defendant's true name and rank."

"INDEED!" The judge exclaimed. "But what does this mean?"

"Over the course of this entire trial…" Zoro explained. "Only _one person_ has never called the defendant by her real name!" He pointed at the prosecutor across from him. "MANSON MAWELYR! ANSWER ME! WHAT IS THE DEFENDANT'S REAL NAME?"

"What… of… of course I know the defendant's name!" Mawelyr stuttered. "It's been used several times over the course of the trial!"

"But you don't really listen to the trial, do you?" Zoro challenged. "You separate yourself, only reacting when it's necessary for you to react! I ASK AGAIN! WHAT IS THE DEFENDANT'S REAL NAME?"  
"It's…um…er…" Mawelyr faltered. "Patricia?"

"Her name is Hina" Zoro stated. Hina smiled at him.

"Well… yes, that's nice…" Mawelyr argued. "But really, it proves nothing." He laughed uneasily. "Remember, Judge Hamilton was _seen_ writing the killer's name by your own Ms. Raven!" He slammed the table with his right hand. "IT'S AN UNARGUABLE _FACT_ THAT HE WROTE THE NAME!"

**OBJECTION!**

"Actually" Zoro pointed out, "I believe Ms. Raven's _exact_ words were this…"

-Flashback-

_"Well, to be frank, the killer's body was in the way, so I only saw Mr. Hamilton write the last three letters of the word."_

-End Flashback-

"You said that you and Mr. Hamilton were close friends, yes?" Zoro asked rhetorically. "The last three letters of 'Venkman' are M-A-N. The _first three _ letters of YOUR name are exactly the same! M-A-Nson!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"But those letters, as you have pointed out, _end_ Ms. Hina's alias and _begin_ my name! The similarity is purely coincidental!"

**OBJECTION!**

"But recall what my partner Reno pointed out yesterday! Mr. Hamilton's finger lies not at the _end_ of the word, but under the 'k'! Doesn't it strike anybody as _odd_ that a dying man would exert the energy to move his hand after finishing to write his killer's name?" He smashed the bench for effect. "There is a much simpler explanation! Mr. Hamilton began writing his killer name, but was stopped halfway! Then the true killer used Hamilton's bloody hand to add on to those letters, framing someone else entirely!"

"SOUND FAMILIAR MANSON?"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"It's an interesting little theory, I admit." Mawelyr sneered. "But it's only that! The fact still remains that it's _Hina's_ alias on that wall, and _Hina's_ gun that was the murder weapon!"

"True, the weapon was a 42-calibur pistol, covered with Hina's fingerprints" Judge Bell recalled. "Only someone with sufficient training, i.e., a marine, would be able to fire the gun without dislocating their own shoulder!"

"And what if the murder _did_ dislocate his shoulder?" queried Zoro.

"Then that rules me out as a suspect, doesn't it, Gorgon?" taunted Mawelyr.

Zoro slammed a fist into the wall. "I have to disagree! You see, I've been paying attention for this entire trial, and you know what? You've _never_ moved your left arm. Not even once."

Mawelyr tensed. "Haven't I?"

"You haven't." Zoro beamed. "I think you know what comes next Mawelyr. The defense requests that you _move your left arm!_"

Mawelyr stood for a minute, shaking. "I… I can't." He finally said.

_YEAH! CASE CLOSED!_

"A young whippersnapper much like yourself assaulted me the afternoon of the 18th, and I've been unable to get my arm reset because of the trial." Mawelyr flipped his hair. "That's the kind of man I am."

_Double crap on a wraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!_

"THAT'S BULL!" Zoro accused.

"Prove it." Mawelyr sneered.

"Mr. Zolo, this kind of demonstration, while persuasive…" explained Bell.

"Is not enough to convict a person in a court of law, yeah, I know," said Zoro quickly. _I'm so close! Just a little more… give me a little more!_

Zoro racked his brain. He went over every single detail, every miniscule fact he had learned over the past few days. He began to sweat; his breathing became irregular. "GAAAAH!" He screamed suddenly, and he fell onto the bench. _So close… I was so close!_

"Gorgon!" yelled Nami suddenly. "What are you doing, you have this guy!"

"I know… I know this guy did it… but I can't _prove_ it… I don't have enough!"

"Then look at it from another angle!" Nami advised. Zoro stood up, startled. "Don't answer the question _How do I prove Mawelyr did it?_, that's exactly what he wants you to do! Think outside the box!"

"Outside the box?" Zoro whispered. _If I can't prove _how_ Mawelyr did it… _Zoro was struck by inspiration. _I'll just have to prove _why _he _had_ to do it! _"GRAHAM BELL!" Zoro cried.

"ACK!" Graham uttered in shock. "Don't tell me you're accusing _me_ now!"

"Of course not!" Zoro quipped quickly. "I need you to testify… about that night!"

"What night?" asked Graham. "I've had a lot of nights over the years… why I recall on time on Alabasta I met this young sword dancer and we…"

"THE NIGHT OF JUDGE DREYFUS' MURDER!" interrupted Zoro, not wanting to lose the T rating.

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"How on _earth_ does that horrible night have _anything_ to do with this murder?" Mawelyr objected.

"That night is the very _root_ of this murder, as you very well know, Mawelyr!" Zoro snapped back. Judge Bell cowered behind his desk. He didn't like how intense the two lawyers were getting, and he was willing to bet that if just stepped out of the picture, the whole affair would straighten itself out.

Zoro turned his attention to Graham. "Graham… I need you testify about what you saw at the courthouse that night." Graham began to object, but Zoro raised his hand, motioning him to stop. "Please. There's no point in trying to cover up the fact that you were there… if you testify now, we might be able to end this."

Graham stood at the stand, uncertain for a moment. Then he gave a curt nod. "Understood."

-That fateful night-

"I was snooping around the courthouse that night for… well, I can't say why."

"I was near the doors when… WHAM… a man came barreling out of the courthouse. He knocked right into me, and I dropped my watch."

"The man… I never caught his face, but he was very slender, he had longish hair, and there was a length of black rope trialing out from his sleeve."

"Then I looked in and saw my grandfather, hung with that same black rope. I turned around and tried to catch the man… but he was already gone."

"I knew that, because of my Rope-Rope powers, everyone would suspect me… so I fled, and tried to make it look like I was never there."

-End Testimony-

Mawelyr, who had been uneasy throughout the entire testimony, smiled and relaxed. "Nothing" he stated. "Nothing in that testimony can be used against me."

"I don't know about that…"Zoro mused. "I think one thing is made very clear by this testimony…the person who killed Liberty Dreyfus… had eaten of the Rope-Rope fruit."

"It would appear that way," agreed Judge Bell, peeking his head out of his hiding place. "But I thought you said that you _weren't_ trying to indict my son…"

"Need I remind you?" asked Zoro "it's your own son's testimony that cause us to come to this conclusion! From this, I can only deduce one thing…"

"THERE ARE, IN FACT, _TWO_ ROPE-ROPE USERS ALIVE TODAY!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"PREPOSTEROUS!" yelled Mawelyr. "There is only one kind of each devil fruit in existence! What you have suggested is _impossible!_"

"It's interesting," mused Zoro "how you can flip-flop your stance on an issue so easily, depending on whether it can help you or not."

"What… what do you mean?" sputtered Mawelyr.

"I'm referring to what you said only yesterday" Zoro recalled.

-Flashback-

_"You are well informed, your honor" conceded Mawelyr. "It is true that only one of each type of devil fruit exists. However, if more than one person was to eat from the same fruit" he paused for effect "than they would both gain the consequent powers."_

-End Flashback-

"I don't think any ordinary person could have come up with a theory like that" Zoro explained "not even world-renowned scientist Dr. Vegapunk has thought of that yet! The only way I see you being able to think of that is if _you yourself_ had experienced it!" He smashed the bench. "MANSON MAWELYR! YOU ARE THE OTHER ROPE-ROPE USER, AND THE TRUE KILLER OF LIBERTY DRERFUS!"

**AHBJECSHEEEN!**

"Not satisfied with accusing me of only _one_ crime, are you, Mr. Zolo?" Mawelyr protested. "Either way, it doesn't matter! Whether or not I am a Rope-Rope user has no bearing on the current case!"

**OBJECTION!**

"It does, in fact" Zoro held up the small fragment of black rope he had found in the library window. "This piece of rope was found jammed in the window that the killer jumped out of!" He explained. "You'll notice…" he held up Hina's rope, the rope from the Trinity Affair. "This sample and this one, the _murder weapon_ from the Dreyfus murder, are exactly the same!"

"THESE TWO INCIDENTS WERE COMMITED BY THE SAME CRIMINAL, AND THAT CRIMINAL IS _YOU_ MAWELYR!"

"PROVE IT!" yelled Mawelyr frantically. "PROVE I DID IT!"

"Prove you didn't" Zoro shot back. "If you're not a Rope-Rope user, prove it, and go for a swim!" Mawelyr tensed, his teeth ground together. He shook visibly. He knew; he knew it was over.

"Mr. Mawelyr" the judge commanded. "If you are, indeed, a devil fruit user, you will show the court your power, now!"

Veins popped out of Mawelyr's forehead. The desperation with which he had fought these allegations came to a head. He tipped his head back, and an inhuman scream (not unlike that of a re-dead) from his mouth, finally dying out into a slow, soft whimper. He slumped his right hand onto the bench, and a length of black rope fell out of it. It was identical to the two samples Zoro had.

"Bastard…" he insulted softly. "You noble, truth-seeking bastard…" Mawelyr's entire body slumped over, and for the first time, he appeared frail. "It… it was an accident… Dreyfus, I mean… we were discussing our latest case, joking around, having a good time… I showed him the power I'd just gotten, and, well… I couldn't control it… one thing led to another and…" A tear appeared in Mawelyr's eye. "I never meant to frame anyone… the police somehow came to the conclusion that Bo Flex was the only one capable of committing the crime… and I had to prosecute the trial." He chuckled sadly. "I think… I think that was the day I became so… unfeeling, when it came to trials… I had to set my own feelings of guilt aside, and go after someone I _knew_ was innocent…" He choked, and was unable to speak for a moment.

"Judge Hamilton… he finally figured out it was you, didn't he?" Zoro suggested softly.

"Yes…" Mawelyr conceded. "I overheard him talking to his maid one day, saying that he had seen the case in a whole new light… that perhaps it wasn't Graham Bell _or_ Robert Flex, but someone else… I lost control. Before I knew what I was doing, I had stolen a gun from a marine, run down to the library and…" He paused. He knew everyone knew what had happened. "I only fully realized what had happened after I heard that alarm sound. I knew I had to pin the crime on someone else… I vaguely recalled the name of the marine I'd stolen the gun from was 'Venkman'…" He looked at Hina. "We've met before… ten years ago, yes?" Hina nodded solemnly. "It may seem inconsequential now… but… I'm sorry I didn't remember your name… and I am… _so_ sorry… about what happened to Aetius…" He turned towards Zoro. "You're just like him, did you know that? Perhaps you're a bit more muscular…"

"And perhaps Aetius was a _lot_ better looking…" Hina added.

"But you're the same, truth-seeking, blind faith-wielding idiot that he was…" Mawelyr continued. "I envied him… I envy you." He looked Zoro in the eye for the first time. "I've always wanted… to be able to believe in people. I just…" His voice trailed off. Finally, he looked Judge Bell in the eye. "I confess." He said. "I am the murderer of Judge Thomas Hamilton… and of Judge Liberty Dreyfus, ten years ago. I'm sorry… if I caused your family so much pain and sorrow… I just… couldn't live up to what I had done… to my friend."

"Wait" Zoro asked uncertainly. "But didn't you… didn't you also kill Barrister?"

Mawelyr almost laughed. "Believe what you will, Mr. Zolo… but I could never kill in cold blood… the fact that you're still alive today is testament enough to that…"

_It was _him_, _Zoro realized. He_ was the one in the alley yesterday!_

"Judge Bell?" asked Mawelyr softly.

"Yes, Manson?" the judge replied.

"There's… there's really no reason for us to be here," said Mawelyr. "Announce your verdict… I'm actually quite excited to start my life sentence at Impel Down… it might help me make up for all the things I've done." Mawelyr's face showed unending gratitude. "I don't have to hide anymore. Thank you… Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro's eyes widened. _He knew._

Judge Bell gave Mawelyr curious look, but shook it off quickly. "Very well then. In the case of Island vs. Captain Hina, this court finds the defendant…"

NOT GUILTY

Mawelyr smiled. Nami let out a whoop of joy. Hina began to cry, overjoyed. Graham ran up to the judge's bench, and father and son shared a large bear hug.

"This court is adjourned!" yelled Judge Bell, as soon as he could catch his breath.

Nitonnec Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/20. 3:33 pm.

"WE DID IT!" yelled Nami, bounding out of the courtroom.

"Yeah, we did" Zoro agreed, trying to remain stoic despite his unending sense of accomplishment.

"MR. ZORO!!" yelled an overjoyed Hina. She ran up to him, jumped him, and planted a kiss right on his cheek.

Zoro blushed. "Oh, c'mon… don't be like that…"

"Why the heck not?" said Graham, bounding into the courtroom. "Youth these days! Can't take advantage of a lucky break, even when it _literally_ jumps into their laps! Why, when I was a boy, we would take advantage of women just as easily as breathing! Why I recall a time…" He stopped. "You guys… you're not going to interrupt me?"

Zoro laughed. "Nah. I'm in too good a mood."

"And besides that" Nami added. "You practically _won_ the trial back there with your testimony Mr. Bell!"

Graham beamed. "Oh… please." He blushed. "Call me Graham."

Zoro set Hina down. Graham looked at Zoro, the smile on his face receding somewhat. "Mawelyr… back there he called you Roronoa Zoro… you're not really?"

"I am." Zoro admitted.

"The Straw Hat from the raid of Enies Lobby?" asked Graham.

"The very same."

"WELL THEN!" Graham smiled, clapping a hand on Zoro's back. "_That's_ a bit of a twist isn't it? A pirate, of all people, defending a marine in a court of law!"

"It is a bit silly isn't it?" Hina admitted. "But… Hina thinks she made the right choice."

"I wonder…" Nami wondered, "If Mawelyr knew the whole time, why didn't he say something? The entire thing could have been dismissed as a mistrial!"

"Maybe he _wanted_ to be caught?" suggested Zoro.

"Hina thinks…" she guessed, running a finger along Zoro's shoulder. "That it's because you're so similar to Aetius…" she smiled. "Manson Mawelyr _adored_ Aetius. Every time Hina met him, he wanted to know how 'that truth-loving, second-rate bastard' was doing…" Hina chuckled. "Deep down… Hina thinks Mawelyr wanted to be just like him."

"Someone wanting to be just like _Zoro?_" asked Nami in mock dismay. "What a _horrible _thought!" Zoro began to object, but Nami just laughed, punching him playfully on the shoulder. "No screaming objection! You'll run your throat ragged!" Nami laughed.

Zoro mocked putting. "But… but I _like_ screaming objection…"

And then he was struck with a single, glorious thought.

"Hina?" he asked. "Would you do something for me?"

Hina looked at Zoro. "Anything you want" she whispered jokingly.

Zoro gathered Hina and Graham together, and explained his plan.

Thousand Suns. 8/21. 4:00 pm.

Sanji sat on the deck of the ship, trying not to fall asleep. _Guard duty is so… boring…_ he yawned. _I wish I could be out on the town, picking up some chicks…_

"YOOHOO!" came a cry from the lower deck. Sanji looked down, and was flabbergasted at what he saw. Hina, dressed in nothing but a bright red, skimpy, two-piece bathing suit, was waving at Sanji. She blew him a kiss, and motioned for him to come down.

Sanji fell over in his hurry to rush down. He ran quickly down two flights of stairs, hurtled over a balcony, and landed a mere thirty feet away from Hina. He ran blindly towards her, hearts in eyes. "I'M COMING HONEY!!" he yelled, love struck.

Hina laughed, the sidestepped. Sanji ran right past her, into a straw-colored rope trap. "NOW!" she yelled.

On the other end of the rope, Graham Bell pulled. Sanji's leg was caught in the rope, and he went flying into the air. He swayed violently for several minutes, finally coming to a stop approximately fifty feet above the deck.

Zoro stepped out, laughing. Sanji caught sight of him, and began swearing. "ZORO YOU ING MARIMO! I'M GOING TO ING RIP OFF YOUR AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ING , THEN KICK YOU IN THE ING SO THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO SIDEWAYS! !

"Say the magic word and we'll let you down" Zoro taunted.

"PLEEEEEEASE!" Sanji begged.

"Nope guess again."

"NAMI-SAN IS A WITCH-WOMAN!" Sanji screamed.

"True enough, but that's not the magic word."

"THEN WHAT IS IT YOU STUPID MARIMO?!" Sanji yelled.

Zoro made a motion to Graham; Graham nodded, and let the rope fly, stopping Sanji abruptly when he was five feet away from the deck. Zoro went up to Sanji, laughing. "You want to know the magic word?" he whispered, getting ridiculously close to Sanji's ear. "I'll tell you," he said almost inaudibly. "It's…"

(COME ON! EVERYBODY!)

**OBJECTION!**

**-**Epilogue

Robert Flex was not charged with perjury. Seeing as the suspicions held over him had not affected his daily life, he noticed no difference, and continued being a personal trainer.

Alexander and Graham Bell went on a two-month vacation to Barbados. Why Barbados exists in the made up world of One Piece is their current topic of long, _long_ discussion.

Manson Mawelyr was sentenced to life at Impel Down. He was, however, given one chance for parole… if he is ever falsely accused of a crime.

Smoker found his chain and sunglasses. He has decided to start rapping as a hobby, under the pseudonym 'Bizzoy'. Whether or not Amaxing records will sign him is up to debate.

Django and Fullbody took Usopp on a trip to Disco Ball City. They defeated every oncoming challenger, and Usopp eventually won the ocean-wide dancing competition. They are currently thinking of starting a Chippendale dance squad. Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. will _definitely_ not sign them.

Hina still refers to herself in the third person. She is currently, regardless of objections from Zoro, trying to pass a motion that the Straw Hats be pardoned for all past offenses. It will never stand, but it's a nice gesture.

Sanji was finally let down at 8:00 pm. He'd still be hanging there to this day if Luffy had not arrived and got him down so he could make dinner.

Luffy was happy when he got dinner.

Franky, Chopper, and Brooke really weren't in this story. They are currently writing a petition.

Robin secretly got Bo Flex to sell her gym equipment, and also got him to move it to the ship. She is still worrying about her figure; God knows why.

Nami finally found a reason to admire Zoro. It still doesn't stop her from nagging him, insulting him, and unconditionally detesting him, but now she does it with a smile. She is currently working Robin, hoping that she will sell the gym equipment for a profit.

The random Marxist onlooker from Chapter 11 is disgusted by such behavior.

Zoro slept for three straight days after the trial. He is currently studying to pass the bar exam, while at the same time worrying that all the time he's spending studying to become a lawyer is taking away from his becoming the greatest swordsman in the world. He shouldn't worry. He doesn't know that, however.

Amaxing is thankful that this chapter, now on page thirty freaking two, is finally over. He is currently debating over whether he should thaw his fingers, massage his fingers, or bite his fingers off so as to prevent him from writing anymore. He's a bit sad that the story is over, and wonders whether he should write _yet another_ sequel. He probably will, unless he finds it… you guessed it… objectionable.

End.


End file.
